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Original poster

Totally infatuated with man I occasionally work with

211 replies

Userwho · 31/03/2018 21:40

I've recently met a man through work. I'd seen pics before we met and colleagues had talked very positively about him and I'd had a feeling he would be my kind of guy. The minute I met him I was completely blown away. He is the kind of man I have fantasised about meeting since I was about 16!
Anyway we swapped numbers for work purposes and exchanged a couple of work related texts. He then text me at 10pm one night complimenting my profile pic and again the next night with quite a flirty but brief message. I replied in a jokey way but had nothing back except a laughing emoji Hmm
I literally cannot get him out of my head. I really want to ask him out but I have no real idea that he'd say yes and I have to work with him quite a bit this month. I'd also be absolutely terrified of actually going out with him if he did say yes. He just seems so far out my league, without meaning to put myself down!
Any ideas on what to do or not to do, or how to get him out my head?!

OP posts:
SpiritedLondon · 31/03/2018 21:55

Yep! Get yourself a great outfit that makes you feel amazing - get your hair done. Get your f-ing swag on and stop all this “ he’s out of my league” nonsense. These people don’t come along everyday.

annandale · 31/03/2018 21:58

So - are you free to go out with him? Is he free to go out with you?

Speaking as someone who is in the torturous throes of a horrible crush on someone married with small children and in other multiple ways completely unavailable - please, please take a deep breath and ask him out. Wouldn't it be worse to look back in five years and kick yourself for never doing it?

Original poster
Userwho · 31/03/2018 22:02

Loving the kick up the arse from both of you. I am free to go out with him yes and I've presumed he is because of the flirty text and because my colleagues think he is. Of course he might not be.
Tomorrow morning I have some childfree time to go get a new outfit, before I see him on Tuesday, which cannot come quick enough Grin
I would absolutely 100% regret not asking him out in 5 years yes!

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 31/03/2018 22:04

Please, please don't ask him out! The very early days of liking someone are so nice- don't rush it and don't ask him out - wait to see what happens, first. He's had a chance to ask you out and he hasn't taken it. Just bide your time, be friendly but don't answer late night texts and play a bit harder to get. I know I'll get slaughtered on here.

Original poster
Userwho · 31/03/2018 22:11

Oh no don't say that Hollow! That's what I've been telling myself, that he had the chance to ask me out and didn't, and he certainly isn't shy.
I'm also not particularly enjoying these early days of liking him! I feel a bit anxious over the whole thing and jump every time my phone vibrates in case it's him. In my defence, I've been out of the game for years!

OP posts:
woodhill · 31/03/2018 22:13

I agree with Hollow to some extent. Bide your time OP

Original poster
Userwho · 31/03/2018 22:35

I can't bear the wait though, I've always been impatient! I will be working with him this coming week so certainly wouldn't say anything before then.

OP posts:
woodhill · 31/03/2018 22:38

Let him chase you

Original poster
Userwho · 31/03/2018 22:40

Oh I wish he was actually chasing me!

OP posts:
CalmBeforeTheWave · 31/03/2018 22:49

I'm all for spontaneity and passion.

But is he single? Just saying as MN is mainly populated by women with stories. That's why we are here.

8SaltandVinegar · 31/03/2018 22:52

I'd wait a little bit. Enjoy the fun you have now, but protect yourself. He could be one of those ego boosting ass holes we see a lot of around MN.

PrettyLittIeThing · 31/03/2018 22:56

I agree 100% with hollow.

Original poster
Userwho · 31/03/2018 22:58

Ok, so everyone who agrees with hollow...how do I play harder to get?!

OP posts:
PrettyLittIeThing · 31/03/2018 23:00

There's no need to play hard to get I just wouldn't ask him out. See what happens..

Original poster
Userwho · 31/03/2018 23:01

What's the reasoning behind not asking him out?

OP posts:
MrsJoshDun · 31/03/2018 23:05

How recently did you meet him? Because ifpd give him a decent length of time to ask you out and only ask him myself either after a few months have passed or if you’re no longer going to see him via work.

Ginger1982 · 31/03/2018 23:06

You don't want to seem too eager. Get to know him a bit more then the opportunity to go out might just fall in your lap, especially if you're working together.

Original poster
Userwho · 31/03/2018 23:15

We've been communicating since beginning of the year but only actually met him 3 weeks ago and have only met him twice Blush Both times he didn't seem to want to leave and finished the meeting with kissing me on the cheek, definitely not the norm where I work!

OP posts:
FlaminYon · 31/03/2018 23:16

Well I’m onviously in the minority but I say ask him out. Whilst I agree with the line “he had his chance and didn’t...” you don’t know why he hasn’t. If you can handle a rejection then go for it.

Nobody says it has to be the man that asks the woman out, that’s a bit outdated surely and what if, whilst you’re pining, he meets someone else. You don’t have to throw yourself at him just “fancy a drink on Friday?” or whatever way you ask a casual friend out (I’ve been married a while so a bit out of the loop).

Good luck Smile

Original poster
Userwho · 31/03/2018 23:18

How long is a decent amount of time for him to ask me out?
Not sure I could handle a rejection actually Flamin!

OP posts:
MrsJoshDun · 31/03/2018 23:20

I’d say a couple of months.

I asked a guy out after waiting ten months and he was flirting a lot but didn’t ask me. He blew me out! I got over it.

Addictedtohavingbabies · 31/03/2018 23:22

I wouldn't ask him either. Make it obvious you like him, but don't go full on, and then let him do some of the work. If he hasn't asked you out after a while, then maybe ask him, as you need to know where you stand. But I would personally like a man to ask me out and make the effort as that's how you know they are into you.

Original poster
Userwho · 31/03/2018 23:22

Posted too soon! I can't wait two months to ask him out let alone ten months!! Especially if it's going to be a no I'd rather just know now.
I'll get this week of work done with him then I won't have anything else on with him til end of month. So maybe in between?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/03/2018 23:29

If you ask him out and he rejects you, how will that affect your working relationship?

Because that's also an important factor (well that and the fact you don't know at this point if he's single).

PrettyLittIeThing · 31/03/2018 23:43

There was a post on here recently about a woman who liked a man and she asked him out and he said no, not saying that's gonna happen but it's a possibility so do it if you can handle the rejection. Like I said though I personally wouldn't as I agree with the others about not wanting to sound too keen.

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