Anyone else read the threads on here and think 'I'm going to stay single forever?'

[Lovemusic33]

So many people dealing with cheating husbands and partners, emotionally abusive partners and cocklodgers.

Reading these threads makes me so scared of getting into another relationship. I have been single for almost a year after my ex partner (whom I met through OLD) was abusive towards me and eventually cheated on me. I go on a few dates but I'm scared of getting hurt so I don't usually get past the first 2 or 3 dates. I read so many threads on here where people who were happily married have found their dh/dp/do have been cheating on them and it makes me feel so sad and angry. Why do people feel the need to cheat? If your not happy in a relationship then walk away before you tempted by someone else, before you destroy your partner by making them feel they are not good enough.

I would really like to meet my Mr right but at the moment it's so much easier being single and not risking getting hurt.

Does anyone else read the threads here and think 'thank god im single'?

No. I've been single 7 years now and am getting more and more fed up with it.

Remember that by their very nature these boards are where people come to vent or moan about their relationships. We don't see many "I just want to say something positive". So you're seeing a snapshot of some unhappy relationships without seeing the other side.

That's true, it is a place for people to vent though I hear it happening to friends a lot in RL too, I don't think I know many 'happily married couples', just makes me wonder if it's all worth it?
I miss the intamicy and the chit chat (mainly in the evenings) but I love the not having to explain where I'm going, who I'm seeing and not having to worry about what they are up too. Maybe when I find the right person it will feel different.

Yep! Happy to be single with a casual FWB, leaves me the time and emotional energy to concentrate on my career, my son and my cat :)

Ocassionally I think about my late husband and remember trivial stuff like him stroking my hair at bedtime. Then I come onto this board and realize the sheer effort of maintaining a healthy relationship is really not worth it to me just for a bit of hair stroking lol

I'm a single mum with a heavy career. Was single for 5 years and loved it. Did do a bit of OLD.

Leaving an abusive relationship can make you a bit hesitant and I worked out what I wanted was a bit of both. Freedom and a part time relationship.

I don't want to be with someone all the time, I met someone amazing and we are happy with the couple of nights a week thing. A trip away sometimes.

I can't see myself ever getting married again or living with someone full time. I like things to way they are and the alternative...it presents too much risk and ballache for my liking.

Im married and my DH has bad health problems. Even though we have not been physical for years when hes not around anymore i dont intend to have another relationship. From what ive read on here guys on OLD expect too much and dont like or want to date low income women.

I will save myself the heartache and the bother when the time comes.

Yep, relationships just aren't for me, not for a while anyway. So many people are complete arseholes I just don't need that crap.

Yep! Happy to be single with a casual FWB, leaves me the time and emotional energy to concentrate on my career, my son and my cat

Seconded to every point

If anything happened to my marriage I would stay living alone and have a couple of gentleman friends for the occasional holiday/night out

I would layer up on the condoms and boot off anyone that talked about getting their feet under my table

I'm pretty sure. Keep trying but I've been single all my life really. Few casual relationships but nothing proper.

Kind of sad but then I see the shit some put up with and thank my stars.

Yes just from reading my own thread

Seriously though, they really are a waste of time

I'm in a very happy marriage. It's a hard topic to start a thread about because it would either be seen as boring, or gloating.

A happy relationship is amazing but I'd prefer to be single forever than be with the wrong person. I have nothing but respect for someone who doesn't settle.

I'm in my mid-40's & have a few friends who are dating - all intelligent, attractive women with their own careers, interests, emotionally- together, solvent.

And the men they are online dating are a bunch of fuckwitts: emotionally inadequate, cheaters, waste-of-space cunts.

If I'm single again in the future, it will be me, a cat & a vibrator although I wonder what happens when I die & my children have to clear my house out & find it.

Yes, there's some of that.

But I don't have much faith in my own picker, having spent most of my adult life with someone who, now I am free of, I realise was keeping me down.

