Literally just saw a text on DH phone from my best friend saying lumu :(

[autismmumwithafamily]

What do I do.
Standing in the kitchen waiting for the kettle and my husbands phone beeps. It's a delayed text from midnight. It's from my best friend. It says 'nite gorgeous lumu'
I am stunned and my heart is going like the clappers. We have 4 children. She has been on family holidays with us, my children call her auntie. My marriage is not great but mainly because he's been foul to me recently. I can't even cry.

Is there any chance you can see if there are other messages?

what does lumu mean?

Love you miss you?

Is Lumu love you, miss you?

Yes, what lumu means?

And you didn’t say anything

It means love u miss u.

Oh Hell op, try not to say anything for now whilst you do some digging.

So sorry OP :(

Doesn't sound good. Is there any chance she could have sent it to the wrong contact? Can you check for other messages?

If it is love you, miss you, then oh dear god you poor thing. Kick the bastard out.

He is foul to you as he wants you to call time on the relationship first. Then you break up and he ends up with her "guilt free". Tell him to grow a backbone.

Oh no. Firstly, deal with the shock. Tea, sit down, inane tv show.
All the rest can be dealt with after you are calm. Mumsnet will walk you through every step.
Xx

would it have been tongue in cheek?

Pretend to be calm & gather information

would you text her dh, if she has one, similar?

Okay, I wouldn’t pussyfoot around it. I will send the kids to school, ask the husband to ring work saying he is going to be late and have a long chat with him (just ask what is going on between him and her, shut your mouth and let him talk, if you stay quiet long enough he will trip himself and tell you the truth)

I’m sorry this is happening but if she has a husband forward the link to him now. If she has a big problem in her own house, she won’t have time to confabulate with your husband to find a good excuse to the behaviour, cover the tracks and continue as if nothing has happened.

Has he seen the message yet? His reaction will tell you a lot! Are there previous messages between them or a suspicious absence? If I looked at my husband's phone for messages to my friends it would be two or three 'happy birthday' or' thanks for my birthday/ Christmas present' type ones.

Is there any chance at all of a wrong number? Is her partner away and he has the same first name as your DH or something? If not, I’m really sorry. This would be a dealbreaker for me, I couldn’t live with that level of betrayal.

I'd be hiding his phone to see if anything else comes through !!

Just send an exact copy of the text and get the popcorn out. She will shit herself. Sorry you are dealing with this

And the same to him at the exact same time

Get the kids to school forest. Don't do anything yet. I'm sorry OP. Did you have any other suspicions before today!

Thankyou for answering its so nice to not feel alone. I know i need to get the kids to school and that's what I'm focusing on. He's not working today. All other texts to her are deleted, unlike anything else from anyone else in his phone...she's the person I would ring in this horrible situation :(

Get a photo of the message on your phone before you do anything. You need evidence if you're going to confront him at some point and it isn't guaranteed the original will still be there. If you screenshot you'll need to unlock his phone and the message will not be on the lock screen anymore so it will tip him off you've seen it.

Find out as much as you can before you do anything. Stay strong. I'm so sorry this has happened

Take a picture on your phone and screenshot it on his. I'm so sorry.