Ridiculous things your ex said at the time of your divorce/separation

[helpmeseethefunnysideplease]

Mine has today told my (lovely) solicitor that she is

"pedaling in a world of deception and untruths" yes presumably his

Don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Some of these just take my breath away. And make me profoundly grateful that I never gave in to the temptation to 'accidentally' get pregnant by exH, although I desperately wanted a child.

Oh that's another one and the final straw. Let me witter on about our future children then a few years after we married announced "Oh, by the way, I never want to have children". He'd always felt like that. Apparently it wasn't important enough to tell me.

He said 'It's not fair, I've only just started bonding with her' about our 3rd child, who was 22 months old!

The last thing my ex said as he walked out of the door was, I never wanted children.

I shouted after him, well you should have told me.

And let me say, we did not have children easily. Yet through all the years of trying, he didn't think to mention that he didn't want them anyway .

Thrill that's horrible!! At least my ex put off our having a child with excuses about 'timing'. Yours was doubly deceptive!

If you don't mind my asking, has he stepped up to his responsibilities? I'm very glad I didn't have children with my ex (I have two with now DH) but I've always wondered if ex would have stepped up.

at the one trying to set himself on fire with cans of Pledge.

“Why would you do that without even discussing it with me? I would always provide for my children!” - when he saw from the divorce papers that I was now working full-time. I had to take him to the CMS to get him to pay child maintenance properly

If I accepted he had to work hard and okay hard we could give it another go. That meant being a workaholic and skipping off down the pub after work until all hours while I looked after sick kids and mothered him. I declined the offer. It was shortly followed by a suggestion we became f* buddies....again declined.....even after it turned to begging.

Oh no acrossthepond, he messed the children around for three years and then announced he wants nothing more to do with them and I get £7 a week out of his benefits, every penny of which he begrudges.

"I know I've treated you badly but I've learned a lot and I'll be better in future relationships".

Great, thanks for letting me be your test run for future relationships where you'll actually try?

I read his secret emails. In one, he said that he never wanted to marry me and have children, but "you know what women are like" - apparently I made him do it, poor thing.

Latest comment, years later, was that these emails were like a private diary - just thinking aloud - and he "never meant anyone to read them".

They were a conversation with his mistress.

Apparently, she knows just what women are like, too.

Ooh so many to choose from:

1.Are we even married? (we got married abroad)
2.Are you having an affair? (Never looked at another man in our 20yrs together)

1. We could sell up and buy 2 smaller houses next door to each other
2. I will never see dd (after I stated he could see her every single day if he wanted)
3. You will never manage without me - almost laughed at that as I was doing everything myself anyway plus working 2 jobs
4. You were only with me for my money (again, I had to work 2 jobs to contribute to household bills & mortgage, he never gave me a penny)
5. You are forcing me to live in a shitty bedsit (earns 3 times more than me, he moved out leaving me to pay all bills plus mortgage and is renting a v nice house)
6. When we divorce I want at least 50% of everything (apparantly raising our dd costs nothing so I wasn't entitled to a greater share - my lawyer did scoff at that one)
7. If you knew we were going to split why did you let me buy a secondhand car?? (His old car was a wreck)

Loads of other crap since that too, he is an idiot.

"We have nothing in common Smurfy- I love Ice Age (the film!!) and you hate it".

No, I wasnt 13 at the time- I was 26 and we'd been together 18 months. Twat.

Mine put on the paperwork as a reason that I was a lady of the night, had sex with men for money because I worked late nights.

I worked as a domiciliary carer at the time and got home at half 10 most evenings I worked

Another ex gem (god the 1st year after spilt was a heap of bs)
After spilt he wanted to report me to ss for child neglect stating his evidence as a photo(several years old)of one of the DC with a rash! The ridiculous bit was he was in the photo with DC and we would've been still together when it was taken

Was such a joke tbh as he didn't want any access to DC (put them up for adoption ex) or pay cs.
Everything was done to push my buttons because he didn't want to separate so being a giant arsehole was his ploy to win me back!

