Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband on Tinder

182 replies

sunshiney78 · 12/07/2017 14:39

My single friend just informed me that she saw my husband on Tinder. I downloaded the app and can see that's he's there. We were separated for a few months a year ago. Is it possible that this is his profile from then??!!😨

OP posts:
RottenTomatoes959 · 12/07/2017 14:44

Wish I could say yes but no,if you haven't been on it your profile won't really show up. Sorry

m4rdybum · 12/07/2017 14:45

Possibly - how likely are you to believe him if he says that when you ask him about it? If you're not going to believe him even though he could be telling the truth, then perhaps set up a fake account, and message him on Tinder to see if he replies?

Original poster
sunshiney78 · 12/07/2017 14:46

Oh ok thanks. My friend said that maybe he deleted the app but didn't delete his profile? I have reason to doubt him.

OP posts:
Adora10 · 12/07/2017 14:46

I'd go on Tinder myself in disguise and message him, then you will know for sure.

Adora10 · 12/07/2017 14:47

Or get your single friend to do it.

Original poster
sunshiney78 · 12/07/2017 14:48

How do you message? I swiped left?

OP posts:
FreakinScaryCaaw · 12/07/2017 14:48

Sorry to hear that. I've been in a similar situation years ago but was just a partner. Easily dumped.

JustMumNowNotMe · 12/07/2017 14:49

Isn't tindr linked to your Facebook profile? If it is he my have another facebook profile you don't know about too Sad

Original poster
sunshiney78 · 12/07/2017 14:52

Ok I swiped left, so now I wait & see if he messages.

OP posts:
Original poster
sunshiney78 · 12/07/2017 14:52

I mean swiped right

OP posts:
FreakinScaryCaaw · 12/07/2017 14:55

Have you gone incognito?

Original poster
sunshiney78 · 12/07/2017 14:57

Yes

OP posts:
Rayraybt2006 · 12/07/2017 14:57

It tells you when someone was last active on their account....

hellsbellsmelons · 12/07/2017 14:59

I don't think it has to be linked to your facebook.
You can link it to email??

It's not looking good though OP.
If you did swipe right then he will need to swipe you right as well for a match.
Then you can message.
You can't until you both like each other though.

Original poster
sunshiney78 · 12/07/2017 15:01

Rayray, how can you tell if someone was last active?

OP posts:
Original poster
sunshiney78 · 12/07/2017 15:04

He'll be home around 5:30, I'll ask to see his phone & check if the app is on there. If it's not, then it's probably an old profile. If he refuses to show me his phone, then he's probably active on there.

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 12/07/2017 15:08

That's not a reliable method -there's a lot of ways to disguise apps; or he may be deleting it on the way home and reinstalling when he feels like it. It'd be brazen to keep it on his phone around you!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 12/07/2017 15:09

Also, someone may be able to confirm, but my understanding was that Tinder didn't keep profiles that aren't active. If they aren't being used; they don't show. If you delete the app, it doesn't show.

JasAnglia94 · 12/07/2017 15:28

He's actively been on it. Tinder basically works based on your location and when you were last on. He's been on it recently.

I hope he swipes right to you and you can find out why he's on there.

This happened to my sister as well but she just confronted her OH. I think she should have gone incognito and caught him out. Her confronting him just meant he apologised and stopped for a while, then a couple of months afterwards was at it again. Angry

2littlemoos · 12/07/2017 15:47

If what the PPs say is true then I am so sorry OP Flowers

What an utter wanker Angry

Adora10 · 12/07/2017 15:49

It amazes me these men that are in marriages and relationships are all over tinder and POF, do they not give a fuck that their wives friends and family may see them, it's unreal.

Original poster
sunshiney78 · 12/07/2017 15:50

Ok ladies, he's just admitted to creating it last week because we were having issues then. 😞

OP posts:
Adora10 · 12/07/2017 15:52

He had to admit it. What a sorry sorry excuse for being a cheat. God help you if you have further issues then OP.

Sorry, I hope you have told him where to go.

ofudginghell · 12/07/2017 16:02
Confused How shit. How long have you been married? Do you have dc ? Has he cheated before?
Original poster
sunshiney78 · 12/07/2017 16:10

Will be 7 yes in Aug. have a DD5. I didn't think he cheated before, but I'm not sure. A bit naive as he cheated on his first wife.

OP posts: