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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The cat is.out of the bag, just want to protect my DD

214 replies

niteandfog · 04/03/2018 11:47

For.thode who know.my story, everybody now knows about the affair. I know I'll get substantial amounts of name calling as expected, but my main worry is my DD. Although I still can't think of what they could do to her I just want to protect her from this fallout. I think I'll probably have to change her of school, but I guess it's sely days.

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 07/03/2018 07:30

Here's a little idea, why don't you leave the "AP" (voms) for a while and concentrate on your daughter and put as much thought into her and her feelings as much as you put into your own??

I mean you mention your daughter, but you do realise you have one right? As as usual you're only blabbering on about yourself

SparklyMagpie · 07/03/2018 07:33

Also agree with brewsandbooks, I would bet everything I own that your fancy man was shagging his ex.

To honestly convince yourself that he didn't because you both face timed is actually highly amusing,and shows even more how deluded you are

And FWIW, he ain't going to stick around hun Grin but hey, you can just come back on here and throw yourself one big mahoosive pity party can't you and then briefly mention your daughter being traumatised and it was everyone else's fault

Time for another brew

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 07/03/2018 07:37

Gotta hand it to the OP - she keep a coming back for more. Must be really thick skinned - or a secret masochist!

HairyBallTheorem · 07/03/2018 07:43

On a purely practical level here's what you do to limit the fallout for your daughter.

Leave her in her current school (when you talk about moving her, you're talking about your convenience in not being seen as the bad guy at the school gates, not her need to be near her friends).

If (and it is if, not when) she gets bullied, you get her father to help. Not to pass the buck or because it's easier, but because he is better placed. He is the one who can say to her "you say to those other kids 'I'm sorry that my mum's behaviour has caused you pain, but that was her behaviour not mine.'" He is the one best placed to go into school and raise the issue of bullying.

If course it will vary from school to school. In mine it would be a nine day's wonder among the handful of parents who actually knew you or him and noone else would give a shit.

Minus2 · 07/03/2018 07:50

Where is he now? Where does he live? You say he has left his wife but you give the impression you are not together.

Original poster
niteandfog · 07/03/2018 07:55

Thanks @HairyBallTheorem he’s actually in charge of most of school stuff as he know it’s a minefield for me. They tried to get him involved and he wouldn’t have any of that.

OP posts:
DotCottonDotCom · 07/03/2018 13:40

Why are so delusional to think your fancy man was not shagging his wife? WE TOLD YOU SO

And now his SIL is telling you so! WAKE UP!!!!

You seem to know the acronyms for infidelity roles so well , I dread to think what other infidelity support sites you've been on seeking for attention.

His wife has all the reasons to rip you to shreds, so quit complaining. You absolutely asked for this. Count your blessings, you have no idea what a betrayed woman is capable of.

PoorYorick · 07/03/2018 13:47

I don't think OP actually cares who he is or isn't sleeping with. She just likes feeling like the heroine of a drama.

I suspect that, despite anticipating becoming 'the talk of the town', very few people outside the immediate circle know or give a shit about this. When the Scarlet Woman character fails to give you enough drama, move on to the Stricken Mother. Hell, you've got to hit gold eventually.

What does worry me is that if enough drama is not forthcoming from this, she might use her daughter to generate more...by making her move schools or by involving her in Great Emotions that are not her responsibility. The beauty of this one is that it's largely never-ending when it comes to Stricken Mother. Any anger or hurt the daughter expresses becomes yet more fodder for Stricken Mother.

It's worrying.

AthenasOwl · 07/03/2018 13:50

I don't think OP actually cares who he is or isn't sleeping with. She just likes feeling like the heroine of a drama.

100% agree with this. She's been dying for this to happen.

bitzy12 · 07/03/2018 13:53

Why is school stuff such a minefield to you op? What exactly do you do for you daughter as her mother?

MiaowMix · 07/03/2018 14:21

Oh... is this the same poster who was snagging some random from her running club? Because he liked her on insta or sonething? 🙄
Or is he the alleged new partner?
Self absorbed load of old bollocks I feel. Look at me no don't look at me

Spottybotty14 · 07/03/2018 17:39

Your poor poor child... Sad

branstonbaby · 07/03/2018 19:37

You again?

Yawn

SallyVating · 08/03/2018 03:36

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