Ridiculous things your ex said at the time of your divorce/separation

[helpmeseethefunnysideplease]

Mine has today told my (lovely) solicitor that she is

"pedaling in a world of deception and untruths" yes presumably his

Don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Mine wanted DC he just didn't want to parent them. How dare I not make it easier for him to drop in and out of their lives without any responsibility to care for them!

12 years of marriage...he left on Xmas day and said “we can still meet up for coffee” never spoke to one another after that. 12 months after he remarried. 4 years on and I’m still hurting...I think at the very least he needed to sit down and explain his decision and allow me to have closure.

I removed my engagement ring when I discovered that mine was still married to his ex. He noticed and went on and on about how I'd broken off our engagement 😂🖕🚮

iwant

It started with 'You need my permission for us to separate and I won't allow it' - deluded much.

He insisted that we both sign a letter in which he agreed not to divorce me for adultery (I didn't care whether he did or not) provided that I didn't put in writing that he'd sexually assaulted me - I signed it like a shot and still have a copy 5 years later - twat!

This is a man who holds down a professional job - how????

Sorry, maybe I shouldn't, but I roared with laughter at Mr Muscle and the can of pledge!!!

"We had some great holidays" is how my exH summed up a 30 year relationship which ended when I found out about his long term cheating - twat.

I live in Ireland where at the time it took 4 years to get a divorce.

6 weeks after we separated idiot ex decided he wanted to marry again. A woman from the US, he found some lawyer that could get him a divorce in US & speed up his visa process. Cost $30k, he contacted me for half the money.

I had taken on half his debts that I had previously known nothing about (because I was young, stupid & badly advised). To the tune of £40k.

I was broke & in debt. I didn't have any money to give even if I wanted to.

I was 'spitefully impeding his personal development & trying to stop his progress in life'

I had a letter from him, written in his mont blanc fountain pen, instructing me on a number of practical aspects of my daily life eg that I should regularly turn the mattress on my bed.

How considerate of him Springydaffs, did he have regular inspections?

Oh dear, springy, were you, like me, one of those awful wives who don't fulfil their wifely duty of regularly turning their husbands' mattress for them? I'm surprised my ex didn't leave me instructions too

"There is no man that will ever want you".

The first time he came into my (post-separation) house, he strode in and turned down the heating.

I think the point was he genuinely thought I was his property.

Ex was genuinely horrified that I'd want to spilt up a 'happy family' ? He'd refuse and ignore me calling me a " psycho! you're never happy I'm happy that's all that matters"
Towards the actual end when I knew I could no longer ignore his refusals to split he was doing drugs on nights out and would lie about it to prevent "you'll only start nagging me when I want to sleep"
He still thinks he's the injured party tho stripped from his happy family/happy home (we lived in poverty he kept his wage to himself)

I'm not going to dredge up all the classics but one which sticks in my mind is: 'It destroyed me when you stopped wearing your wedding ring. There was no going back then!' . This was said to me as an excuse after I discovered his infidelities while I was pregnant, he moved out to be with her, I had to call her mobile when I went into labour as his was turned off.....and a million other humiliations....I took my ring off because I was a pregnant swollen mess and it would have cut off my finger!

He told me I buy cheap cheese!

You cheap cheese buyer you!!

So many....but Three that stuck with me:

‘You don’t know what love means. [DP’s Ex-girlfriends name] and I were in love.’ This was after several years together.l around the time of the incident below...

‘You won’t be on your own, but that’s just too much commitment for me’. I was pregnant; he wanted me to have an abortion, which I did. This comment was in response to me saying I didn’t think I could go through with it. He then moved on to ‘You clearly dont love me then’ And ‘I’m already damned (his ex had an abortion) so it doesn’t really matter to me if you get judged for it’

Lastly: ‘I’m not having an affair’ and then ‘It’s just sex’ followed by ‘I slept in the spare room can we just have sex now, you’ve made your point’.

FML. We are all worth so much more than the things we’ve put on here!

We are all worth so much more than the things we’ve put on here!

Aint that the damn fucking truth!!!!!

"You'll start looking your age and then no one will want you"

I was 42. I'm 49 now. I still don't look 42!

He's 59 and looks like my dad.

He told me I buy cheap cheese!

Some women have no pride.

Quelle fromage!

You had me at cheap cheese! 😊😂😂🧀🧀🧀

This is triggering, and absolutely not true, but mine threatened to report me to the police for abusing our son if I left. If I stayed he would continue to expect me to do almost all the childcare, look after our son while he went out every night because that was my job. But if I left he'd report me to the police...