Is he being a dick or am I?

[Jaffacakesaremyfave]

I've been with my DP since October so still relatively new relationship. Recently he has been doing/saying things that have really upset me and I don't know whether it's because the initial thrill of a new relationship has worn off or whether he's just a dick and I've only just realised.

It could also be me that's being too harsh and having expectations that are too high as I've never been in a 'good' relationship so my perspective might be skewed.

A few examples are:

1. He calls me a 'diva' all the time, I just think I have strong boundaries.

1. Last weekend for Valentine's he took me to a hotel where the check in lady at the desk announced loudly that he's been before and it turns out he took a FWB there last year. I've never been taken away before and so wanted it to be special but it was so unoriginal to take me there and then comment how much nicer his room was last time (4 poster bed etc). He's also mentioned that he thought about buying flowers and sending them to my work as 'women love all that'. It just makes me feel like he thinks he has this generic formula that works on all women and that I'm not special to him.

1. I spent hours last night cooking a meal for Valentine's (which he knew about) and then said he wasn't hungry when he arrived as he had a late lunch (the ingredients were hard to source as it was a special dish). He showed up with generic flowers and chocolates from the coop on his way over despite him asking me what I wanted and me telling him. I gave him thoughtful, personal gifts. He proceeded to watch football as soon as he arrived at my house last night on his phone and ignore me (we only see each other once a week). This put me in a bad mood and he said I 'need to get laid' 😡

1. He talks about his ex but gets upset if I do the same.

1. Has a chip on his shoulder about my career and says stuff like .MSc's are pointless (I have one, he doesnt) and that I 'only have one publication' (he has none).

1. Says he wants me to talk about things with him before they become issues but if I do try and talk he says 'oh here we go'

1. I bought him a fitbit for Xmas and he didn't say thank you, just said he didn't need one and I could have it.

1. Won't talk to me about his intermittent ED, won't go down on me even though he likes me doing it to him.

1. Constantly plays on his phone so I have conversations with the back of his head while he grunts a response. He's awful on the phone and it's awkward talking to him so I rarely call. He doesn't text much either.

These are just a few examples of things that are irritating me but I'm not sure if it's enough to end the relationship. I have been labelled by my family as 'difficult' all of my life and have anxiety which makes it difficult to know whether I'm being a dick or whether we are just not compatible. He obviously does have good points and breaking up would upset me but more because I don't want another failed relationship. I was really hoping this one was going somewhere.

I feel like he has had enough of me too and is just biding his time until someone better comes along.

It shouldn't be this hard so early on right?:

No, it really shouldn’t be this hard! He sounds awful. Please let him go & find someone that deserves you!

TBF it just sounds like he annoys you. Only been together a few months too.. I would end it.

It really is him not you. You deserve so much better

He sounds like a massive dick. Doesn't sound at all an enjoyable relationship to me. This would all annoy the shit out of me. LTB

I've never been in a 'good' relationship

I'm sorry to say this but you still aren't. You can do much, much better than this poor excuse for a man.

Sorry, this had paragraphs when I typed it. I forgot to mention that when I said he'd upset me last night he said 'sorry I can't meet your expectations' which wasn't really an apology

Hes a dick who puts you down to stroke his own ego i wouldnt want to carry on in a relationship with someone like that , it will only get worse as the early days are supposed to be when they are trying to impress

Sorry but he sounds awful. Selfish, arrogant and at the same time quite insecure. This early on I would get rid, he will only get worse and you can do better.

Nope. Life’s too damn short for all that shit...less than 6 months in.

Not worth carrying on with someone who’s clearly not that in to you.

Time to move on I’m afraid.

Bin him. He's a dick.

I don’t think it matters who is being a dick or whatever. It sounds like this relationship has run its course.

Let him bide his time with someone else instead, and save yourself all the hard work.

Sorry Jaffa but do you really need to ask?
'I need to get laid'? Seriously. How did you not laugh in his face and chuck him out?
C'mon, I'm sure you can do better.

He’s not the worst man in the world but he’s far from great!

I don’t think you’re being a diva to want him to put in a little more effort.

I think you’re incompatible, sorry

You deserve so much better than this man who treats you terribly.
Leave him.

I would be dumping him for almost everything on your list. I think there's a reason he is single and the reason is that he is thoughtless and selfish.

You only see him once a week as well ? He IS a dick and it sounds like you are a fill in. Dump him.

He's a knob

Definitely get rid. Life's too short and he'll only get worse.

Nah it's not you, he's a selfish dick, get rid, life's to short to put up with crap like that, quite honestly I'd prefer to be single!!

Nope, he's a dick. Bin him! You can do much better!

He's a dick. Move on OP!

and his good points are ?

dump and don't look back. Any one of those things would be an issue, all together ? whats the point!

Sounds like a knobber!! The fact the hotel receptionist announced he'd been there before also makes me think that they think he's a knob too x

Definitely not you. Relationships should make you happy not like this. ... especially as it's still new-ish .
He sounds very insecure and a bit of a misogynist tbh