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Original poster

Men who are not getting enough satisfying sex

295 replies

PacificDogwod · 18/06/2017 15:05

What happens to them?!
Do they explode or something??

WTAF gives them the right to pressurise their partners for sex or humiliate them or 'threaten' to go elsewhere??

What happens to women who are not getting enough satisfying sex?
Just suck it up as long as you are satisfying yer man?

There are FAR too many threads about this 'problem' currently and I am putting my stance on this in this one to save me repeating myself: Fuck that for a game of soldiers!

I totally get that there can be a mismatch in sexual desire in a couple and that IS a problem, but how it should be addressed is surely not by abuse and humiliation and pressure??

For the record: NOTHING happens to men who are not ejaculating as often as they might think they'd like. And anyway, surely that's what the shower or an old sock is for?!

Guys, up yer game.

Women, get angry Thanks

OP posts:
Anatidae · 18/06/2017 15:06

Agree 100%

It's the usual shit isn't it? Men are entitled to use women's bodies. Utter bollocks.

AnyFucker · 18/06/2017 15:10

  1. Their balls turn blue and drop off

  2. Their brains fall out of their stupid mouths

Delete as appropriate

thestamp · 18/06/2017 15:12

It's awful isn't it.

I have a high drive. My ex used to withhold sex to punish me. Even then my response was to have a cry in private and move on with my life. Not to be horrible and manipulative to him.

The socialization of men to feel entitled to women's bodies is scary.

Original poster
PacificDogwod · 18/06/2017 15:14

The socialization of men to feel entitled to women's bodies is scary.

It truly is.
And they believe in this 'right' so thoroughly they don't recognise it as socialisation rather than some additional Newton's Law Hmm

I wish also (victim blaming coming up) that more women got angry rather than merely sad.

Sorry Blush

Angry
OP posts:
IP1974 · 18/06/2017 15:18

I totally get it! The tantrums and strops my ex used to have were outrageous! Groping my boobs whenever he felt like it, calling me alsorts because I didn't want sex then and there!!! Did he believe his tantrums would make me desire him more???!!! Ermmm NO

Anatidae · 18/06/2017 15:21

There's another thread I've just been on where a poster is feeling uncomfortable because a colleague has a crush and is pushing her to go out 'for a drive' and she's worried about letting g him down gently.

That's it in a nutshell really. MAn is entitled. Woman is worried about saying no in case she's perceived to be not nice. fucking depressing (and I met my dh at work!)

Original poster
PacificDogwod · 18/06/2017 15:24

It is depressing.

And infuriating in equal measure.

OP posts:
Lostmyemailaddress · 18/06/2017 15:40

It took me a long time to get over the mindset that a man's pleasure was no more important than mine.

I have a mix set of boys and girls dc my oldest 2 are boys aged 13 and 12 I have already drilled it into them that their sister's are as equal to them in all aspects of life and as the others get older I will have the same talk with them.

The whole respecting no means no tv campaign helped open up the discussion with my oldest about why it is important to be able to have control of your body regardless of whether your male or female and respecting everyone's choice what they choose to do with their bodies. When my dds get to an age of where is appropriate to discuss it with them that it's perfect ok and within their right to say no and mean it and others reaction to that is no reflection on them. I am hoping the younger I can get it into their mindset that they don't have to put up with any type of behaviour that makes them uncomfortable or hurts them in anyway then it's their right to say so and to walk away. It's something I wish someone would have done for me then maybe in the past I would have had the confidence and strength to walk away from situations that where harmful not only physically but emotionally and mentally.

WhatWouldGenghisDo · 18/06/2017 15:42

It makes me incandescent with rage OP if that's any help Angry Angry Angry

Lexieblue · 18/06/2017 15:43

I think they develop Man Flubola

Luckily there's a cure called Get A Grip,you sad pathetic bastard.

Even in dry spells, I have never been remotely concerned that lack of clitoral stimulation would somehow leave me no other option than to shout,sulk or start a war.

Not all men do this though just the cuntbadgers Wink

NameChanger22 · 18/06/2017 15:46

In all my previous relationships I felt pressured for sex constantly. The men I met all seemed to want sex at least twice a day. I've been single for 9 years now, I wonder why? It's far nicer living without that nonsense.

