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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

something bad just happened

247 replies

frozenbaubles · 21/12/2017 19:31

My husband has just drew his hand back into a fist as if to punch me. He didn't, he moved away, but I am holding my 7 month old daughter. This has never happened before.

OP posts:
Original poster
frozenbaubles · 21/12/2017 19:32

I'm a regular mumsnet user but have name changed for this one.

OP posts:
CrazyBaubles · 21/12/2017 19:36

Can you leave for tonight, taking dc with you? Or will he? Before you do anything / go into shock and stop reacting at all, I would say you need space away from him.

I'm so sorry OP, what a horrible shock Thanks

Mishappening · 21/12/2017 19:37

Something bad indeed - this needs sorting in the cool light of day.

FuckFaulkerILikeTheGruffalo · 21/12/2017 19:37

Can you leave the house and go elsewhere? Your mums or somewhere like that? It'll give you safety, clarity and show him you won't put up with it.

I'm sure you really got a shock Flowers Does he have form for other aggressive behaviour? What would he say but its bollocks as there is no excuse triggered it, a row?

PaperBagPrincesa · 21/12/2017 19:40

How threatening and abusive. :-(

MadeForThis · 21/12/2017 19:54

One of you needs to leave the house tonight. Get some space. Is there any chance it could escalate again?

How is he acting now?

Are you safe?

Hissy · 21/12/2017 19:56

He needs to go. Will he?

You and the baby need to feel safe

Hissy · 21/12/2017 19:57

If he won’t go, you need to call someone to come and help you. Either to get him out of there or to collect you

Sparrowlegs248 · 21/12/2017 19:57

I hope you are OK frozen I agree you need some time apart to process how you feel about this and how you want to move on from it.

My 'd'H punched the kitchen wall hard enough to break his hand, then kicked the door, within a foot of meach holding 3 day old ds2 . Over nothing. (Well, he didn't agree with how ido put Ds1 to bed, on my 1st night home from hospital after traumatic delivery etc)

I can't get past it. It was the first time for him too. And the last. He moved out a few weeks ago.

buckbeak · 21/12/2017 20:01

Please please take your baby and leave, this is only the start, please get somewhere safe. Thanks

Original poster
frozenbaubles · 21/12/2017 20:03

We were arguing. He was shouting in my face when I was holding the baby, so I pushed him away from me. He grabbed me by the arm and drew his fist back. There's no way he will let me leave and take her with me. She's been put in her cot now in her room and she started crying through the baby monitor. I went to go and pick her up before he could get her and he pushed me away.

OP posts:
f83mx · 21/12/2017 20:05

phone the police.

Original poster
frozenbaubles · 21/12/2017 20:05

I don't even remember what he was shouting at me. I just know he sneered at me when I moved away with my daughter and covered her with my arms. Something about 'don't even act like you're scared'.

OP posts:
FairyAnn · 21/12/2017 20:06

Is he stopping you from getting to your baby? If so, you need to call the police. They will remove him, or take you and your baby someplace safe

f83mx · 21/12/2017 20:06

Sorry - wasn't meant to be dramatic one liner but if he isn't going to "let" you leave? How is he going to stop you? if through violence - then phone the police or get someone round asap to support you.

BuffaloCustardbath · 21/12/2017 20:07

I think you need to phone the police and get some support, is he stopping you going to the baby? What is he doing?

C0untDucku1a · 21/12/2017 20:08

Phone the police op. Thats not one thing, thats several unacceptable things.

Only1scoop · 21/12/2017 20:11

Oh Frozen one of you needs to leave for tonight

Is this the first time?

Keep a mobile with you. Can you confide in a relative/friend tonight??

finnmcool · 21/12/2017 20:15

He did that while you were holding your baby?
What if you weren't holding her?

MillennialFalcon · 21/12/2017 20:17

Please phone the police and get help to get yourself and your DD to a place of safety. He threatened you and won't let you leave, that is very dangerous. If you need confirmation that this is bad enough to reach out and call the police it really is, so many people here care and are concerned about you.

user1485778793 · 21/12/2017 20:18

Get out right now and take dc with you.

FuckFaulkerILikeTheGruffalo · 21/12/2017 20:19

Lack of remorse - extra piece of shit. Any family members you could text to come over and escort you and baby out? Or get him to leave? If not, call the police. If he thinks about punching you while you hold the baby I wouldn't trust him with the baby.

I'm so sorry.

Xmasgrinch · 21/12/2017 20:20

Leave now with your child. If he tries to stop you 999.

Bluesrunthegame · 21/12/2017 20:21

I second calling the police. You and your child/children need to be somewhere safe, away from him.

Battleax · 21/12/2017 20:21

Has he been drinking?

What are your options for getting out of there for tonight?