I'm 35 today I've realised my marriage is over

[mammymammyIRL]

Dh emotionally abuses me.
He shouted at me & shoved me in front of our four year old ds for the last time on Sunday morning.
I don't want my 7 year old dd growing up seeing her parents not getting along
I don't want them to think Daddy's getting cross with Mammy is normal or ok

I can't do the rest of my life living like this.

He actually passed out the house because he didn't expect it to be ours.

I hope so. He's been well warned by guard.

Need to contact my solicitor in the morning and hopefully get safety order at court on Wednesday.

Sensible plan. Are there any other adults in the house?

Yes au pair is here fluffy thanks

My chest hurts so much where he pushed me and restrained me against a wall. Not enough for medical attention just tender.

They didn't arrest him?

i'm so sorry, you didn't deserve that.

No they can't do that until I have a safety order in place.

Dd wanted to know if everything was back to normal with me & daddy and what did I talk to Garda about

Oh mammy. You did the right thing calling the Gardi. I'm sorry you are hurt. YY to get a safety order as soon as you can. How soon can you get the fuck out?

I'm not surprised.

What at utter let down of a man.

I've honestly no idea when I can get out life

The guard said something similar too that I'm doing everything the right way & he's harming himself & his case for separation too & that I can summon the guard as witness to my separation case too.

I've just read your full thread. My heart is breaking for you at the moment. Why doesn't he do you all a favour and just f**k off and leave you all alone.

I hope you get sorted soon enough so you and your children can enjoy your lives away from this SOB

Thinking of you xxxx

Oh mammy love I'm so sorry.
You are definitely doing the right thing, keep being honest with your DCs, (obviously in an age appropriate way), they will thank you later on.

#rememberwhoyouare

@mummysharkdododododo that means a lot that you along with everyone else who's posted here has given up their time to read my thread.

My dm told me today that leaving out solicitors letter before I went away for the night was sneaky.

Oh wow OP you are amazing. Is there an option to take yourselves and DC to a hotel?

ohdear could be putting it on cc but have plenty who've offered safe houses over past few months but it's not fair to dc to take them from their home. If I get safety order by Wednesday I'll be safer.

Hope you can get the safety order quickly but he will be at his most volatile now. Take care and if it escalates get out. Better safe than sorry. Hope things can get sorted soon and you can be in a loving safe home with your children.

You are doing so so well op 💐💐💐

Thinking of you Mammy

Cross posted curvy
Thanks to everyone for posting tonight.

Hope you're ok now, mammy. Taking the children away for one or via two nights if you need to isn't taking them out of their home, it's just being sensible. Your DM had no business saying that to you about the letter. Don't put up with any shit.

Is the au pair there all the time? Does he shout (and/or push you) in front of the au pair?

Just really hope you're ok. He's very volatile if he's not able to keep calm in front of the guards.

Your dm doesn't live there mammy. You gave him chance to read the letter without putting yourself in the firing line.

Keep getting the evidence. Good luck today with a solicitor

I said that to my dm, plus letter was there all day fri and he could've retrieved the post then but didn't so I took opportunity not to have my night away ruined by a violent outburst.
My sister & my friend said to me sure the letter won't be a surprise after mediation ending but I knew it would because he thought he'd got the upper hand and that would be end of separation talk.

He would shout at me when au pair is in the house and push/shove or threaten me but he wouldn't start when she'd be in the room.

Must email myself today what happened last night, kind of like an online diary.

He's got my mother fooled to some degree too although she did witness his anger about 5 years ago but she chose to lock it away in her brain.

Mothers do be in denial sometimes! My DM feels sorry for all the men as life is so hard for them...

I wonder what the au pair makes of the shouting. It must be very uncomfortable. I hope you slept ok. You won't know yourself when you're not living in the same house as him, all that tension will be gone.

How you doing this morning lass?