Just discovered OH is with someone else

[Fosterdog123]

Been together 12 years. Last 2 years have been tough - last 12 months particularly so but we were limping on. My gut instinct made me go digging. He is with a 20-something beautiful young woman. He's a walking fucking cliche. My knees are like jelly and I feel sick to the pit of my stomach. I want nothing more to do with him but I feel like I've been dropped into a surreal dream/nightmare. I have lost so much recently and this is the final blow.

Well, he's just text me. The fucking stone cold weirdo. Still absolutely no reference whatsoever to it. Wow. Just wow. He's literally just said, "I'm assuming we're not talking then so I wish you all the best as I know how stubborn you are". The nerve of the prick.

I know I’ve advocated no response but I think I’d be tempted to reply to that, maybe just with her name. Then block him.

Oh god no, if he knows you know, then don’t respond!

I probably wouldn't message him back, as no response will drive him mad.
You sound great OP, absolutely his loss.

Wow...What a Cunt...you deserve so much better than this.

I'm now actually tempted to respond and say, and I wish you and x all the best too' but I'm going to sleep on it and decide tomorrow. Too late to make a wise decision. I just can't believe his behaviour.

Nope don’t be tempted to respond. Just ignore. That text was a prod to see how you would react. Ignore him... ignoring will make you feel like you have some control over the situation. As soon as you text back you have lost that. I was in a situation years ago with a similar type of person who was pretty cold when ditching me (we lived together). I move out of his life fast, ignored him as much as I could, moved on (while dying on the inside)...but to this day I feel I walked away with my dignity in tact and feel good about how I handled it.

Dont respond at all. Ever. Ever. Ever.

She wont be with him for long.

What a prick, you're stronger than me - I'd have sent him the text.

Your reply should be calm: Just say this:

"I'm not stubborn, I just want to know what's been going on and why. I'm prepared to listen I just want you to be honest"

If he replies you might get some insight into why this has happened.

If he doesn't reply, you know you are in the right and you can move on with your head held high.

Don't respond. Ghost him. He deserves nothing.

But she’s not prepared to listen caro. Nor should she. Have you actually read the thread?

How do you know he knows OP?

That you know I mean.

Ew, I’m 22 and wouldn’t go fucking near a 46 year old man... it’d feel like my dad, or at least like he was a gross letch.

And @xCaro did you just liken op to a greasy spoon egg and chips and the OW to a Michelin meal. How fucking RUDE.

Also women are not food. They are not as basic as ‘egg and chips’ they have intellect, depth, humour ... what if the egg and chips told brilliant jokes and the Michelin meal only dull and uninformed diatribes about post-Cartesianism? Stupid metaphor.

Also @xCaro she’s not prepared to listen, doesn’t want to know what’s happened, and doesn’t want him back. What’s so hard about that to understand? OP doesn’t want a reconciliation...

You’re a stronger woman than me OP, I would have responded! I do think that you are right however and ignoring him will be the best way of sticking the knife in so to speak!

Yes ghost him it's the only way you can slightly dent his ego, head held high and march on out into your future, you'll feel better for biting your tongue and not typing on the screen in the long term. Stay strong

Don’t reply. I know this is your life and not a game, but at least retain that little bit or power for yourself. You’ll be glad you did, eventually.

He text you to get attention, clearly the OW isn't enough! Personally I wouldn't respond. Make him feel insignificant and ignored. Balls in your court now OP, chuck it over the cliff!

Cheating, gutless piece of shit. You are well rid of him.
[Flowers]

I'm sure the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you

Really? I'm sure he didn't and doesn't give a shit how the OP feels. I'm sure he's blocked her out completely and is totally caught up in his own gratification. What a load of nonsense you spout.

OP every time you check him out on social media, you're ripping the wound open and taking yourself back to the start of the healing process. Please stop xxx

DON'T RESPOND!

I had a similar situation, not quite so much money and glamours travel going on though, to say the least. He texted me similar to that and managed not to reply for two days and then I did. Three years on I still cringe when I think of it and wish so much I had just ignored him.

Nothing worse than being ignored...don't respond.

xCaro have you been in this situation before??

I cannot work out your replies as it's pretty damn clear from OP she wants nothing to do with him or wants him to be honest

Would I fuck continue a relationship after 12 years just because he was "tempted"! It's gone a little further than that don't you think? He doesn't give a shit

OP I wouldn't reply, tbh the "wish you all the best" was his get out clause to me, if that makes sense? He's basically ending it because you havnt spoken to him?? He's such a dick , I have no doubt he'll try crawling back but you're strong , you can do it x