He doesn't know if he loves me

[TerribleTime]

Just that really. I've been with my DP for over four years. It hasn't been the fairytale romance you dream about but we've both been faithful.

He has never told me he loves me in the time we've been together but has always jokingly avoided the question. I outright asked him if he loved me last night. His response: I'm not sure. Love is a very strong word and I use it sparingly.

I feel like I deserve a partner who loves me wholeheartedly and thinks I'm the best thing ever. When I told him I thought I deserved more in a relationship he told me to ask him again in a few weeks (WTF).

I have told him that I won't be asking him again in a few weeks and I'm not going to pressure him to feel something for me just because I want him to.

The thing is, now I know he doesn't love me where do I go? We have no DC together and aren't financially enmeshed. The weird thing is, I can't imagine sleeping with him again knowing he feels how he feels.

Has anyone been in this situation and what did you do? Any other advice is also welcome.

I've just had to walk away from someone I have been seeing for about 14 months for exactly this reason.

I love him however the most he can say back is that 'he cares deeply'. I know he will never commit and I just can't keep on. He will even say things like ' You are perfect in every way, but there is just something missing'.

Sometimes you just have to do it and walk away. You deserve better! I'm finding it incredibly hard!

Here to hold your hand OP

You need to get a test to out your mind at rest. I agree with others that its probably stress but best to know sooner rather than later, to give more time to make any decisions.

Thanks again everyone for the support.

If AF hasn't arrived tomorrow I will get a test. I do think it's just the stress as I've got an IUD which is apparently pretty much invincible.

Phew - I did a test. It's negative. 👍🏻

I know I want children but not in these circumstances. Onwards and upwards.

I'm glad that your mind is at rest about that.
Hopefully you are holding firm and not contacting him.
How's your week been?

Thanks hellsbellsmelons I feel a lot more positive now.

My week has been pretty down so far if I'm
honest. My anxiety levels are really high and I'm hardly sleeping but yes, I'm holding firm.

I hope you're ok.

Now you know, I doubt your period will be far away.
When I was young I used to say nothing brings on a period like a negative pregnancy test.

You are doing fabulous and I am sure when you meet the one for you, he will be a distant memory

KOKO OP. You have done the right thing. It will get better.

Thanks. I feel a bit better today. Hopefully, I am on the mend. Even now I see my life is much more stress free without him.

Still no sign of my period but feel some of the usual pms symptoms so hopefully it's not too far away.

I'm glad you are feeling a bit better.
You will have up and down days for some time yet.
You will have wobbles.
But you WILL get through them and you will be OK in the end.