Hi, I'm new so apologies if this is in the wrong place.
Basically, myself and my partner of almost 18 months have been thinking about marriage. Although this should be a happy and exciting time, we're unable to think seriously about it until we're both confident that we have the right processes in place... i.e. a prenup. My partner earns approx. £80k and is 34, has a lot of assets whereas I have very little. I have an ok job (around £20k and I'm 25) that doesn't pay loads, but I get by and we have both agreed it is ideal for when we have children as it's 'safe' and has good benefits.
I am more than happy to sign a prenup that will protect his assets - his house, car, savings and most importantly his company. These are all things he has done for himself before we even met, I have not earned them nor do I deserve or want them. What worries me is he seems to think this attitude should continue after marriage - that property, savings etc should remain his as 'he' will be buying them and that most likely our finances would be completely separate. He's very wishy washy on what he believes I would deserve if we marry and I give up work to become a mother to his kids and a glorified housekeeper.
I gave him a scenario that if we (or HE as he sees it) acquire £300k of assets over a 15 year marriage and have 2 kids, what would he see as a fair settlement and he couldn't answer. I said all I care about is knowing that if I have his children I will be able to put a roof over their heads and he said he doesn't see why he should give me a house in the case of divorce.
The whole thing is very unromantic, and I'm starting to see that perhaps he will always see his money as his money, no matter how much I sacrifice and the effort I put into him/us/our family. I'm very good to him, I give him all my time, I buy all the groceries and cook for him daily despite still living separately, and he knows I'll take care of him always, I often feel like he takes this for granted.
Am I being unreasonable here? I always thought a marriage was an equal partnership. If my parents had got divorced I'm certain my Dad wouldn't have dreamed of giving my Mum anything less than 50/50 despite the fact he technically 'paid' for the house, cars etc.
Please let me know your thoughts, as this is causing me a lot of heartache... I love him very much but I can't help but wonder if I want to be with a man who puts money above the ones he loves. He also has 2 children from a previous relationship that he doesn't pay enough for IMO.
I am not a gold digger, although I'm sure some will say I am. I have no interest in his existing assets and if he is made bankrupt tomorrow I'd still love him exactly the same. I'm simply concerned that if we marry, he'll makes his fortune, he'll leave me with a couple of kids and I'll be left with absolutely nothing.