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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dh has been having an affair. He get a home in an hour. Please keep me calm.

943 replies

youspinmerightround · 04/01/2018 21:12

Found emails and a receipt for flowers. The emails are just Facebook messenger notifications so I can't read what they say but he's addressed the flowers to "my love".

I'm in with the 3 dc. I'm going to be sick.

OP posts:
Accidentallyexisting · 04/01/2018 21:15

I’m sorry op that is crap. Do you think you could manage to keep it together to somehow read the Facebook messages / gather more evidence. What do you want to happen?

WasDoingFine · 04/01/2018 21:15

If you click on the email notification it might take you to the message

PasstheStarmix · 04/01/2018 21:15

What an awful shock for you. Could the flowers not be for you? Facebook messages could be innocent?

Bubblegumfan · 04/01/2018 21:15

Hand hold Op.
No idea what to say but didnt want to read move on.
Are the children asleep?

Original poster
youspinmerightround · 04/01/2018 21:16

I tried to get into the messages I don't know his password.

They're not for me her name and address was on the email receipt.

OP posts:
Original poster
youspinmerightround · 04/01/2018 21:17

The two youngest are but the oldest has just went to bed.

OP posts:
Annabelle4 · 04/01/2018 21:17

Does he know you know?

Don't tell him, or you'll give him an hour to come with some lame excuse

Flowers
rainbowlou · 04/01/2018 21:17

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, keep strong and keep talking here xxx

Original poster
youspinmerightround · 04/01/2018 21:17

No I haven't said to him.

OP posts:
Leckhamptonmummy · 04/01/2018 21:17

Shit. Hope you’re ok.

BumWad · 04/01/2018 21:18

I’m so sorry you are going through this.

What did the messages say?

You are 100% it’s an affair?

mustbemad17 · 04/01/2018 21:19

Bastard. Deep breaths, hard but try keep your cool. Do you know what you're going to say to him?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 04/01/2018 21:19

Can you hold your own until you can do a bit more digging? Go to bed before he gets home & pretend to be asleep?

It’s not a great idea to confront him until you have more proof as he’lol just deny it and you’ll be left not knowing 😕. I have NO faith in just ‘seeing his reaction’.

Saz1995 · 04/01/2018 21:19

Stay strong lovely,he doesn't deserve you or his children xx

Betsy86 · 04/01/2018 21:19

What a prick. Are you going to confront him tonight?

Accidentallyexisting · 04/01/2018 21:19

The password might be stored on his phone? Once you talk to him he will likely delete everything.

BrokenBattleDroid · 04/01/2018 21:20

Photograph what you've seen.

I'd also consider keeping quiet and gathering evidence before confronting. Nothing will send you mad more than KNOWING but him denying and suddenly seeming to lead and impeccable life.

Original poster
youspinmerightround · 04/01/2018 21:20

I have no idea what im going to say. It's not like I ever thought I'd be having this conversation. Let alone having one hour to compose myself.

OP posts:
SchnitzelVonKrumm · 04/01/2018 21:20

Do you know her?

ChristinaParsons · 04/01/2018 21:20

Go to bed. Feign a headache. Don’t let him know that you know yet

PasstheStarmix · 04/01/2018 21:20

So sorry, how awful. He will regret it big time.

Bubblegumfan · 04/01/2018 21:21

Agree with gathering more evidence. Take clear pics on your phone. I am so sorry OP, we are all here for you

Original poster
youspinmerightround · 04/01/2018 21:21

I can't. He will know something is up I can't hide my emotions.

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouse · 04/01/2018 21:21

Take screen shots or photos of what you have seen.

PasstheStarmix · 04/01/2018 21:21

Yes don't let him talk himself out of it. I agree with the others get evidence.