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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Totally infatuated with man I occasionally work with

211 replies

Userwho · 31/03/2018 21:40

I've recently met a man through work. I'd seen pics before we met and colleagues had talked very positively about him and I'd had a feeling he would be my kind of guy. The minute I met him I was completely blown away. He is the kind of man I have fantasised about meeting since I was about 16!
Anyway we swapped numbers for work purposes and exchanged a couple of work related texts. He then text me at 10pm one night complimenting my profile pic and again the next night with quite a flirty but brief message. I replied in a jokey way but had nothing back except a laughing emoji Hmm
I literally cannot get him out of my head. I really want to ask him out but I have no real idea that he'd say yes and I have to work with him quite a bit this month. I'd also be absolutely terrified of actually going out with him if he did say yes. He just seems so far out my league, without meaning to put myself down!
Any ideas on what to do or not to do, or how to get him out my head?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Userwho · 05/04/2018 21:30

His text was friendly rather than flirty and complimenting my work. Can't quite bring myself to ask him about the gf. It's more likely to be a yes than no and then I will have to work with him again in 2 weeks (plus prep meeting in the lead up) and I don't think I can brazen it out. And if he was single he's had ample chance now to ask me out.

OP posts:
bluebell34567 · 05/04/2018 22:17

if you ask him if he has a girlfriend and he says 'yes' I think his texts will become less and maybe disappear.
if he says 'no' then what will you do?.

PrettyLittIeThing · 05/04/2018 22:33

Why should she ask him if he has a gf? If he says he doesn't be could be lying because he wants to get his leg over. Just leave it op sometimes people act a little too desperate on here.

Lookatyourwatchnow · 05/04/2018 22:40

Argh I so wanted this thread to have a nice ending! What a twat. You should call him out on it in a really cutting and dismissive way

Original poster
Userwho · 05/04/2018 22:58

Yes exactly prettylittlething he could lie, she's conveniently abroad so he could say anything really and I wouldn't know the truth. His colleague (who is a good friend of his) would have current info and would have no reason to lie, so I'm taking it as true. I'm sad he's turned out to be seemingly trying it on despite being in a relationship because that means my bullshit radar needs some fine tuning!

OP posts:
LoveforPGTipsMonkey · 06/04/2018 01:16

but on social media he's still showing as single / they've split up? I thought you went by that info.

Original poster
Userwho · 06/04/2018 06:38

He's not on social media.

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 06/04/2018 06:49

Aw sorry he turned out to be a sleaze bag.

It's all practice for when the right man comes along.

bluebell34567 · 06/04/2018 09:30

he was too good to be true, then.

UnaMagdalena · 06/04/2018 13:47

Garybaldy that is perfect imo

comfycos · 06/04/2018 21:22

Ok, dilema!
Really like a guy who I don't know other than his son is friends with mine. I have his mobile number, we don't chat but I like him, I messaged him and said maybe we could have a coffee sometime ( was very casual,). He told his son and asked if it was ok if he took me out which was met with usual teenage response of " no problem ", however I've not heard from him.
Really want to message him again but so terrified of rejection.

bluebell34567 · 06/04/2018 23:55

don't do it comfycos, he got the message that you wanted to meet him. his son said 'ok' but I think he still has some reservations. the ball's in his corner.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 07/04/2018 12:41

I agree with Bluebell the ball is in his court. If he wants to take you out he will ask you

Original poster
Userwho · 13/09/2018 14:20

I just found this thread from April and wanted to update it!

So the guy in question went quiet for a couple of months and we didn't work together during that time so I kind of had to forget about him. He then popped up again and said his relationship had ended around the time I'd started this thread and then he.....asked me out! We've now been seeing each other around a month and it is as good, if not better, as the fantasy in my head Shock Wink

OP posts:
TatianaLarina · 13/09/2018 14:33

Congrats 🍾🥂👍🏼

Elephantinacravat · 13/09/2018 14:37

Wow, fantastic! I didn't see this thread the first time, but reading the title I thought you were married or something and it would be a chorus of 'forget him'. So when I saw you were single, and he had been flirty, and that it was an old thread, I immediately rushed to the end of the thread and wasn't disappointed!

showmeahero · 13/09/2018 14:42

Userwho this is great news! Congrats ❤️

OMGItsPierre · 13/09/2018 14:54

What an emotional rollercoaster this has been. Glad it's worked out. People who think they're out of someones league need their head looking at, there's no such thing as leagues.

ShopoholicIn · 13/09/2018 15:15

Hey that's great OP... congrats to u Userwho... FlowersWineCake

Irinn · 13/09/2018 15:27

First of all, relax. We all getting crazy when like some one a lot and everything is so exciting, but at the end we look ridiculous (saying some silly stuff and so on).

Second - dont ever answer to messages at 10 pm. He is not your boyfriend or husband that you can have a text-chat laying in bed. Chat with him during the day, in the evening you are busy (even if you are really not).

And the last - dont even think about asking a man out. HE has to "chase" you, not you offering yourself. Be nice and friendly with him, you can give him a hint, but never ever ask him out. If he is interested, he will ask you.

Firsttimer1234 · 13/09/2018 15:28

I've just read this whole thread from the begining. It was like an episode of Corrie. Glad it was a happy ending!

Hogtini · 13/09/2018 15:30

What a great update! Congrats OP Wink

prampushingdownthehighst · 13/09/2018 15:42

Brilliant news!

Loveyourself · 13/09/2018 15:47

So refreshing to read a 'happy ending' thread on MN! 🎉

Tigertill716 · 15/09/2018 10:34

Haha this is brilliant! Just seen it for the first time. Did you fess up to wanting to ask him out?