I have cheated on my DH

[AutumnalMelancholyCat]

I want to be as quick and non identifying as possible, but it's hard. Need to get facts down, I just want someone to know.
My DH and I are both late 20s, and got married earlier this year. We lived apart before marriage, so I moved into his rented house in a different city, and country - technically! I am still working from home for my old company which is great money wise, but meant that I was also keen to reach out and find some friends in the area.
Oh, I'm also a recovering alcoholic so go to AA meetings. Anyway I used the app Bumble, but only the friend option, and met some lovely woman in the area. My DH is not into me going out loads, and thinks we should do way more as a couple. He is also very serious about his religion.

Anyway, out of interest I went onto the dating section and was blown away by the attention from guys (loser that I am). Especially one guy. We met up and snogged, I didn't say I was married. Then we had sex and I din't tell him I was married. Then the guilt got too much and I told him. I fancy him so damn much, and compartmentalise totally when I'm with him or DH. He agreed to keep seeing me after finding out - same age as me, very different ideas about life.

So. I sometimes lie and get away from my husband and fuck another man, after less than a year of marriage. Oh, and we just bought a house.

I am awful I know that, but I feel so numb to it. I feel very lost.

[AutumnalMelancholyCat]

And I REALLY don't want to drink again

[AutumnalMelancholyCat]

*GP

[annielouise]

Married too young by the sounds of it. For his sake leave.

[IHeartDodo]

Out of interest, where are you?

[hellsbellsmelons]

When you say 'high' - is that high on life or high on drugs?
If it's drugs then I hope that is what the GP appointment is for.

[AutumnalMelancholyCat]

I cannot even imagine telling him

[AutumnalMelancholyCat]

I'm in England, from Scotland

[Ceto]

Why would leaving be difficult? If you mean it would be difficult for you, that may be something you have to suck up along with the realisation that gratifying your sexual urges is something that has serious consequences.

[HadronCollider]

I think your husband is not the right man for you. It seems like you need to still explore. I think it best if you leave him as you don't appear to be on the same page in terms of life goals.

End the marriage and make it a quick break. If this doesn't finish it, another situation will just happen further down the line.

You say you were an alcoholic in the past, perhaps this delayed you finding out who you really are - delayed your maturity? Maybe you need more time to explore who you are without alcohol for a few more years. Get some more life experience under your belt.

Perhaps your DH is too conservative for you? Did he appear like the 'right choice' to get your life together?

I'm sure you know what you did was wrong. But now you have to have the guts to follow the conclusions your actions have led to and are telling you. Make a choice.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

You need serious emotional help.

Stop using alcohol as an excuse.

[AutumnalMelancholyCat]

I'm not using alcohol as an excuse for anything

[AutumnalMelancholyCat]

Cheers

[Damocat]

I agree to end it with your husband. But the relationship with the OM sounds quite destructive, is that really the way you want your life to go?

[grins]

Looks to me like you're simply swapping one addiction for another. You need to figure out what it is that underlies that. I think you need space from both men to figure out what it is that is driving this behaviour and to work out what you want to do.

[AutumnalMelancholyCat]

Why does it sound destructive?

[BadHatter]

Show him this post so he can see how little you respect him.

[AutumnalMelancholyCat]

I think the addiction thing is probably very true.

[AutumnalMelancholyCat]

Yes, of course I will show him this thread . Wonderful advice

[Jamboree05]

What the utter fuck?? Leave the poor man. If you can't commit, you shouldn't be in a relationship. What an appalling way to treat someone.

[Deemail]

I hope you're still not planning on having kids with your husband?

[Bonez]

Pretty sure with bumble the girl has to talk to the guy first...?

[Gazelda]

OP, I don’t know if you’re noticed my question earlier so I’ll ask it again - what do you think you should do?

[SparklyMagpie]

Let's be honest, you don't give a shit about your husband and " leaving would be exceedingly difficult " is a bloody cop out

So leave him, what do you think would happen if your husband found out?

I can't stand people like you. Ive been cheated on in the past but luckily I wasnt married, didn't have a beautiful child to think about, I read the stories of some brave men and women on here, an then to read some shit like this

Grow up, take responsibility. If you're big and clever enough to meet with this OM your big enough to tell your husband

Fucking hell

[SparklyMagpie]

Bones they do, it's an app for women to take the lead

[Fragglewump]

Why do you mean by high? Drugs or something else?