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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dh has been having an affair. He get a home in an hour. Please keep me calm.

943 replies

youspinmerightround · 04/01/2018 21:12

Found emails and a receipt for flowers. The emails are just Facebook messenger notifications so I can't read what they say but he's addressed the flowers to "my love".

I'm in with the 3 dc. I'm going to be sick.

OP posts:
youspinmerightround · 10/01/2018 21:20

Oh my a week ShockShockShock how the hell did that happen ?!

Not too good tonight. Felt really good after out talk today I'm now absolutely sure he never met up with her but I still feel like that's too big a betrayal in itself. But we got a lot out in the open and I did feel for the first time since it happened that there is a chance we may work through this.

But tonight I'm terrible, I had to hand the dcs over to him tonight and I'm heartbroken. I feel like I've ruined their lives. I know i haven't I know this isn't my fault. But I still cant help feel terrible. I'm in a state.

OP posts:
DarthNigel · 10/01/2018 21:23

It absolutely is not your fault.
And also, no ones life has been ruined. Even if the worst happens and you spilt up, you will all survive. It doesn't feel like it now, but you will. life might look different and it might feel worse for a bit, but then it will get better. Promise. You are stronger than you think, and kids are more resilient than we give them credit for some times.

MiddleClassProblem · 10/01/2018 21:26

Do the kids know what’s going on now?

It’s not your fault. The fact that you feel guilty shows what a loving mother you are. Tonight will be crap. Do you have anything to distract you? Movie? Box sets? A little food? x

youspinmerightround · 10/01/2018 21:34

I feel like absolute fucking shit.

The 12yo does she was a bit upset but once I spoke to her She settled down and I've been texting her and she seems fine. We've decided not to tell the 5yo yet he's so happy at grandas with daddy he's not noticed anything is different so I can't bring myself to do it.

OP posts:
BackInTheRoom · 10/01/2018 21:52

@youspinmerightround

If you're planning on staying together, have a look at the following:

Book:
His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B004HKIIBC/ref=cmswwrcppapi-KOvAbH6M8JXDD_

Videos by Dr Harley:

www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi1000_video.html

The authors website:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/index.htmll_

Book:_
The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0752837265/ref=cmm_swrrcpapii_aNOvAbVEK5Y7S

The Authors website:
www.gottman.com

And finally John Gottman talking about his work/research:

Google the Author(s) credentials

NoMudNoLotus · 10/01/2018 22:33

@Bibbidee I bought that book after my DHs affair 

@youspinmerightround ... My DC were very traumatised when my DH left - to the point where i have a child that vomited for a 24 hour period through sheer distress. Nothing will erase that memory but what i do know is that 4 years on i have 2 incredibly happy children well adjusted children.

Staying with someone after an affair often raises eyebrows because so many other women cant cope with the thought that another woman can work through infidelity and move forward with the same partner. It seems to go ahead peoples ideas of empowerment and strength.

What i can tell you is that what is truly empowering and courageous is making a decision that is right for you - either way.

I forgave my DH and we are still together - I am happy , do not regret that decision for a moment and i know that by heck he knows he is a very lucky man.

What i went through because of him at the time felt as though he had destroyed everything that was sacred to me. I lost a stupid amount of weight and also i am no stranger to loss it was the worst bereavement of my life.

But in my heart i knew that i loved him - I understood where the marriage had gone wrong to be able to understand how we had got in the mess that we had .

Convincing my family of that was understandably a totally different thing and they were initially very angry with my decision to allow him to move back in .

I was very boundaried with him and actually didnt allow him to move back in for a good while .

Such was the depth of the impact upon myself and the DC that i needed him to see that life could not resume as normal.

For a good 6 months i was an anxious wreck - an emotional wreck veering between anger and sadness that i would never be one of those women whose partners had been totally loyal .
And i was very firm with him that he had to be prepared to weather that storm with me and to be prepared that our sex life would take a long time to recover.

With time i gradually felt easier and while i do have wobbles every now and then , I do trust him - it has been worth it and i feel more confident and empowered than ever- because it was my decision to allow him back and on my terms . I didnt bury my head in the sand - i didnt ignore my instincts and like me you have been brave enough to tackle him head on about it .

Whatever you decide , make sure you are making the right decision for you , because i know if i had listened to everyone around me i would not be together with my husband in a happy marriage.

This will get better . Keep getting through one day at a time to the point where your head hits the pillow at night and get up the next morning and do the same.

Thinking of you ... my thought for you today is "I am woman - hear me roar".

