Dh just slapped 3 year old dd

[bluebell321]

Dh was just putting dd to bed while I was tidying and heard her suddenly start screaming and crying- ran upstairs and dh had slapped her. She was being a typical 3 year old and refusing to sleep but ended up throwing her dummy and hitting him in the eye and that was his natural reaction. He does sometimes have a short temper and can shout but in on the whole a v good dad and never done anything like this before. At first he started making excuses and saying it wasn't that bad until l sent him photos of her red cheek. Now he's saying he feels awful and is really sorry. Literally in shock and don't know what to do.

Not good enoigh

Op is this type of behaviour going to become common place in your household?

If this guy can whack his 3yo dd for having a tantrum, what will he actually stop at? No amount of "please don't do that again or else" will change someone who has this kind of temper, trust me!

Maybe I need to take back the comment I wrote about speaking to him and making sure it doesn't happen again.

But I just thought it was harsh that people were telling OP to contact the police, like I have previously said I have never ever been hit by anyone and I would never hit my DS

But on the other hand there are some very unruly, rude and spiteful child that do actually need a slap because that's the only language they understand.

Not so long ago I was on the train and there was this family... mum dad and two children a girl and a little boy, the little boy had a tantrum because he was told to sit down by dad, then the little boy just started slapping him the slaps then turned into punching.

I was disgusted at the little boys behaviour and it is obvious the parents fault and no doubt what he was doing is regular thing in their household.

Now that little boy was the example of a child that needed to be slapped, I bet him the dad would have slapped him back he would have soon started to behave.

I'm not going to jump all over you, OP, but be aware that your dd could very easily tell someone at nursery about this and they will, and rightly so, report it.

You would be much better off reporting it yourself so there's no chance of them them thinking you can't keep your dc safe.

My brother slapped me hard on the cheek when I was 4 and he was 16, for being late out of school.

I still remember the shock I felt.

You have a think about it tomorrow OP.

Not ok OP...but could you clarify if it was bum cheek or face cheek!!

You'll think about it tomorrow?

So absolutely no urgency at all then. This is clearly a priority for you.

"We are ok"

That's nice, what about your tiny daughter who's just been slapped in the face by a grown fucking man though?

Threads like this blow my mind.

She said her daughters cheek was red in the OP.

'But on the other hand there are some very unruly, rude and spiteful child that do actually need a slap because that's the only language they understand.'

WTAF. No 3 year old needs a slap. Do you know how small 3 is? Fucking hell

OP, as a PP has just said you really need to report before your daughter goes to nursery- there is every chance she'll tell them. It's better to alert the authorities before they get in touch with you.

The OP would have said bottom if she meant her bottom, let's be serious.

Wow your 3 year old daughter has been assaulted and you'll give it some thought tomorrow?

I don't think any advice people have given on this thread will matter to you, the longer you leave it the clearer it becomes you have no intention to do anything.

But be aware if your daughter mentions the assault to another person and they report it you will be seen as possible complicit in the offence.

Notice I call this an offence, an assault. Your daughter has been assaulted and you're sticking your head in the sand. I feel desperately sorry for your children that they clearly have no advocate in their family who would put their needs and saferty first.

No child needs a slap. There are better ways to discipline a child that do not involve assault. I was beaten it took 30 years to realise that it wasn't OK and it didnt happen to everyone else.

"Unruly rude and spiteful ..."
NOONE NEEDS a slap you're being nasty and judgmental.

We tried , that's al we can do.

I'm now wondering if this whole thing is true

I feel so sorry for your poor little girl.

I'm thinking of phoning the NSPCC about this. A previous forum I was on were able to give details to the police of a woman who was so severely beaten she couldn't see when she spoke of another beating and feeling dizzy and the didn't for days.

I'd be insisting on him taking anger managment. because having a short temper is unacceptable as an excuse.

Have you posted before about this? Or has he slapped her again ffs OP if this is the same person will you please get off your arse and fucking DO something to protect your DD!

Why do some people even bother posting about stuff like this if they have no intention of doing anything about it???

Ridiculous.

Getting angry with a poster who isn't doing the right thing isn't helpful even though it's frustrating. Ideally,of course she should've called the police and kicked him out but that hasn't happened and she's unlikely to seek advice again if people pile in accusing her if being a troll etc.

I get the previous points re not hassling OP. However I think it's still worth folk posting the way they are now.

OP is being left in NO doubt as to how others would see this. The posts all saying the same thing are hopefully helping destroy the possibility of OP minimising this successfully in her mind. And I think that's worth it - it's a hard situation to be put in, you like to think that you'd do the right thing but for some folk it clearly isn't so clear cut.. probably especially when you've got a 'shocked, tearful' partner promising not to do it again.

OP two things.

If you go ahead with minimising this for the sake of not turning things upside down, you are left with a partner who can lose his temper and assault your child. She's at risk. A good, safe parent doesn't do that. No use saying 'but it was just shock... he lost his temper... he'll never do it again...' - NO. The point is he DID. A normal good parent wouldn't. They just wouldn't have that reaction. He's a risk, he's assaulted your child and she could be injured.

Secondly. If she goes to nursery and says a word about this, you are in deep shit. Really, really deep shit.

This is why parenting classes were created to teach parents how to stay cool in stressful situations. Its not what he says it what he does about it now and going forward. He should never have lost it like that he needs to learn how to parent his child.