I've been with my DP since October so still relatively new relationship. Recently he has been doing/saying things that have really upset me and I don't know whether it's because the initial thrill of a new relationship has worn off or whether he's just a dick and I've only just realised.
It could also be me that's being too harsh and having expectations that are too high as I've never been in a 'good' relationship so my perspective might be skewed.
A few examples are:
- He calls me a 'diva' all the time, I just think I have strong boundaries.
- Last weekend for Valentine's he took me to a hotel where the check in lady at the desk announced loudly that he's been before and it turns out he took a FWB there last year. I've never been taken away before and so wanted it to be special but it was so unoriginal to take me there and then comment how much nicer his room was last time (4 poster bed etc). He's also mentioned that he thought about buying flowers and sending them to my work as 'women love all that'. It just makes me feel like he thinks he has this generic formula that works on all women and that I'm not special to him.
- I spent hours last night cooking a meal for Valentine's (which he knew about) and then said he wasn't hungry when he arrived as he had a late lunch (the ingredients were hard to source as it was a special dish). He showed up with generic flowers and chocolates from the coop on his way over despite him asking me what I wanted and me telling him. I gave him thoughtful, personal gifts. He proceeded to watch football as soon as he arrived at my house last night on his phone and ignore me (we only see each other once a week). This put me in a bad mood and he said I 'need to get laid' 😡
- He talks about his ex but gets upset if I do the same.
- Has a chip on his shoulder about my career and says stuff like .MSc's are pointless (I have one, he doesnt) and that I 'only have one publication' (he has none).
- Says he wants me to talk about things with him before they become issues but if I do try and talk he says 'oh here we go'
- I bought him a fitbit for Xmas and he didn't say thank you, just said he didn't need one and I could have it.
- Won't talk to me about his intermittent ED, won't go down on me even though he likes me doing it to him.
- Constantly plays on his phone so I have conversations with the back of his head while he grunts a response. He's awful on the phone and it's awkward talking to him so I rarely call. He doesn't text much either.
These are just a few examples of things that are irritating me but I'm not sure if it's enough to end the relationship. I have been labelled by my family as 'difficult' all of my life and have anxiety which makes it difficult to know whether I'm being a dick or whether we are just not compatible. He obviously does have good points and breaking up would upset me but more because I don't want another failed relationship. I was really hoping this one was going somewhere.
I feel like he has had enough of me too and is just biding his time until someone better comes along.
It shouldn't be this hard so early on right?: