Dh just slapped 3 year old dd

[bluebell321]

Dh was just putting dd to bed while I was tidying and heard her suddenly start screaming and crying- ran upstairs and dh had slapped her. She was being a typical 3 year old and refusing to sleep but ended up throwing her dummy and hitting him in the eye and that was his natural reaction. He does sometimes have a short temper and can shout but in on the whole a v good dad and never done anything like this before. At first he started making excuses and saying it wasn't that bad until l sent him photos of her red cheek. Now he's saying he feels awful and is really sorry. Literally in shock and don't know what to do.

So a child who hasn't been parented properly can justifiably be slapped by the parent who is failing to parent them?

"In some cases yes, you're teaching a child if they hit someone they are going to get hit back. "

Hit By an adult. A supposedly trusted adult.

I was had. Bengal good joke. I can't say I like your topic, but hey we all get our kicks somehow.

Just one point to be clear on next time you're telling jokes. When you start beating kids to get them to behave, please make sure you're willing to beat them to death. The thing about some kids is they just won't be told, so beating them until they can't misbehave is the only right minded way to go about it. Once you've beaten them to death job done, well behaved kid!

If you're not convinced there are lots of examples in the news. Enjoy reading them for reference material.

Agree with PP in that I really hope DD mentions to someone at nursery.

At least would save OP the hassle of ringing the police and SS herself.

Have you phoned yet OP? Or are you sweeping everything under the carpet.

Over 200 posts urging you to do the right thing but you've gone quiet.

What next?

Trying to understand.
Hypothetically speaking.
Parent loses control and slaps a child once round the face.
No previous history of this at all
Parent devastated
According to posters urging OP 'to do the right thing', and contact SS, police called, parent thrown out subsequently divorced by other parent.

Have I got that right? Is this the only alternative? Will it be a case of 'He will do it again'?
My dad lost his rag with me once when I was very young and smacked me on the face. The only time he ever did it.
As long as it is not on the face other types of smacking would not warrant the same response.

beyondworried i would give my partner an ultimatum. Anger management course/classes or out. I am one of few who wouldn't call police and SS. If the child is taken away from the parents the consequences are often much much worse. However, it has never happened to me/my children, so maybe I would feel differently if it did.
If the DD is 3 and he hasn't lost his rag before in testing times, there is hope to save marriage and DD having a relationship with her father.

I am inclined to agree with you Dire
I suppose it's easy to play judge and jury on here but I imagine if posters were themselves faced with a similar dilemma I wonder how many would be kicking the parent out on the spot and calling police/SS/solicitors
It is a shame a number of posters are becoming quite unpleasant over the fact the OP has not come back on. The post above mine from Daily is a good example. I hope she is ok. An dreadful situation indeed.

How would you feel if he slapped your face if you were rude to him, this is no different. It isn't acceptable it is abuse.
Quite honestly I'd force him to attend anger management or leave the home. This cannot go on. What does he do when you are not there?

My SIL and DB (not in UK )both smack their children but my SIL was reported because she left a mark on my DN's cheek. She had to attend to anger management classes. I'm not convinced that she has stopped hitting her children -I think she is just more careful where she hits them.

I don't think the OP will be back. I worry for her poor DD . If she's anything like my dd then she will tell someone at nursery. I accidentally caught dd with my nail once (felt awful) and the first thing she did when she walked in to school was tell the teacher mummy scratched her.

I know it can be a shock when this happens but your dd needs you now to protect her.

Wow this is really sad

Just to say that I've investigated child abuse and in all my time I never dealt with a case where the mother reported the partner ( unless it was an ex). It was either from an other relative like a grandparent or through disclosure by the child to a third party ( school etc). I didn't raise this on my earlier post because I didn't want the OP to keep the child away from nursery. ( although I have no way of knowing if she goes ). I think the majority who claim they would report their partner are deluding themselves. If there were no other issues of violence someone's more likely to find a justification such as " he was under stress" etc. Please be realistic.

meet one.

Yep, and I have already posted about my friend doing the same.

Meet another.

Grim. I bet the OP ends up intervening in any fraught situation between her husband and daughter & the little one picks up on the tension. That's if he doesn't hit her again.