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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

35 weeks pregnant, DP in bed with someone else

190 replies

Stargirl17 · 08/04/2018 04:41

Fuck.
He had a few friends around last night after the football, I had some work to do so I popped down to say hi but left them to it & went to bed around midnight.
He didn’t come to bed. I just got up for a wee assuming he was on the sofa but he’s asleep in the spare bed with another woman (his ex girlfriend).
WTAF?

OP posts:
Darkbendis · 08/04/2018 14:35

Not to mention getting drunk when you are 35 weeks pregnant! What if you needed to get to hospital ASAP !

And yes, lying about all of this!? Treating you like a mug now?

Redtartanshoes · 08/04/2018 14:38

What expat said. It starts off not great and gets worse.

Personalsituations99 · 08/04/2018 14:50

A) his ex wouldn't be stopping over. Whos idea was that? ( I bet I can guess)
B) they would both be out on their arse no questions asked!
Im fuming for you!

knowsmorethansnow · 08/04/2018 14:53

I would have woken them up with a bucket of water.

Personalsituations99 · 08/04/2018 14:54

This isn't normal.
First time a thread has left me utterly shocked!

caffeinefreebutsadaboutit · 08/04/2018 15:10

I don't think you're overreacting. I think you're under reacting! He was intimate with her, and then he lied about it!!

Gemini69 · 08/04/2018 15:16

your Under-Reacting..

but you're obviously desperate to believe his LIES way more than your own EYES...

so let it go... be prepared to find him back in her bed over the tears though.... just as friends mind Hmm

Dancingleopard · 08/04/2018 15:23

Maybe this is normal in other relationships but in my world this would just never ever happen.

It’s either a wind up or real in which case id pack his bag and send him on his merry way with her.

Weird.

ClashCityRocker · 08/04/2018 15:37

I've been accused of being a 'cool wife' on here before but I don't think you're overreacting.

I don't think getting into bed with an ex regardless of your state of clothing to watch a video together is an appropriate thing to do in any situation.

And neither does he, evidently, or he wouldn't have lied about it.

Passing out or not, he shouldn't have been in there in the first place to pass out. Does he usually have boundary issues with exes?

CowesTwo · 08/04/2018 16:29

You are so UNDER-reacting. I would have gone ballistic!

Bahhhhhumbug · 08/04/2018 17:01

Where's the Op? I would love to know what the ex said when she got up. Cheeky cah, unbelievable both of them.

PinkRedBlue · 08/04/2018 17:03

You are massively under reacting. I would have gone apeshit at them.

GrooovyLass · 08/04/2018 17:14

Sex or not, he not only crossed a line by choosing to get into bed with his ex rather than his pregnant wife, he then lied about it. That's such a nope.

Mothergothic · 08/04/2018 21:02

Total crossed a line he did. I hope you're doing okay op x

Personalsituations99 · 09/04/2018 07:08

How you doing OP.
I'm worried about your stress levels geavily pregnant!

Personalsituations99 · 09/04/2018 07:09

Heavily!*

Original poster
Stargirl17 · 09/04/2018 08:31

Sorry there’s not really much to tell, I didn’t actually see her yesterday.

We talked a lot yesterday, he knows he’s a shit. I’m so annoyed I’m having to deal with this right now but we’re just going to try and move on from this. Its definitely changed my opinion of him.

I’m ok though, I’m sad and hurt but I’ve had friends around me which has made things better.

And thank you for all the support on here, I was so shell shocked yesterday you all really helped to put it into perspective for me.

OP posts:
Personalsituations99 · 09/04/2018 08:39

I'm so sorry you feel like this.
Was she gone when you woke up? I hope shes ashamed!
I wouldn't trust him though, hes clearly a liar. Please don't let him take you for a mug OPFlowers

Evie0865 · 09/04/2018 08:50

Another voice here saying you're under-reacting

Jobjobjob · 09/04/2018 08:53

OP you must handle this the best you can given the current circumstances. But don't ever forget it. I'd also say that the friend never enters your home again. You're home should be your safe haven.

Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy! 💐

RedDice · 09/04/2018 09:38

Hope you have good friends around you op- what a horrible shock to have when you’re so heavily pregnant be kind to yourself.

FizzyGreenWater · 09/04/2018 09:41

He got into bed with her.

got in - chose to get in and cuddle up.

So, by definition, it isn't true that 'nothing happened'.

You are under-reacting.

Tiddlywinks63 · 09/04/2018 17:25

Good luck op, personally I would never trust him again.

RedDice · 09/04/2018 17:30

What has he said since op?

Gemini69 · 09/04/2018 17:40

Stargirl17

you and your Baby deserve better... do not forget this Flowers