Dh has been having an affair. He get a home in an hour. Please keep me calm.

[youspinmerightround]

Found emails and a receipt for flowers. The emails are just Facebook messenger notifications so I can't read what they say but he's addressed the flowers to "my love".

I'm in with the 3 dc. I'm going to be sick.

You poor thing. You must be devastated.

Is this enough evidence to nail him? Its easy for me to say i know, but as others have said,and if you can try and keep the lid on it, gather evidence,photograph evidence,irrefutable evidence. Unless hes feeling particularly bold, he will just produce an explanation and he will then be on guard.

Possibly clutching at straws here, but any chance he ordered them on behalf of someone else? Could it be he's doing a favour for a mate who's having an affair (still not great, I know)?

Be as cold as you can. Cold cold cold. You can break down afterwards. The icier you can be when you confront him, the better.

And I'd go with just the 'I know all about it.' Let him fluster and bluster, you'll know so much more from his reaction. If he does the whole 'what, what. I don't know what you're talking about', then you bring out the 'I just hope OW enjoyed her flowers'. That should stump him. Nasty little man.

I would definitely pretend to be unwell. Leave him a note. Go to bed. Gather more information/proof and tackle him tomorrow, preferably try for the children to be looked after somewhere else. I’m so sorry for you. X

There is no need to script a clever conversation- mumsnet tends to be full of ideas for what you should say.

All you need is to be up front. Look at what you have done, how could you?

Why would he be messaging someone his mate is having an affair with though?

Is the friend someone who would know? Or you could ask?

Try and summons the strength to get the kids all to sleep.

Can you plead a migraine and go to bed? You've been sick, you've got a good excuse not to be able to talk to him. I don't know if you should confront him with the kids there?

Have you tried the password change idea?

You need to try and keep in control

I wouldn’t bother making any chit chat. Just tell him what you’ve seen and go from there. Let him do the talking.

What a shit.

No wise words, but sending you a handhold lass.

FFS he's not sending flowers for his mate. He is having an affair. Do you have a number for her - could call her in front of him if he blusters?

I'm so sorry for you but I'm pleased you've found out and don't have to live a lie anymore. You will end up happier down the line and you'll get to watch him fall apart and he'll wish he had you back and had never done it I bet.

I would say "You've been having an affair" as a statement so its not something he would argue at. Instead of him calling your bluff he might say it is true. And then ask for his phone and look at his fb messenger, look at online phone bills, Look at emails. If he is reluctant to hand them over, that's pretty self explanatory.

Ok right if you are confronting him tonight we will be here keep talking.
Go to the bathroom wash ur face talk to yourself in the mirror and tell yourself hes a fucking idiot to do this to you.
I know the feelimg of being hurt so bad your sick its just awful, remember you are a strong woman who will not be messed with. Keep repeating this to yourself and talking to us until he arrives.
Make a drink.. go sit on the sofa and await his arrival. I wouldnt even speak as he comes in all i would say is ‘i know’ leave him to squirm.
So sorry op

You could contact the woman and have a nice little chat, chances are she doesn't know he's married.

Men really are from another planet. Cannot figure them out!!!
Mind you some girls have no loyalty to other women!

Tell him you know and that you'd like him to leave to give you some space
Spend tomorrow gathering passports, financial documents and anything else you need
Gather as much evidence as possible of the affair
Move money into an account in just your name and redirect any child benefit etc to an account he can't access
Get a friend/relative round, tell them so you have some real life support

I'm so sorry you're going through this, where did he tell you he was going this evening?

I don't want to change his password just yet. But I think I may hide the laptop in the bathroom then after I speak to him go in and change his password and read them then? Is that a stupid plan? I can't think straight.

Nothing at all useful to say, but I couldn't read and run. I'm so sorry this is happening to you xxxx

I'd have to confront him tonight, myself. I'd struggle to remain calm.

So sorry to hear this. The password change is a good idea via his email