Dh just slapped 3 year old dd

[bluebell321]

Dh was just putting dd to bed while I was tidying and heard her suddenly start screaming and crying- ran upstairs and dh had slapped her. She was being a typical 3 year old and refusing to sleep but ended up throwing her dummy and hitting him in the eye and that was his natural reaction. He does sometimes have a short temper and can shout but in on the whole a v good dad and never done anything like this before. At first he started making excuses and saying it wasn't that bad until l sent him photos of her red cheek. Now he's saying he feels awful and is really sorry. Literally in shock and don't know what to do.

Where is he now?

I have smacked before, but even I think that he has lost control and it's completely unacceptable to slap any child around the face.

You must be feeling so confused right now, he needs to realise what an awful thing it was for him to do. Your poor DD.

Think of of it this way, if he'd slapped you in the face, what would you do?
Now consider this is a three year old who is not only so much smaller and vulnerable, and does not even have the choices you would have if it happened to you.
As long as he is in her life, she will now know that this is an option for him and if you don't take action now, she will know that you will let him do it.

Shit

I was with him until you said he slapped her cheek

Reactions are what they are; I slapped my 2yo once when he threw a plastic milk bottle in my face. It was a reflex, but it was no way hard enough to leave a mark and it wasn't on his face!!!!

It took me a long time to forgive myself even for that. But WTF was he thinking? I'd be very worried. Was he actually within arm's reach of her? Or did he walk over to her? Why her FACE FFS?!?

Smacking a 3 year old round the face and leaving a mark? What a fucking dick. Get rid.

I would slap him really hard. Then warn him not to go near her till you say so.

And a dummy to the eye is no excuse. My son threw a raging tantrum last night where he bit me, pulled my hair and repeatedly slapped me around the face - I put him in a time out and took a toy off him, I didn't think "right lets go" and start a bloody fight with him. Because I'm an adult who is able to regulate my emotions- not a toddler.

Holy shit, an adult man slapped a 3 year old girl in the face?

Oh my god, that's frightening.

Repeated for emphasis.

What an absolute cunt.

Yeah my Dd bit my dh the other month

Not just bit but fully latched on biting down bite.

He had a lovely mark on his arm with two weeks.

Now he can have a short temper when it comes to it but even he didn't raise his hand to his daughter.

His daughter who bit him.

A dummy is nothing

on the whole a v good dad and never done anything like this before

Don't try to defend him. A good dad wouldn't slap his daughter.

If you saw someone do this in the street, you would phone the police, right?

I try and avoid these threads because I have occasionally smacked a dcs bottom but. If this was my dh I would be rid of him, no excuse is good enough, if a mark is left on her face we would be history and hell would freeze over before he had access. But good luck, if you're on here talking about it he's presumably still there, as time goes on it will be harder to tell him to go. What will you do when he does it again though?

Fucking hell, he slapped her in the face hard enough to leave a mark?

Get him gone, now.

Shit, OP

Can you clarify whether it was bum cheek or face cheek. One I would view as a rather harsh method of discipline, the other as abuse

Well at least he didn't break her jaw eh?

You're just as bad if you don't do anything about this.

He's hurting your child and she should be above anything else. Please keep her safe and away from him.

If a man on the street slapped your child round the face, you'd be calling the police. It doesn't make it any more acceptable that he is her father. That's how you need to look at this OP. Make him leave. He needs help controlling his temper and he needs to be away from your tiny daughter.

If he's a good father, you making him leave right now will be the kick up the arse he needs to sort his shit out.

Revolting way to behave. OP is your husband from a country where this is acceptable? It's completely normal in my DH's home country. But he still thinks it's vile. I couldn't be with a man who did that, I wouldn't be able to trust him, he clearly can't control himself. This is really serious OP.

on the whole a v good dad

Yeah, now I know he's a shit. Every time a woman on here describes some shitawful indefensible thing her partner has done, she always tells us he's a great dad. I've seen women on here insisting their partners are great dads practically while holding beefsteaks to their eyes.

If I slapped my toddler across the face for any reason, nobody but nobody would try to describe me as a good mother. What the fuck is this shit? Women are harangued for not breastfeeding or giving their kids a Fruit Shoot, but men are paragons of parenthood for not actively trying to kill their kids?

Hear hear PY

Over and over men are held to different standards than women

Pisses me right off

Does he hit you too?

This is abuse. He lashed out in anger, he can't pass this off as discipline. He left a mark which goes beyond what the law defines as allowed and on the face? No.