And I find it very off-putting how so many people seem to rush from one relationship to another, and want to push up the 'relationship escalator' really fast (as it seems to me). I'd be reluctant to start dating someone new because guys are just as guilty of that, and living together seems very much something I do not want (possibly ever again) as I really enjoy having my own space and not being answerable to anyone. I'm actually very much enjoying living alone.

I do have a casual boyfriend, with no intentions of pushing it forward, I like where we are.

It seems like a lot of women are in uneven relationships - the book 'Wifework' is very on point - and it's not something I want for myself. It's not just played out on here, I see it in my friends' relationships quite a bit. So yeah. There's a reason married men's happiness exceeds married women's.

You also forgot about the man children op. The lazy fuckers who expect you to run around after them because he man, you woman.
The grim ones who piss everywhere when drunk
Then there's the inlaws. Might find a decent partner but end up with the inlaws from hell. Or you quickly realise the parents come first and you come way down the list.
Or you move in together. He seemed decent and not at all tight with the cash. Then suddenly the penny pinching kicks in.
The ones that make an effort when dating but when things get serious turn into some smelly man thing that showers once maybe twice a week.

I read threads on here and think, why on earth do some women put up with such utter shitty partners.

The amount of minimising and putting down pretty awful behaviour to the 'awwww well ya know that's men for you' attitude shocks me.

If I were a man I'd be pretty offended to read that I'm meant to be an abusive, incompetent, lazy fuckwit purely thro the accident of my sex.

Yep! Happy to be single with a casual FWB, leaves me the time and emotional energy to concentrate on my career, my son and my cat

Yep! This, this and this!

Having been married and divorced twice by the time I was 40, now fast approaching 50 I'm happy on my own, and would never willingly share my home with a man again. I love having my own space and being able to do what I want, when I want, how I want. :)

Don't let these boards scare you off.

People start threads on here to get advice about their bad relationships and vent about their dickhead husbands.

Nobody writes threads about how in love they are and how wonderful their OH/DH is because they would be seen as smug and a stealth boaster!

By nature the relationship/AIBU boards tend mostly to be negative threads.

There are plenty of lovely single men out there

No. I read them and thank God I met someone wonderful. Good people are out there.

Exactly as others have said - if everything is fine then you don't have anything to vent on MN about!
I love my partner, neither of us are perfect but we're good together! We are equal partners and he respects me and cooks me dinner every day so all I really have to complain about is the standard toilet seat left up!
Tbh though, I have sometimes read the threads where the OP finds an earring or something and thought "God, DP could be doing that and I wouldn't know", but you will drive yourself mad doing that!

No. I read them and thank God I met someone wonderful. Good people are out there

Totally agree

Yep. I've been single for over seven years and I love it. I can't really imagine having to share my life with anyone again. However, if Mr All Round Amazing drops by then I may be prepared to reconsider ....

I'm single and done with dating and I'm only 28!

Was with my ex for 7 years who cheated , now I'm free to spread my wings , but I've just been ghosted and now I'm like ... forget it !!

The happiest lady I know is in her 70's, married twice, widowed and lived on her own with her dog and several gentlemen callers!! She told me it's the happiest she has been and she is so lovely

I feel the same, I've been single for nearly a year, after I asked cocklodger partner to get a job and contribute financially and also help around the house if he wanted to stay living in my house (neither reasonable to him so he just walked without a backward glance). I do miss the companionship I suppose but I had got too fed up with being cash cow/his mum. I'm so busy working and looking after DC that to be honest I couldn't give any time to a new relationship so for the foreseeable future I will be alone. I'm definitely not going to do OLD but if I happened to meet someone and we clicked then yes I would go on a date but I can't see that happening. Maybe when the DC are grown up (and I'm retired).

Not really mn over the yrs has changed me all the while I was lurking. Raised my standards and tweaked my bullshit radar.

I'm living and loving life without the need for a man right now although would like that someday but I'm happy as I am for the moment and even if i get burned I know I can be happy again after it.