Literally just saw a text on DH phone from my best friend saying lumu :(

[autismmumwithafamily]

What do I do.
Standing in the kitchen waiting for the kettle and my husbands phone beeps. It's a delayed text from midnight. It's from my best friend. It says 'nite gorgeous lumu'
I am stunned and my heart is going like the clappers. We have 4 children. She has been on family holidays with us, my children call her auntie. My marriage is not great but mainly because he's been foul to me recently. I can't even cry.

Was just thinking what LongDistance said...

Gosh this does sound really bad. But could she have sent the text in error to your husband is she married seeing someone in particular someone with same intial as your DH. Secondly screenshotting it for evidence is an excellent idea as if it comes to confronting her or him you will see it in their eyes if they are lying. I'd be tempted to not say anything and try and dig some more.

Hopefully this is not what you think take care xxx

@longdistance is not a bad idea either. If there is no chance any other scenario possible.

Don't confront either of them just yet. You know what you saw...doesn't matter if you didn't take a photo of it. Just keep watching ...

Ring her and say 'He's told me everything now I want to hear what you've got to say for yourself.' You should be able to tell from her reaction if there's something going on.

He leaves his phone lying around when he's having an affair? Does that happen?

What does she need to keep watching for? She knows what she saw. I'm so sorry op.

You aren't in a position to confront H yet, OP. It's early days, and I know you must be feeling gutted, but to protect yourself and your dependents you must get a visit to a solicitor and important documents safely stored first. It's necessary because you may not have been thinking of separation but H surely has.

How shocking for you, I hope it is not what we think it is. Will be thinking of you today.

Yes, otherwise how do you think so many get caught? 🙄

Thankyou everyone, I am so sorry for the sad stories I am reading but glad there are some bright outcomes. My mind is flitting between giving him a bag, calling her, staying quiet..... she left her husband 2 years ago. She lived at ours for 6 months before she bought her own house and now lives with her pregnant grown up daughter. With regard to the late night texting, we have a disabled son and an autistic son, I go to bed really early (8ish) and get up when he goes to bed so he is on his own every evening. It was a text not a what's app and I wish I could get the deleted ones. She was with us on a family day out on Sunday having stayed over on Saturday night. I can't believe the brazenness. I think they will deny it, tell me I'm mad.

My husband left his phone on the bed next to me when he went for a shower, otherwise I’d have been oblivious!

Sorry you’re going through this op, I’m hoping she has sent it to the wrong person by mistake

Genuine question - do people really 'accidentally text' people without realising it? I know it was a thing at one point, where you created a text and then had to add the persons name in, but if she's texting 'goodnight gorgeous lumu' I'd think she'd have a conversation already existing in her phone with her partner that she would just open and reply to?

OP is her husband travelling? Because if not, and imagining for a minute that it is a mistake, who was it meant for?

No one would be confronting anyone with my plan. Op will get her answers quick by losing his phone and meeting friend with her ‘concerns’. All the messages, she can message back pretending to be dh.

X-post about her marriage. Has she told you she's seeing anyone?

Belinda I know what you mean about accidentally texting someone, but deleting their previous texts 🤔

She's been 'single' since her split

Oh goodness op I'm so sorry this is happening.

Will he be at home today? I'd be tempted to go out if he is. I don't think I could hide this from my face.

Have you got anyone you can talk to in rl?

You need to hunt for more proof and keep records of it first. I am sorry x

I'd be keeping hold of his phone and going out with it today. See what transpires.

What strikes me as unusual is that he has the text previews switched on on his phone. Usually people who are conducting an affair are very careful about this ... otherwise they'd be caught immediately.
Seems like there's more to this that we don't know.
Is your husband not normally very secretive with his phone?
You see, if he was having an affair, he'd be constantly expecting texts like this to come through...

Op I'm so sorry I've been there mine too was ironically while I was waiting for a brew.
What do you want to happen? Do you want to try move on with your husband or your friend?
Imo I would pack bags first ask questions later. Good luck

Is her phone password locked? I'd meet up with her and say my phone had died and grab hers saying "you've got Dps number I'll just text him and tell him we won't be long" see how she reacts. She won't have deleted their messages.

how do you know he has deleted her messages?
does he have a habit of deleting messages?

I think I might accidentally take his phone out with me when dropping the kids.