Friend doesn't want me at event - WWYD?

[weaselface]

Name changed as this is outing!

My group of friends organised going to a music festival that's happening next weekend. I couldn't get a ticket at the time but am volunteering at the festival so I get a ticket as part of that.

Stayed over at my best friend's last night, and this morning overheard her on the phone talking to one of our mutual friends.

The jist of the conversation was 'Weasel is going to Festival after all... I know, I'm so annoyed, I thought there was no chance at this point. She has the whole weekend off as well, so we can't shake her off'

I am gutted :( I have depression and huge issues around self esteem and feeling secure in friendships. This is the first time ever I've thought I had a solid group of friends, and this particular girl is supposed to be my best mate.

I'm tempted not to go, but I've paid a deposit for my spot which I would lose. The other option is to try and find some additional paid bar work at the festival, but it's a 12 hour shift both days for crap money. Another part of me is tempted to go and be the life and soul of the party. I just wouldn't enjoy myself thinking they're laughing/moaning behind my back :(

Sorry for the epic post, guess I just needed to vent! Any tips on how to make the weekend more bearable?

I also suspect you were meant to hear. How horrible and upsetting.

Go and have a good time, and dump the lot of them, if she is talking like that to your other 'friends', they must feel the same. I am so sorry that they were not the friends you thought they were, what a nasty individual. They are nasty and fake, and I bet the lot of the gossip about you, which is awful and not what good friend do.

Don't go. You are better off without them. And I wouldn't waste your time texting or asking her about it either - it will serve no purpose and will probably make you more upset. Say nothing, hold your head high and walk away.

What the actual fuck?? Weaselface, that is absolutely horrific and if I were you I would be locked in a toilet crying my eyes out right now so I think you must be a stronger person for being able to write it all down. Firstly, I think you should read your original post and change the title in your head to: 'I think my best friend is actually a bitch who I no longer want in my life' and then you can choose if you feel up to a weekend volunteering, enjoying the festival, avoiding a bunch of people who you are well rid of (I personally don't like the idea of trying to be the life and soul for that group of shits, I don't think they deserve your energy!) or do you want to spend a weekend at home? Holy shit. Yesterday someone who I thought was admittedly not a brilliant friend showed herself up in a flash of realism and I got a glimpse of how low her opinion of me actually is. I feel a bit resentful that I have just helped her out with childcare so much. But I can't change that and I like her kids and so do my kids so there's not much to be done. So sorry, that must have really hurt to hear, but unfortunately, sometimes we need to hear the truth.

Op has every right to go in her own right, she will be part of the crew, and not them, why let them get the upper hand, I think it will make you feel worse.

She said that with you in the house?? She's pretty fucking stupid isn't she, as well as nasty.

If it's the festival I'm thinking of this weekend, it's big. There's loads to do without trying to meet up with people (and that is always tricky!). Your shifts will take up a fair bit of time. You can camp with other volunteers rather than with your 'friends'. There's talks and shows, swimming and just wondering around the site as well as bands. Definitely go and tell the friend you overheard so won't be joining them. I've been to this festival and actually ended up going off on my own because I needed a break from the people I was with.... it would be very easy not to see them. I think you should go and have an adventure, and be around people who value you!

Why do grown women act like this? It was bad enough in middle school!

You might make new friends at the festival, whilst they will be busy deciding on the next victim from their midst. Then they will proceed to be ghastly to that person. The two left standing after several repeats are the worst pieces of work. They really do sound like early teens.

Unless you really, really can't face it - go.

Ignore them as far as possible and hook up euthanasia the other volunteers. You might find lovely new people that way, who might become friends idc.

I wouldn't tell the old group why I was no longer much in touch (if in touch at all). I'd just let it wither.

But if any if them asked (unlikely) then I would say that once I knew they wanted to shake me off I decided it was time to bring nicer different things into my life.

That sounds really upsetting for you op. I think you two are going to have to talk to give your friendship any chance. If were you, I think I'd tell her what I heard and just see what she has to say about it. You did only hear one side of the conversation, there is a chance that it's not as bad as it sounds.

Do you take drugs? I once had a paranoid hallucination that people were talking about me that I would absolutely have sworn blind was real at the time. It wasn't.

What I would do? Go and hang out alone or with the volunteers. Actively take steps to avoid friendship group. Post lots of pictures on FB about what a great time I had. And never ever have anything to do with those arseholes again.
You don't need to worry about why these people don't like you. Anyone who would deliberately try and exclude someone in this way is an arsehole. Be glad to be disliked by people like that.

Was your "best friend" DEFINITELY referring to you? Is it worth making sure that the conversation wasn't:
BF "Weasel is going to Festival after all"
Other end of phone "Ok great, omg though did you hear is going to be there too?"
BF "I know" &etc.

If that's not the case then yes ditch these two faced fake friends. But make sure you're sure first!

I have no idea why my keyboard inserted 'euthanasia' into my post.

The word I was attempting to type was 'with'

For the avoidance of doubt, I am not suggesting a mercy killing of either (probably nice) volunteer or even non-friends.

I'm so sorry Weasel. Your "friend" sounds vile. You will be well rid of her when she's out of your life.

I hope you can find other things to do at the festival with the other volunteers. They should be a nice enough bunch, and if you stay busy, you'll probably be too busy to worry about such vileness and enjoy yourself. I hope you make some new friends

If you do get more bar work, refuse to serve them. Just "don't see" them ...

Go to the festival, don't say anything to them about whether you are going or not but do let them know that you overheard the phone call. Then get away from them (you aren't still at her house are you?) and don't contact any of them again. Bitches.

AuntieStella

I think it was quite clear who she was talking about! I would not even bother with the friendship, you can talk to her about what you heard, but after that no.

That sounds horrible for you OP, I'm sorry you're in this situation.

I am not trying to suggest that this is the case in your situation, however, I would however like to share my own experience of a friend who was going through a tough time.

Our group was very supportive and cared a great deal for this friend. For months, if not years, every time we went out, this friend would become upset or angry, which meant that everyone else's enjoyment was disrupted, with us all comforting, reassuring and taking care of this friend. We each found it tough in our own way and there were certainly times I grew frustrated with being unable to enjoy a care free day or night out.

This may come across as selfish to others, but despite the great amount of love and sympathy I had for this friend, I did sometimes long for a drama free night out. At the risk of being flamed, I would have welcomed the occasional social gathering that she was unable to attend.

Again, this may be entirely irrelevant to your situation, but what I'm trying to say is that this friend apparently not welcoming your attendance at the festival may not be because she doesn't love, appreciate or enjoy spending time with you. There could be something else at play.

How rotten!!!

I would go, you will meet up with other volunteers and have a tremendous time.

I know it's hard, but try not to give them a moments thought. Vile person!

Ditch the worst best friend for good. I wouldn't go with her or I'd call the group out on it and find out what's going on.

It's an odd thing to do on all levels - have you stay over and also allow you to overhear the convo

Still allibright, if somebody thought of me like that, there is noway I would want to be their friend. I would feel a nusience, or burden. What op wants, is friends who are sincere and genuine, not fake ones putting on an act. Even if she finds a couple of those, so what, that's all you need. Friends who love all of her, and not gossiping about her, behind her back, they are not true friends.

I would rather have no friends, than friends who found me irritating, or annoying and rather me not be there. I just could not get passed that.