Well, that sucks Thrill. But in a way I think it's better that he shuffled off to Buffalo and let them be rather than be a shit parent showing resentment or jerking them around re access.

I wonder how many men suddenly discover they 'never wanted children' and/or were 'tricked/forced into it' at the same time they decide they don't want to be married anymore. Ipso facto they shouldn't have to pay maintenance.

AND how many men who don't want children marry women who do without telling them. I know women who have married men who've been honest about it thinking he'll change his mind (my son and DiL tbh). But I know far more men who have concealed that fact and married knowing their fiancee wanted children and they didn't.

This thread makes me realise how lucky I am, and DH is certainly capable of being Mr. Tactless.

Nothing like these though.

'Now you can ask your new man to raise and take responsibility for our DC (3 of them) like I had to for your DS's (my older two, his step-son's)'

Charmer. After finding out I'd met somebody new many month's after leaving him.

• "You'll never get another man like me, no one can love you like I loved you" - thank fuck for that! He was emotionally abusive.

• "Will you give this marriage one more try?" - after a bitter separation during which he called me all sorts, mocked me about a traumatic experience in my life, caused criminal damage and general shitty behaviour to me and the DC

There's loads more but I've probably blocked them from my mind

"I didn't make a (horrible and graphic) fake attempt on my life to to emotionally blackmail littlemy into doing what I wanted. I did it because she kept on answering back and needed to shut up" was a personal favourite. he really couldn't understand why everyone thought he was unstable

"I've never touched illegal drugs. I'd never do that" "oh ok there are a few convictions for possession of class As. And ok yeah I do them sometimes. Actually I take whatever I can get my hands on...."

You know I really can not think why the fuck I put up with his shit for as long as I did.

Apparently I don't understand STBXH because I don't ride a motorbike.

He left me out of the blue for OW who he is still trying to pretend he's not shagging. Says I've made him homeless because I won't give him money for a deposit on a flat and he's forced to sleep on a friend's sofa.

Whatever.

Mine recently told (adult) dc that I lured him in and forced him to marry me. I won't go into detail about how I apparently lured him but it would have involved my being psychic and predicting the future. As for marriage, we married after ten years and three children together.

There is a definite theme developing here. Poor, poor men being forced into having children with us.

I'm going through a separation at the moment and this thread is keeping me sane. It has inspired me to text my friend when he says something ridiculous , i tell her sorry I am boring you but i'm just venting !

this morning (him to me ) : ''just look at yourself ( I was eating porridge ) - I'm going to put cameras up all round this place to record you ''-
not sure why and who wants to watch me ? Judge Rinder ? Big Brother ?
I made sure I did my hair nice just in case lol

Mine objected to not being allowed to see my DDs (not his children), he threatened social services if I refused contact. I refused, he went to social services and was laughed out of the building - they sent me a letter to say that he had contacted them, they had spoken to her school and had no concerns. The school knew that he was planning to go to them as I'd already discussed it with him.

At the time I was employed by the very same social services department that he went to see!

Oh so many.

Told me he didn't want to be a parent, that I'd ruined his life, that I'd forced him into impregnating me because I sexually assaulted him, and how much money would he have to pay to never see our DD again?

That I destroyed his mental health. (He has, and always did have, BPD. I'm the one who cared for him for years and I was the one phoning the crisis team and taking him to the A&E duty psychiatrist.)

That I was a jealous bitch who didn't get that men and women could just be friends. Of course, six months on I discovered that my intuition was entirely correct and he'd being having unprotected anal sex with someone else while still sleeping with me.

That he was going to overdose, kill his parents and kill the OW. Ten minutes later he said that he wouldn't do this, he just needed my attention. I had 137 text messages within 2hrs that day.

The divorce came through a year ago. He's moved 150 miles away to live with the OW and today I got an email from him telling me he's "not actually obligated" to pay maintenance because he's on benefits.

Oh! He also told me I was doing feminism wrong. I wondered how he'd got so woke. He was fucking a 21yo student from his mental health support group, that's how.