Dh just slapped 3 year old dd

[bluebell321]

Dh was just putting dd to bed while I was tidying and heard her suddenly start screaming and crying- ran upstairs and dh had slapped her. She was being a typical 3 year old and refusing to sleep but ended up throwing her dummy and hitting him in the eye and that was his natural reaction. He does sometimes have a short temper and can shout but in on the whole a v good dad and never done anything like this before. At first he started making excuses and saying it wasn't that bad until l sent him photos of her red cheek. Now he's saying he feels awful and is really sorry. Literally in shock and don't know what to do.

Bengal No child needs assaulted

Secondly. If she goes to nursery and says a word about this, you are in deep shit. Really, really deep shit

I second that and it's likely. I remember when I was doing my training a little girl stood up in the middle of registration when her name was called and she had what I can only describe as an outpouring of emotion- about how her violent dad battered the door down at the weekend and then hit her mum. She then sat down and burst into tears. I can't remember her name now but I can remember her little frightened face as if it was yesterday

I am a massive believer than people are far, far too quick to say "LTB" on here. Especially when there are children involved. I also laugh at the number of people who advocate going to the police to "log" every minor incident.

But op....seriously?

My husband would be absolutely out on his ear for this, the moment it happened. And I would call the police. I can see that it would be tempting to just ask him to leave and leave it at that, but I'm not going to risk losing my daughter for anything. She comes first, she is the most important person in my life.

You need to be stronger for her. Don't let her down. You need to do all in your power to protect her. Your (frankly despicable) husband doesn't matter, and neither do your feelings.

I am angry at the OP. I am angry on behalf of her tiny daughter, who no one is protecting.

I almost hope she does mention it to the nursery. Maybe then you'll see how fucking grim this whole situation is.

Am I the only one waiting for "thread deleted" because the OP can't handle the truth ?
Poor little girl.

Your dd may well tell someone at nursery and nursery have the right to report it.

I would fucking tear him apart.

OP your child needs you to defend her.

I'd have all the sympathy in the world for the OP if she was showing a willingness to do the right thing.

As it is, I think she is almost as bad as he is.

Well, Bengal, I'm afraid witnessing a badly behaved child in public doesn't excuse common assault on a toddler being a bit stroppy at bedtime. Violent men don't generally change just by being told to, so again....what's your suggestion?

Or do I not want to know?

Bengal, you are a goady kipper aren't you ?

Do you read the Daily Mail ?

Bengal, slapping the child who was hitting his dad would simply give him the message that hitting people is fine.

Wow what a disgrace you are. Have read through the thread and cannot believe your replies.

If that was my husband he would be gone! What sort of man slaps a 3 year old little girl around the face?

How are you ok to kiss and sleep with this man? Disgusting! And you know what, you are just as bad as him. Replying with your brief comments like it doesn't matter.

I was smacked as a child and always think of it even now grown up, it's not even the smacking that bothers me as much anymore, it's the fact and disbelief that my own mother didn't do anything about it or protect me.

You don't even seem to care now you've had a night to think about it. What a fucking disgrace. You're gonna carry on like a little family, until when? He beats her? Hits her harder? God forgive you.

@PoorYorick how is slapping/smacking a child classed as common assault? If it was more than 40% of parents would be in the court room.

@AnyFucker you're totally irrelevant just like the questions you asked.

Because it was across the face and left a mark. And your having seen a badly behaved child elsewhere is utterly irrelevant.

You'd be happy to have that happen to your child, would you?

And your remark to AF isn't even enough to be an ad hominem. She could call you a smelly poo pants and it would be about on the same level.

Bengal.

I know this is going to sound like I personal attack but why don't you seriously just fuck off.

It is not okay to hit a child. It is extra not okay to hit a toddler. It is extra extra not okay to hit a child across the face. It is abusive

If you think that 40% of people hit their children then so what? If that is the case then 40% are indulging in abusive behaviour. Does that make it right huh? If lots of people do it does that make you feel better about it? Give me strength

The OP asked for advice on what to do going forward, she didn't ask whether someone could justify or minimise this atrocious behaviour. You are not helping anyone, you are infuriating and antagonising people with no supportive purpose whatsoever. I'm assuming you smack your children or have done so hence why you are so adamantly trying to convince pepole that it is ever acceptable.

You'd be happy to have that happen to your child, would you?

No I wouldn't I dread to think what I'd do if DP was to raise his hand to DS.. but that would never happen.

In England and Wales there is no ban on smacking and parents are allowed to use “reasonable chastisement”. However, hitting a child so hard that it leaves a mark, or causes bruising, swelling cuts, grazes or scratches could result in criminal charges

Just posting for Bengal again

You can wave goodbye to your children if nursery find out what happened and see you did nothing to protect them.

I don't like it at all. There's never any need for violence with a child.

I'm assuming you smack your children or have done so hence why you are so adamantly trying to convince pepole that it is ever acceptable. angry

Your assumption is wrong, I have never ever shouted at my son let alone raise my hand to him.

If he was a horrible child I would think of another punishment for her, such as take away his iPad or something, or no days out. Like I've said hitting is not the way forward but it's the only language that some children understand.

Secondly. If she goes to nursery and says a word about this, you are in deep shit. Really, really deep shit

I see a sick day.

I am a nursery manager and it is a form of abuse. Even though smacking isn't against the law in certain circumstances, I would say as a warning of danger... this is a different kind of smacking. You need to have a very serious conversation about this with this person. It shouldn't happen again.

Chuck him out and change the locks. Your dd needs to know you back her.