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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Just discovered OH is with someone else

659 replies

Fosterdog123 · 07/01/2018 19:04

Been together 12 years. Last 2 years have been tough - last 12 months particularly so but we were limping on. My gut instinct made me go digging. He is with a 20-something beautiful young woman. He's a walking fucking cliche. My knees are like jelly and I feel sick to the pit of my stomach. I want nothing more to do with him but I feel like I've been dropped into a surreal dream/nightmare. I have lost so much recently and this is the final blow.

OP posts:
ChickenMom · 07/01/2018 19:05

What’s your situation? Are you married? DC? Living together? Don’t let on you know until you’ve decided what you want to do and got all of your financial stuff in order

Original poster
Fosterdog123 · 07/01/2018 19:17

Don't need to get financial stuff in order. We're not married. He's very wealthy, very good looking, extremely successful and she's welcome to the cold fucking heartless twat.

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 07/01/2018 19:30

Righteous anger! Excellent. New year, new you. Good luck.

Ohyesiam · 07/01/2018 19:57

Best of luck op, so sorry to hear this.
Hope you get b through the next few weeks ok, then you will be free to live the life you want.

GameChanger01 · 07/01/2018 20:00

Sorry to hear it... FWIW he sounds like the type that's difficult to pin down. New relationship is probably just him wanting something "new" for time being... best to have it out and stand your ground with whatever you decide to do (hopefully LTB)

CharizMa · 07/01/2018 20:03

I hope you're ok for somewhere to live. It's easier to walk away when you're not married.

trevthecat · 07/01/2018 20:09

What a f'in prick. Hope your ok and have support around you

Original poster
Fosterdog123 · 07/01/2018 21:10

There's is no going back. I have found pictures of them together, out in public, with his friends. He's a lying, cheating prick. There is no going back. It's done. I feel like jelly and it doesn't feel real but sadly, it is. She is a fucking model ffs and looks like his daughter in the pictures. I am just another cast-aside middle aged woman who has been traded in for a younger model.

OP posts:
BackInTheRoom · 07/01/2018 21:28

How old are you both?

Original poster
Fosterdog123 · 07/01/2018 21:50

46

OP posts:
userxx · 07/01/2018 21:53

Have you somewhere to go? Leave him and don't look back. The cliched twat.

Cbaanymore123 · 07/01/2018 21:53

Is this the plot of Doctor foster ?

marywasneeavirgin · 07/01/2018 22:00

Oh no, sending 💐. Here to listen if you want to vent x

letsdolunch321 · 07/01/2018 22:03

What a wank stain !!!

Original poster
Fosterdog123 · 07/01/2018 22:06

The plot of dr foster???? No, it's my fucking life. It's a well trodden path but it hurts like fuck. I have my own house, so I'm not in a difficult position in that regard but the humiliation and pain of seeing photos of him with this woman is awful.

OP posts:
BackInTheRoom · 07/01/2018 22:07

@Fosterdog123

Ah yes, the younger model! As I always say, couldn't they have been more creative! So fecking cliche!

Well he'll be ok for a few years but the age gap will start to become glaringly obvious!

MLC, very sad but also very unpredictable. OP I'm so sorry you're going through this. I did too, it's shit. 💐

BackInTheRoom · 07/01/2018 22:08

*predictable even!

Gemini69 · 07/01/2018 22:52

Lady stop looking at the photos... be kind to yourself and fuck him Flowers

Original poster
Fosterdog123 · 07/01/2018 23:48

I can tell stop looking at the pictures. It's torturous but I can't stop right now. She is young, off the scale beautiful, foreign, a model, sexy, the whole package (as was I once upon a time). Working out dates, he was texting me whilst he was with her. Why bother. Why not just crack on with your new woman. Why didn't he just break things off with me long ago when our relationship was dying a slow death. It would have been so easy.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fosterdog123 · 07/01/2018 23:50

#I can't stop looking at the pictures

OP posts:
MistressDeeCee · 08/01/2018 01:48

Try to stop looking OP. Looks arent everything, she'll likely trade him in for a younger successful man anyway. Or take him for a mug in some other way. Get away from his shallowness, and live

Isetan · 08/01/2018 06:53

What she looks like says nothing about you and your worthiness, it’s not a competition. His behaviour says a lot about his character and as much as this stings, this is an opportunity, to do something you should have done long ago, which is to stop hiding in a relationship that was dying a slow death.

Grieve, get angry, wallow a little but ultimately, let the betrayal be a catalyst for the ending of the half life that you’ve been living.

BackInTheRoom · 08/01/2018 06:57

Maybe your relationship was dying a slow death because his attention was already directed at her? So she was the cause?

Runninglateeveryday · 08/01/2018 07:12

Eeergghhhh what a disgusting creature he is, how olds his daughter? What's he said?

sandytune · 08/01/2018 07:25

Bloody, cheating men! Should have at least had the guts to end your relationship first if you weren't happy. He seems like the man who will never be happy.