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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

'D'H affair?!?

216 replies

thegrinchthatstolexmas · 28/12/2017 18:38

'D'H has a long term friend that lives abroad. He also runs quite a niche business that involves lots of travelling abroad for meetings predominantly on the country that she lives.

She speaks various languages and has been acting as a translator for some of the meetings.

A few weeks ago whilst play fighting 'D'H called me by her name and passed it off as a simple mistake as he had been with there the previous week.

He's become more and more secretive with his phone but today have it to our DC to play games on whilst he was falling asleep.

DC then handed me the phone to get out of a WhatsApp message as they couldnt work out how to do it.

The message was from 'd'H's friend a generic picture message outlaying that she had 'fallen for their late night chats, fallen for the way he makes her feel' etc

Followed by a message from him to her saying he was free (I was out) could he call.

Then a message saying he wasn't free anymore. All this whilst DC were at home in his care.

Am I reading too much into this?

OP posts:
Accidentallyexisting · 28/12/2017 21:01

Im sorry op his response doesn’t fill me with hope. Have you got anyone in real life that can support you at the moment? I hope you are ok. Men can be really really crap.

eloisesparkle · 28/12/2017 21:01

I agree Olgivy.
Why do women do it to other women ?
And that's not to excuse the married man.

Tinselistacky · 28/12/2017 21:04

He told her your marriage was also in trouble to imply he was semi available imo.He gave her the green light to fall for him and say so. He has shagged her I would bet money on. If he was innocent he would be fighting for you.

thegrinchthatstolexmas · 28/12/2017 21:05

How does what's detective work?

OP posts:
Accidentallyexisting · 28/12/2017 21:12

Haven’t used that but you can access safari version of whatsapp google “whatsapp on iPad” and it will show you how to do it.....you get a copy of his messages and I think any updated ones. Don’t log out though because you need his phone to activate it as you need to scan the qr code in his WhatsApp settings then WhatsApp desktop

Accidentallyexisting · 28/12/2017 21:15

If he is worried he may have blocked her number for this evening on his WhatsApp. You can check for blocked contacts in WhatsApp too under account, privacy, blocked

thegrinchthatstolexmas · 28/12/2017 21:15

He has his phone now, he's gone out so not much chance of me being able to get hold of it anytime soon

OP posts:
Appleandcinnamon · 28/12/2017 21:16

What’s detective just sends you information on when they were active on whatsapp not what they have been sending

GertieMotherwell · 28/12/2017 21:16

He’s gone out with his phone?

Accidentallyexisting · 28/12/2017 21:17

You could also delete his WhatsApp on his phone and restore from backup when you re install it might be messages on there that he has deleted.....you need to get hold of his phone for all of this though

Appleandcinnamon · 28/12/2017 21:17

How have you ended it? Has he left after a row?

Are you ok? Well I know you’re not but you get me

Ryder63 · 28/12/2017 21:17

He's gone out, leaving this hanging over you? Nice.

Accidentallyexisting · 28/12/2017 21:20

Do you have access to work emails? Check deleted message folder and recover deleted items?

Colabottle10 · 28/12/2017 21:21

Whilst he’s out you need to gather all paperwork pertaining to bank accounts, mortgage, birth certificates and passports.

Change any and all passwords to anything he has access too including online banking.

Controversial but I’d be hacking his emails and social media accounts.

Accidentallyexisting · 28/12/2017 21:21

Can you call a friend in real life op?

Gemini69 · 28/12/2017 21:24

He's gone out to call HER.....

right....

what a DICK

thegrinchthatstolexmas · 28/12/2017 21:25

I have all the online banking details on my phone anyway he's never had access to this. I also have all of the company account details. Work emails all come directly to both of us so no messages on their. I tho k it's all been done through WhatsApp and phone calls.
He asked me what I wanted to do and I answered that I didn't know so he's gone for a walk Hmm

OP posts:
CharlieBoo · 28/12/2017 21:26

What rainbowmother said

He will def be calling her...

Is there anyone you can call op?

dreamingofprairies · 28/12/2017 21:27

walk = calling her

RebeccaBunch · 28/12/2017 21:29

Wow he goes straight out to call her. So sorry OP Thanks

ijustwannadance · 28/12/2017 21:29

I agree with Gemini69, he's gone out to phone her to tell her the shit has hit the fan or to keep her mouth shut.

Sorry op.

DarkNightDelight · 28/12/2017 21:29

Omg he's left to call her. Offering to leave is as good as being guilty. He's hiding stuff from you and you know it.
He's now calling, blocking, deleting everything.
You should of rang her before he rang her.

Chocolate254 · 28/12/2017 21:30

Yes I totally think he is calling her too, Probably trying to get his story straight with her.

Accidentallyexisting · 28/12/2017 21:39

You can still restore from back up on what’s app even if he has deleted things op.....I would guess he is coming up with a plan with OW I would be tempted to double lock the front door leaving the keys in and go to bed

Thebluedog · 28/12/2017 21:41

I’m sorry op but he’s gone out to call her and to get their story straight before talking to you

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