BackInTheRoom · 10/01/2018 22:41

@NoMudNoLotus

Which book did you buy?

NoMudNoLotus · 10/01/2018 22:51

@Bibbidee the first one on your list - in fact its in my bedside drawer as we speak .

youspinmerightround · 10/01/2018 22:52

I just want to say again that I cannot even begin to express how greatful I am to you all. I genuinely don't know how I would have gotten through this without you all.

Also it's funny because I have been on mn for years but came off it there for ages and just recently came back on. Had I not came back on I may not have thought to post and therefore missed all this amazing support.

I am truly and forever grateful.

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 10/01/2018 23:23

This thread is filling up but we’re here if you need us. To vent to, to get advice, to hear options or just for sheer distraction. MN can be shit but more imposition can be wonderful too.

Just keep making sure you eat, even just tiny bits, and keep your fluids up.

There’s no rush to make decisions and no decision have to be set in stone. Don’t worry if you don’t know if you’re doing the right thing as there is no set right answer, only what you think is best Flowers

HannaSolo · 10/01/2018 23:37

Second what @MiddleClassProblem said Thanks

Bobbiepin · 10/01/2018 23:40

I've been reading but just wanted to echo PP. We're here for you, whatever the right choice is for you and your DC.

Waddlelikeapenguin · 11/01/2018 17:56

Just again because i know it can be hard to convince your brain;

It's not your fault
Flowers

Redguitar2 · 11/01/2018 20:28

Brave lady. This brings horrible memories whizzing back for me. I feel all your pain and dispair. You're doing an amazing job to carry on the way you are. Stay positive and allow yourself time to grieve and think what your next step will be. Wishing you all the luck in the world Flowers

AcrossthePond55 · 11/01/2018 23:16

But we got a lot out in the open and I did feel for the first time since it happened that there is a chance we may work through this

If you decide that you want to try to continue in your marriage, please don't do it on your own (you and DH). You really, really need the help and guidance of a marriage counselor to be sure that neither person is making concessions to the other to keep the marriage together. It's about rebuilding trust, making compromises, and most importantly, being true to yourself.

MrsMozart · 12/01/2018 10:02

Take it at the pace that's right for you lass. That will include a number of variables, which you will figure out and manage.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 12/01/2018 11:28

Just popping in to see how you are doing 💐

It’s good to have the support on here, I wish I had at the time. I don’t know if I would have done things differently or not (as I didn’t listen to people IRL). Sometimes, no matter what others say, you simply have to make your own decisions...and mistakes.

As I said earlier, I tried to ‘make it work’ afterwards, but I eventually walked away as it was turning me into someone I barely recognised. That period of time was worse than him doing what he did. Just awful. I’d never put myself through that again and I would encourage others not to either. It’s soul destroying. There are always one or two posters who say they stayed together and are glad they did. It’s rare, but occasionally possible, but the circumstances in which that can happen have to be right and mostly that’s down to the person who cheated. They have to take 100% of the responsibility, it doesn’t matter one bit what the relationship was like or anything else. They had the choice to speak to their partner about it, or try to get their needs met elsewhere. THEIR CHOICE. Until they realise that themselves, there is no ‘going forward’. Often the cheater will say ‘there was nothing wrong within the relationship’ and it was simply a matter of ‘opportunity’ and a belief they wouldn’t get caught. The ‘cheater’ has to work through their thoughts here, because otherwise what’s to stop them doing it again?

The one who cheated has to REALLY want the marriage and has to REALLY be prepared to do what it takes to build a new relationship. You can’t ‘go back’ to how It was, you can’t brush it under the rug and they can’t expect you to be ‘over this’ in 5 minutes. Very seldom does someone selfish enough to do what they have already done to hurt you, possess the qualities required to do what’s necessary.

Nomudnolotus has worked through it and is with her DH, but note how she got there, it was not by sweeping it under the rug and smoothing things over, but by starting over and having new boundaries and making it clear this wasn’t ‘business as usual’.

One thing to remember, if you decide to ‘try to make it work’, is that you can leave a relationship at any time. It’s never ‘too late’ to change your mind, it’s never a case of ‘no good reason to leave now’.

Eat. Drink. Sleep.

lydiangel83 · 14/01/2018 03:47

@youspinmerightround was just checking in to see how you are doing. Whatever you decide to do please remember what a strong and awesome woman you are who any man would be lucky to be with, including DH. All the best for you and your family, in whatever format that ends up taking x

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