DH has died and MN Aunties are keeping things ticking over (Juan)

[TheWorldHasGoneToCake]

Just starting a new thread on Juan's orders. She'll be back when she feels up to it.

Thinking of her on Sunday/Monday as always.

Oh willow, I really do feel for you. Been there, had that with DSS a long time ago.

A talk with a stern police sergeant seriously worked wonders. He spelt out quite clearly that DSS had been stealing from us and therefore a thief. He said, 'Give me one good reason why your father should not be seeing you in court. How are you going to convince them you are not dishonest?'.

If there's someone in your life who could do this, whom your DS respects/fears, saying how disappointed they and you are in him it could be the brakes can be applied.

Sometimes tough love is needed (counsellor head on here, sorry) otherwise they think it's OK.

Sorry if this sounds like a sermon, but it needs stopping now, otherwise trust will be non-existent and there could be another victim who does take him to court.

selena
Thanks.

I will tell his dad who will give him a talking too then go home and forget about it till next time.

I have nipped into the o2 shop and Google play is pin protected on his phone by me now and blocked on my o2 account for his phone yeah.

Little bigger wasn't even out his bed when I presented him with the evidence and wasn't too perturbed as not awake properly. No doubt by now he will be thinking up every plea bargain in history for me.😀 can't wait to get home not.

Been looking at new cookers mine is almost defunked .

Any recommendations?

Now I think on it his dad will probably tell him he is deleting his fav internet game on the pc ( then tell me to do it 😀) he will get a proper telling but if I don't get a whole load of good behaviour in the next few days then there is a local policeman who used to go round all the primary schools doing stuff and everyone loved him. If he doesnt shape up will get in touch ( he is no longer doing school stuff so will be more 'official' )

Wish me luck.

I wish you all the luck there is - from our own experience with benefit of hindsight of course, I'd get the local policeman in sooner rather than later. Your DS sounds to need a short, sharp shock as to what he's actually been doing (and they kid themselves it's not really stealing). It's something around split parents, using one against the other and a cry for help.

I'm looking at Neff and Bosch cookers for my new kitchen. Why has the cooker genre gone backwards? Used to be able to get self cleaning, delayed timing with multiple choice for temperature, cook times and now just bog-standard timers with no choice at all. Improved them worse in my opinion.

Rant over.

Evening all
gosh Willow , thats pretty upsetting and annoying - no sensible advice from me, but Selena seems to have a handle on it . Hope he does come to his senses.
re cookers .They are a nightmare ! do you want a hob and built in ,or an all in one? Mine is all one -I only have the one spot for it. its this one HERE . It took a lot of finding - the size of the oven ( all look the same outside - inside not so!) and the induction hob were the two factors. I took my big Christmas roasting dish with me :) My DD has some good Neff built in ovens, but her hob is no where near as easy to use.
I have had a lovely day out - all dry too , but it is now proper heavy rain. Glad I can snuggle up indoors!
Easy evening ahead of crotchet and chocolate .
Hope everyone else is okay - Juan and Chasing thinking of you
Cake - hope the weather is being kind .

Willow, sorry your lad is giving you hassle, be firm and make sure there's a consequence for his behaviour.

Teens! Bloomin' horrible phase. I'd have 10 babies over teens any day. My 2 have just about worn me out and to think I wanted 4 at one time, lol!

Selena, I have a Neff oven (autocorrect changed that to Jeff, might call it that from now on!) and I've been very pleased with it but I am not a cook by any stretch of the imagination, so don't take my recommendation

I've had a couple of glasses of rosé tonight so am nicely relaxed now!

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend, weather meant to be reasonable here tomorrow.

Has anyone been in touch with Juan?

Hey all, last catch up before we head home. The weather has been dry enough for another good day so feeling exhausted and in need of a holiday but happy.

Just to let you all know that DS has been given a nose spray - don't know if it is that or the cleaner air, or both and exercise but he's been much better at breathing. Still a few restless nights, but that's to be expected I guess.

Willow I feel so sorry for you. DD already fibs to get out of trouble so I can't wait for the teenage years of playing myself and her dad off against each other. Hoping it won't extend to money dramas but pretty sure once she gets a phone from Disney dad the trouble will start. Has he been contrite?

Selena I have the cheapest oven we could find as the old one broke when I was 39 weeks pregnant with DS and it has kept going! Hob even more ancient. Once we've done all the painting and recarpeting that needs doing, the kitchen lies ahead!

You sound like you are doing really well and you also sound so wise! Might need to consult you and book in future as you seem to have made it through the teenage bits intact

Going home via a Roman villa, looking forward to my own bed. Such a home body.

Hope everyone else is doing Ok.

Also got the badger sleep stuff belt and braces right???

Clearly brain fried...I sent Juan a text today. Will pass on your thoughts and love when I get a response.

Evening all
Just put down the crotchet ( Gardeners World finished )

Evening all.

Well he is contrite and was trying to do something to get money to pay me back but it didn't work. Eldest has had behavioural probs for long time and about 80% of adhd traits. He was assessed but because he didn't hit 95% or something they wouldn't give him a diagnosis. Apparently if you can concentrate on a computer game you cant have adhd which is complete nonsense if you actually read up on it, and boy did I read up on it.
Compulsive lying is one of his behaviours. It's pretty hard sometimes. He knows he does it and can't stop them is wracked with guilt and wants me to send him away as he is 'bad' and I deserve better. Breaks my heart to see him sobbing in my arms.