WhatWouldGenghisDo · 18/06/2017 15:48

No means no is all very well but every time you turn on the telly you are confronted with romanticised (overt or covert) sexual violence. I think we are all men and women taught in so many subtle ways that this is how relationships work that we genuinely struggle to see that we should really just turn a hose on them and leave at the first hint of it

Original poster
PacificDogwod · 18/06/2017 16:25

I think I will need to hide the Relationship topic - makes me too frustrated with impotent rage Angry

'No means no' is fine and dandy and an important campaign, but again it puts women in the position of having to 'police' men's sexual behaviour because, you know, the poor dears are such slaves to their urges.... Ugh.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 18/06/2017 16:28

"A lack of an enthusiastic yes means no" is preferable

Man1974 · 18/06/2017 16:28

The pertinent point is probably "relationships that are not getting enough satisfying sex".

Most men are happy to provide all sorts of support, effort, work and dare I say it, sex, but it should be a team.

Original poster
PacificDogwod · 18/06/2017 16:35

Oh, I am not talking about mismatched sex drives.
And I am not talking about good, healthy relationship in which these things get sorted out with love and understanding.

Man1974, I know what I meant with my OP, no need to me out there Hmm

OP posts:
rolopolovolo · 18/06/2017 16:39

If you're not talking about mismatched sex drive, then why frame it like this?

Men who are not getting enough satisfying sex have the same issues as women not getting enough satisfying sex. It can make them unhappy and they have a right to leave their relationship because of it.

rolopolovolo · 18/06/2017 16:40

What I mean is, why not just call it what it is: rape and sexual coercion. They are bad, yes? Men don't rape because they aren't getting enough sex, do they?

You're almost helping perpetuate the myth that men rape because they aren't getting enough sex.

Original poster
PacificDogwod · 18/06/2017 16:43

It can make them unhappy and they have a right to leave their relationship because of it.

Yes, they do.
They have no right to call names, humiliate, put pressure on their partners, abuse, sexually coerce or demand sex.
Read some of the posts on this board FFS.

Rape has very little to do with sex and I think you know that, rolo.
It has to do with control and power and entitlement.

'Perpetuating the myth"? Really?! Hmm

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 18/06/2017 16:45

That is their frame of reference though. "I'm not getting enough satisfying sex so I'm bad tempered so it's all her (usually) fault." Using that frame of reference, what happens ? Men get bad tempered and their testicles fall off? No?

AnyFucker · 18/06/2017 16:46

I think you must have posted on the wrong thread, rolo

Man1974 · 18/06/2017 17:12

To be fair MN is full of hypocritical man whipping posts but I would appreciate a partner who is emancipated enough to also want a sexually satisfying relationship too.

Not directed at anyone just my opinion and from observing MN for the last few months.

TheNaze73 · 18/06/2017 17:14

You're quite right OP. It's not right at all.

The correct way for them to deal with is to leave the relationship for someone they're more in sync with.

emilybrontescorset · 18/06/2017 17:32

I would say the majority of people want a sexually satisfying relationship.
That's the thing right there.
Is it sexually satisfying?
I have been slated on threads which men start saying their partner doesn't want sex blah blah blah for daring to ask is he giving her an orgasm.
If not when I've said well there's your answer right there, certain posters get all frothy at the mouth.
I'll say it again, if I'm not going to orgasm then wtf should I help a man orgasm?
It has to be good for both adults.
If your sex drives are equally matched then ask yourself why your wife isn't keen to have s sex with you.
Again a lot of men don't want to hear the real reason , preferring to blame their wife for the lack of interest rather than making it something she will want again and again.
I'm quite sure if the tables were turned and a woman demand a man have sex with her until she orgasmed, regardless of how enjoyable it was for him men would be less inclined to want it.

TDHManchester · 18/06/2017 17:40

It all sounds a bit one sided.

As i man it would be a cold day in hell beofre i would beg/pressurise a woman for sex. I'd much rather masturbate. In fact i am so far in that direction that sometimes i cant see a good shag when it is practically being offered on a plate !

My sex life is one of equality. If a female partner wants sex its a shared thing, no pressure either side.

I would find it personally demeaning and degrading to expect/beg/expect any women to surrender to my exual advances for any reason other than she truly wanted to.

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