Men who are not getting enough satisfying sex

[PacificDogwod]

What happens to them?!
Do they explode or something??

WTAF gives them the right to pressurise their partners for sex or humiliate them or 'threaten' to go elsewhere??

What happens to women who are not getting enough satisfying sex?
Just suck it up as long as you are satisfying yer man?

There are FAR too many threads about this 'problem' currently and I am putting my stance on this in this one to save me repeating myself: Fuck that for a game of soldiers!

I totally get that there can be a mismatch in sexual desire in a couple and that IS a problem, but how it should be addressed is surely not by abuse and humiliation and pressure??

For the record: NOTHING happens to men who are not ejaculating as often as they might think they'd like. And anyway, surely that's what the shower or an old sock is for?!

Guys, up yer game.

Women, get angry

"There are lots of things I do because my partner wants to but that I don't have all that much interest in."

Sexual things? Do they involve you being penetrated?

It's one of the moments in Deadpool that I found interesting. There's a long montage of them shagging for various 'holidays'. On International Women's Day the joke is that she's got a strap-on.

There's a joke, but there's also a point.

PacificDogwood, whatever Toodle's experience of her first relationship and life before that was, it wasn't entirely normal because she spent a fair bit of time off her face on drink or drugs and obviously had lousy self esteem. That isn't applicable to society as a whole and IME asking any woman for sex more than once invariably backfires. Every chap I know knows this. Some men, and some women, tolerate miserable abusive relationships for the sake of being in one. Easily done, done it myself because it was psychologically easier. My problem, not society's.

Oh now we are going to discuss the biological imbalance of sex due to penetration.

God help us.

Wonder how male gay sex would be viewed by that rationale.

An imbalance of libido in a gay relationship I mean

Sadly, Toodle's experience far more widespread than you might want to think, dogfish.

In medieval times, women were thought to have much higher sex drives than men. There's no evidence whatsoever that men need or want sex more than women (on average) it's basically a rape myth.

Don't change the subject. IME men who say "I do XYZ that I'm not interested in for my partner so she should let me shag her when she's not interested" are not talking about doing things for their that equate to being bodily penetrated. Ergo they see women as a collection of fuck-holes. HTH

Many men's defences of their own behaviour just demonstrate that they don't see unwanted sexual attention or touching as that big a deal for women

The old 'I put the bins out so now you need to blow me' entitlement.

Fuck that.

I like living dangerously ...

IfNot With respect, I know what you are saying. But for many people, they could become a sexual athlete of Olympic standards, and it still it isn''t go to alter an imbalance of sexual desire

AnyFucker I thought we were talking here about people in a long-term relationship where there is already a significant degree of sexual attraction. If you fancy your partner, why wouldn't you want to make them happy? Sounds rather purist to me. Or have you never done or would you never do anything for a partner to make them happy?

Penetration is relevant. If the price of sex was to be anally penetrated with much warmup or adequate lube would male posters remain as keen?

@Man1974 it's not about that. It's about penetration being the 'point' of sex. If you think about the media, the message is that penetrative sex is the point. That's the end point, that's the finale. Very few films and TV programs even allude to anything else.

Penetration is one, not the most effective for women, aspect of sex. Almost always an orgasm for men that way, certainly not always for women.

It's also one of the riskiest aspects of sex, in terms of pregnancy and STIs.

For the record, the purpose of this thread is not man bashing or asking people to justify their own life choices or actions.

I started it in the hope that some women who are asking themselves whether quite how shit they feel in their relationship and whether it is their fault that their partner is behaviour horribly towards them may read it. I am saying that NO, this is not a normal way to feel in a good relationship and it is NOT their fault for not servicing their man enough.

Reality's epic post which is stickied at the top of the Relationship board bears posting here.

I am beginning to think that she wrote it out of similar frustration as I felt today - just too many threads from downtrodden, unhappy, abused women, seeking responsibility for their unhappiness in their behaviour.

This has nothing to do with gay relationships or with all the things we do in a good relationship to make life nicer or easier for our partner.
FFS.

My OP is not even about penetration.

It's about the expectation of sex and the subsequent huffing/sulking/kicking off/withdrawal of affection etc etc if not forthcoming.

For the record my last post was not intended to make any comment whatsoever about gay sex. I was assuming that gay men would not need to do a thought experiment about what it might feel like to be penetrated if you weren't really into it. Apologies if it came across wrong.

^I didn't say you beat your wife. But getting "slightly aggressive" if you don't get as much sex as you want makes you sound like a prick. In your own words, not mine.You think others around you don't pick up on your barely contained violence ? Flinging a mower around is confrontational and intimidating. It says "look what I could do to you, if I felt like it"
am sure you will write me off as a hysterical feminist, but some men genuinely don't seem to realise the signals they give out. I put it down to stupidity.^

As a woman, I agree with AF. *

• I've decided to start prefacing my posts with 'as a woman', when combating mansplaining.

I think that the myth that men have needs and cannot be without porn style sex, is the reason so many men still get away with treating their partners like shit. It s actually fairly insulting to most normal men as well as to women who,'ssexual desires are thus made out to be unimportant and secondary to men's.

My point is that relationships without satisfying sex often die.

And that is sometimes due to negative perceptions of sex by women who see it as a duty to service their men.

I do not see it as a negative if my women asks or needs me to service her. I see it as an intimate request from the one I love.

At least 90% of men agree it's wrong to pressure their partners into sex, if yours don't agree then you're probably hanging out with the wrong crowd.

107% of statistics are completely made up.

To withhold anything in a relationship knowing your partner likes it is just plain destructive.

Do you realise how rapey that sounds? Do you even see it? That's what teen boys say to their girls friends to make them fuck them. It's what abusive men say to get anal sex.

My point is that relationships without satisfying sex often die

Relationships where men don't have satisfaction often die. As has been explained women are already accepting fewer orgasms and more sexual harassment. But we survive.

man1974 I don't disagree with you. I would add though that women who service their men out of duty (rather than desire) are generally doing so because they know said men will make their lives hell if they don't, as per the OP.

Did you ever stop to wonder why your wife does say no? Ever? When angrily bashing the lawnmower around?

Here's a hint. If something feels unbelievable and amazing, and mind blowing... you don't say no to it. Sex is a legitimate cure for menstruatal cramps, headaches, it's brilliant. When done properly. If she says no, it's because it's not being done properly. Or you've been a massive knob.

I can say with some certainty that I've never had great sex with anyone who refers to it as 'servicing'.