Refused to let him have his phone or the Xbox to watch you tube vids upstairs. After a meltdown he calmed down and we spent a nice evening all watching tv together. Going to do that more often and cut back on all devices for everyone. They really wind him up and he admits it.
This parenting lark is bloody hard sometimes.

book that's a brill oven will look for similar maybe just a bit cheaper 😉I am so jealous!
And I want those truffles will be googling them tomorrow!

cake sounds like a lovely holiday but yep you need one to recover from a holiday when you have kids.

horse I wanted to be 'Ma Walton' when I was young my God I would be demented by now!

Sleep tight all fingers crossed I don't obsess over this business and keep awake got swimming in morning 😀

Damm meant to say i think that's is the cooker I was drooling over in Currys till I saw the price 😀😀

Oh yes, Willow parenting teens is the hardest job EVER. Nothing can prepare you! I think less screen time can only be a good thing (and I say that as a bit of a phone addict myself).

I am off to a village show today, looking forward to that, especially seeing all the animals

Morning all
lovely and sunny here- just slobbing with breakfast and MN :)
DD2 is dropping by this morning so no popping out to the allotment .
Willow - that must be so hard with DS- and hope I didn't upset with my post . It's a different matter when you know there are reasons. It does sound as if your plan of more defined use , and being downstairs altogether may be a good one .
I wouldn't google the chocolates - they are eyewateringly expensive! - I have never had any of these before, they are about a billion pounds a bite! ( but my excuse - it's my birthday today and I decided to open them early )
The cooker is brilliant, but I did have to save up for it, and bite my lip when paying for it!
Horse - I love village shows - they are all coming up around here in the next four weeks
Right- better get dressed.
Cake - safe journey home
Hoping Chasing and Juan are okay
Have a good day all

Happy Birthday book, have a brill day.

Willow, I hope I didn't upset you either. My professional experience with adhd is very firm boundaries all the time. Best of luck!

Happy Birthday bookbook, I hope you have a lovely day.

Cake, it's been a doing holiday for you - which while fun is tiring. Have you got some downtime when you get home?

Horsemad enjoy the show.

Willow, don't think I have any advice, just some sympathy.

Selena hope you find the right oven. No tips here, I've had ours 17 years.

Lots of work this week, with a bit of time I'd already done I've done enough this week to cover having next week off and just having to use holiday for the week after.

Stayed up FAR to late last night, firstly being introspective with a WAY correspondent, the reading back old emails from the start of my relationship with John - which mostly made me smile. Think it was after 3am which is stupid.
No plans for today and over to see MIL, SIL & husband this evening then the boys home tomorrow.

Morning all.

Not upset one bit😀 always happy for any tips on this parenting malarky 😀
Been to swimming with ds2 and noticed the shows were in the carpark. Hopefully setting up not taking down (that would be just my luck) they have a 'jungle ride' used to love those. Fingers crossed for this pm.
Be a nice time out with kids.

Sun shining and washing out. Ds1 got up with us and has done the dishes wonder how long this will last😉

book Happy Birthday. Hope it's a good one. Sometimes they have those make of truffles in Aldi on offer will keep my eyes peeled.

cake enjoy the Roman stuff we love that kind of thing.

We're home! Unpacked and washing machine on. Chinese for tea as a last hurrah.

Catch up with you all later x

Enjoy your Chinese cake.

I'm at MIL's for tea with her and SIL & BIL.
I just find it very very sad.
And miss John.
Boys home in the morning.

Afternoon all
Thank you all for the birthday wishes . I am sat here while DH cooks my tea ..........Though I did go and get the veg from the allotment this afternoon, and cut loads of flowers too .
Chasing plod on eh ((hugs)) and
Cake - you are so like me - first thing through the door - kettle on, washing sorted and in the machine. Enjoy that Chinese!

Hi all

Well dragged ds1 out and we went to the Border Show. Got nice bread, sweet stuff & tasted lots of samples of cheese and jam etc. Watched the 'imps' motorbike display, and kids went on rides at the shows. Stopped at garden centre for light tea as knackered. Legs are killing me😀
Despite his posturing and protests before we left ds1 had good time. Will persuade him devices aren't the b all and end all if it kills me. If only these things didn't cost money😀😀
Cheap to get in but not once you are in😀
squirrels ((hugs)) just KBO I suppose. Hope you feel better once kids are home.

Time for a cuppa and my piece of cherry flapjack. Mmm.

book Happy Birthday! Hope you've had a lovely day.

I am back from the Show, the weather held and I had a good time but feel tired now!

Cakes chinese sounds tempting...

Should read Cake's - missing apostrophe!!

Just a quick one...have read all your posts.

Happy birthday book! those chocs look amazing!

Chines was lush. Ate too much but I only had elevenses today and nothing else because that was a hot Choc, mini quiche and slab of cake

willow the Romans were there and the children loved it. DD couldn't believe how old it all is. DS has no real concept of time anyway.

squirrel I'm sorry you're so sad and missing your lovely John Glad you have some fond memories to look back on.

I have an hour tomorrow to spend just with DD before she goes away for 10 days and straight back to work Monday. Then there is DD's room is being repainted and a trip to ikea for new furniture, so in short - not really!

Sleep well all, I'm loving being back in my bed!

Hello all, hope all OK.

book happy birthday to you! Hope you've had a lovely day

Willow sorry you're having difficulties with DS. No advice, just a handhold and solidarity. Raising teens is hard.

Chasing sorry you are missing John, must be so hard seeing his family & him not being there . Glad the boys will be back home with you tomorrow.

So today I finally sorted out the airing cupboard, it's been bugging me for ages. Then went out shopping with DS3 and took the dogs for a walk this evening. DH was out cycling all day & he's just got back totally knackered.