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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Other woman

244 replies

Lucky6266 · 08/02/2018 19:12

Please don't judge me but I'm involved with a man who has a wife and kids abroad.
Wife and kids know about us and gave given blessing as it's allowed in thier culture. We all talk on Skype. My guy says he loves me alot.
He is very committed to his family sends money to them etc but also appears committed to me. Am I doing wrong pls.
I know I'm probably gonna be slated.

OP posts:
category12 · 08/02/2018 19:19

Hmm If they're genuinely OK with it, then no you're doing anything wrong.

Although I presume his intentions are to go back home to live with his family again at some point, so where will that leave you?

category12 · 08/02/2018 19:19

not

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 08/02/2018 19:21

He doesn't want to go back and wife has told him to stay with me

OP posts:
Happydoingitjusttheonce · 08/02/2018 19:22

Could it be you’ve done the wife a favour taking this guy off her hands?

MadMags · 08/02/2018 19:23

Yeah, alright. 🙄🙄🙄

AnyFucker · 08/02/2018 19:24

The wife is probably doing a Happy Dance

How will you feel when he takes another loverrrr ?

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 08/02/2018 19:25

He said he won't

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucky6266 · 08/02/2018 19:26

Okay I only have his word for it

OP posts:
Happydoingitjusttheonce · 08/02/2018 19:29

You need to ask why she’s encouraging him to stay with you.

AnyFucker · 08/02/2018 19:29

Well, he would say that, wouldn't he ?

I expect he did the same to his wife.

stardust18 · 08/02/2018 19:30

Do you think he said the same too his wife?

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 08/02/2018 19:30

@anyfucker spot on

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/02/2018 19:31

You don’t sound much like you care if it’s wrong as you’ve said how happy everyone is. What do you want people to say? Hmm

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 08/02/2018 19:31

Gut feeling is he is genuine abt me

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/02/2018 19:32

Sure he is

FissionChips · 08/02/2018 19:32

Why aren’t you asking? His wife is fine with it, he is, you are..what’s the problem? Do you want drama?

FissionChips · 08/02/2018 19:33

Are*

diddlemethis · 08/02/2018 19:35

Has his wife said to you she's ok with it, or is this information coming from him?

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 08/02/2018 19:38

I guess I'm trying to open up opinions

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucky6266 · 08/02/2018 19:39

Well if she isn't okay she hasn't given any idea on talking to me

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucky6266 · 08/02/2018 19:40

I certainly don't want this thread to go like many I see

OP posts:
MadMags · 08/02/2018 19:43

Why do you want/care about anyone else’s opinion?

You seem well versed in threads like this.

If I was cynical I’d say you were trying to start a bun fight, or possibly land yourself in the Fail...

RaininSummer · 08/02/2018 19:43

I expect she is happy so long as he keeps sending money and she is not shamed if it is allowed in their culture.

FissionChips · 08/02/2018 19:48

Well, do you think YOU can live a happy life, perhaps children, with this man? I take it you can’t marry as he already is?

I’ve known many a first wife who’s husband got a second, third etc and none of them have ever really been happy with the situation, some have ended up suicidal . Would you like that to be done to you?

AnyFucker · 08/02/2018 19:50

What bollox

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