I'm 35 today I've realised my marriage is over

[mammymammyIRL]

Dh emotionally abuses me.
He shouted at me & shoved me in front of our four year old ds for the last time on Sunday morning.
I don't want my 7 year old dd growing up seeing her parents not getting along
I don't want them to think Daddy's getting cross with Mammy is normal or ok

I can't do the rest of my life living like this.

@aussiebean think you've posted on the wrong thread entirely

I'm ok MrsMozart

I discovered lumps on my shoulder last night, not sure if there were from being pressed up against coat hooks or if they're bites but I was a bit concerned about them but they seem to have almost disappeared this morning.

I've done my diary entry about last night and sent an email to my solicitor this morning. I slept with my carkeys under my pillow and woke a number of times but I'm ok.

I really have. So sorry.
Will report now.
for you op.

Can you see your GP, just for a check over. The incident would then also be logged with them.

I could I guess, going to women's resource centre & district court this afternoon and will see what they recommend.

Court on Friday for interim safety order

How has he been with you tonight?

I don't know what that will give you, but I hope you're okay.

He ignored me aggressively if that makes sense fluffy I was only home for 1.5 hours, he was only present for 30 mins. I couldn't find him when I'd to leave for a meeting, so I text & he came back.

Just home after 2 hours giving statement to guard. He was shocked at h's reaction to separation, bringing in dc and roaring at me to tell them what I was doing to this family. I'm hopeful that his superior will follow through with this but we'll only have to see what happens

Well done mammy for giving the statement. Silent aggression - I know what you mean

Can I join. Everything is fucked. Feeling so crap, don’t know how to get over this

@hanbam of course you can, there are a couple of other threads that are good too, maybe read them also

getting there slowly
support thread
feeling sad

I'm just surprised he thought the end of mediation was the end of the divorce process.

Just astonishingly naïve. All it means is that now you need more involvement from the courts.

I can only assume that's what he thought, he never raised the subject after storming out of mediation almost 3 weeks ago

I need to make a decision if I'll apply for barring order, meaning he has to leave the house or safety & protection where he can stay but not frighten me or assault me

I speak from experience.

i applied for the barring order, I got it then on appeal (and they all do according to the court clerk) he had it removed as long as he took an undertaking to stay away from me and the house. It's worth the paper it's written on FUCK ALL.

Barring orders are like gold dust, he was given the benefit of the doubt as he had been good for a whole 5 months between receiving the barring order and sitting for the appeal. Neglecting 10 years of abuse, because, well It's Ireland and we're married.

What I didn't know at the time is you can apply for both at the same time. Speak to FLAC and get as much advice as possible. Mine sat in front of a judge and denied everything, described me as a fantasist, only the fact that he had admitted it over text and i had doctors and guards reports contradicting him he would have gotten away with it.
please be careful, I've successed in pissing my STBexH off to the point I'm terrified of leaving my home with the kids, we're locked down tighter than fort knox every night. Having 'won' the appeal he feels he's untouchable. The courts are great but please don't leave yourself open to him felling he's got away with his disgusting behavior.

please stay safe, PM if you need any more info.

Please excuse the typos, I rushed that

Op get a barring order - he is abusive already I would be afraid it will escalate now that you are moving away from his control

The police will have to enforce a barring orider - call them each and every time he is abusive - log it and take every bit of help u can!

Can he stay in the house that he is doing up for his da - or did I get that mixed up with another thread

Ds -that should be

He could mum or he could stay with one or other of his children where they're living too

I am cataloguing everything now daphne18

You are doing so well op - better than you think -

Thanks everyone
I followed a thread here in beg of march where op separated from her h and it charted her journey and within two months she was free of him and a very different person to start of thread.
It gave me hope, hopefully in time I can read back on this thread & see progress

A year from now it will seem like a bad dream - you will be so far forward and so relieved.

I hope so, on another thread I'm on one mumsnetter is a year on & not much better off