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Original poster

Totally infatuated with man I occasionally work with

211 replies

Userwho · 31/03/2018 21:40

I've recently met a man through work. I'd seen pics before we met and colleagues had talked very positively about him and I'd had a feeling he would be my kind of guy. The minute I met him I was completely blown away. He is the kind of man I have fantasised about meeting since I was about 16!
Anyway we swapped numbers for work purposes and exchanged a couple of work related texts. He then text me at 10pm one night complimenting my profile pic and again the next night with quite a flirty but brief message. I replied in a jokey way but had nothing back except a laughing emoji Hmm
I literally cannot get him out of my head. I really want to ask him out but I have no real idea that he'd say yes and I have to work with him quite a bit this month. I'd also be absolutely terrified of actually going out with him if he did say yes. He just seems so far out my league, without meaning to put myself down!
Any ideas on what to do or not to do, or how to get him out my head?!

OP posts:
bluebell34567 · 05/04/2018 10:57

so, when man look so interested but not make the first move can be already in a relationship, not because they are shy.

bluebell34567 · 05/04/2018 10:58

or they have some reservations.

LadyFlumpalot · 05/04/2018 11:47

Can you organise a small group of you together for a drink?

That way it's not a "date" but you can definitely engineer it towards being more "date-ish" if you feel the evening is going that way?

LadyFlumpalot · 05/04/2018 11:48

Whoops - Blush didn't RTFT. Ignore me.

Original poster
Userwho · 05/04/2018 11:50

I am distinctly unimpressed. He just complimented how I look and said he can appreciate a woman who looks good while looking me up and down Hmm
I couldn't hide the dirty look I'm afraid.
Back down to earth with a bump!

OP posts:
buckeejit · 05/04/2018 12:13

well it was fun while it lasted and your dignity is intact. Keep up the good search ;)

cakecakecheese · 05/04/2018 12:29

I know it's still shit and it totally doesn't let him off the hook but I suppose technically he wasn't lying as if he has a girlfriend abroad then he doesn't have a wife or kids or a partner living with him to look after. Funny how he didn't mention it to you though Hmm

I like the line about bungee jumping and Morag from accounts Grin

But anyway there's nothing wrong with fantasising over a hot guy for a bit and maybe the reality wouldn't have been as good as what was in your head anyway.

Although I'm a bit aghast at some of the 'don't ask him out comments' (if he was single obvs) there is absolutely no harm in asking a guy out, I texted a guy asking if he wanted to meet in town, he did and he's now my boyfriend.

livefornaps · 05/04/2018 12:35

Ugh. What a sleazer

HipsterAssassin · 05/04/2018 12:43

Grim. Had all the hallmarks of a sleaze ball.

Still - you’ve come out of this with a new pair of jeans and your dignity in tact!

And your sleaze radar honed.

Result.

halfwitpicker · 05/04/2018 12:47

Next!

Original poster
Userwho · 05/04/2018 16:53

Sleaze radar honed - exactly! Not a bad thing!

OP posts:
DrMorbius · 05/04/2018 17:24

He just complimented how I look and said he can appreciate a woman who looks good while looking me up and down

Where's the harm in that, he was just being a bit more forthright. Hmm

Original poster
Userwho · 05/04/2018 17:38

Because he's not single drmorbius.
Anyway I made sure we left on friendly terms as I have to work with him again at the end of this month. Ever the professional!

OP posts:
ItLooksABitOff · 05/04/2018 19:30

BUGGER

sorry OP

Original poster
Userwho · 05/04/2018 20:15

He is texting again...I am ignoring for now but it's so hard Sad

OP posts:
PennyDreadfull · 05/04/2018 20:56

Can't you just ask him if he's definitely in a relationship or not? I would. How do you know that this colleague is giving you accurate /honest info?

Usernom1234567890 · 05/04/2018 20:59

^
What PennyDreadful said.

UnaMagdalena · 05/04/2018 21:03

I agree with hOllow.

Diall back on the flirting. Tell him can't chat, off out, x

UnaMagdalena · 05/04/2018 21:05

Ah. he's not single.

Maybe just as well.

Belliniteeny · 05/04/2018 21:06

Yes, you gotta ask him at this stage. It's only fair on you and him to do so. You can even be casual, say X mentioned you had a gf abroad and do you get to visit much?

halfwitpicker · 05/04/2018 21:12

Maybe he is actually single? Crossed wires?

halfwitpicker · 05/04/2018 21:13

As bellin said : ask him about the Gf abroad

GaryBaldyBiscuit · 05/04/2018 21:16

I’d just be honest to a certain extent, text something like
‘I enjoyed having a bit of banter but that’s when I thought you were single, x said you have a girlfriend so it now feels like a bit of an inappropriate friendship so I just want to reel it back in a bit to professional work mates, I’m sure you understand.’

MrsSchadenfreude · 05/04/2018 21:24

Ask him about the GF!

loveyoutothemoon · 05/04/2018 21:27

Just ask him!