Not happy with the idea of being tracked.

[MattMurdock]

DW wanted me to install an app so she can see where I am (and me her) at all times.

When I said I didn't like the sound of that she said why what do you have to hide.

I don't have anything to hide, but I don't feel the need to know where she is 24/7 and I don't like that she wants to be able to keep tabs on where I am.

She's saying that it was just interesting and reassuring but I feel that its controlling and shows a lack of trust.

AIBU to feel upset about it. She's saying to forget it if that's how I feel but I'm worried that if I don't install it she'll feel that I do have something to hide.

[histinyhandsarefrozen]

Rolo, why would I say he should leave her if it were the other way round?

I think you are a little confused- there are lots of posters on mn, you get that right?

[NapQueen]

Does she work? She sounds like she has too much time on her hands to sit and track her dd so much, and seek out cross platform apps for her to traxk you too.

[FritzDonovan]

I'm not choosing to ignore anything OP.
Is the location sharing the one on google maps, or something else? Did you discuss these differences with her? Why is that detail so important to you?

[reluctantlondoner]

People banging on about trust issues are being very OTT and alarmist! Maybe it was just a practical request. E.g. For people with DCs helpful to see when one is on way back from activity with DCs to get dinner ready or something! Plenty of people I know do it (for practical, not stalker reasons) and they find it helpful. Someone I know once got really drunk and passed out and their friend was able to find them using it so it can be a useful safety feature too.

[TondelayaDellaVentamiglia]

Well, if I was the OP I am sure my wife would be VERY concerned about me...

I have location on my phone, I love maps and stuff and it pleases me to see/lookback on what I've been doing

I went for a bike ride earlier this week....and have just downloaded Endomondo to monitor improvements as am very much a beginner, aside from the fact that I forgot to switch that on until I stopped to catch my breath for a drink, it tracked my route perfectly. Googlemaps however refuses to acknowledge I left the house at all that day, and it's not the first time it has done that...am out for dog walking and the like most days

Yesterday I was in town for lunch with a friend, car to station, walking to lunch and back and return train/car all shown, plus a trip to tesco (sixty miles ish all in)AND yet somehow it also decided I was on a walk from town to a smaller village up the coast a mere 20 mile jaunt, yesterday's googlemaps is a sight to behold!

Explain that to a suspicious spouse!

[LiveLongAndProspero]

People banging on about trust issues are being very OTT and alarmist! Maybe it was just a practical request

Didn't you bother to RTFT?

[LiveLongAndProspero]

His daily commute includes walking across a major A road which has no pedestrian crossings so you have to take your life into your hands. I email every morning to check hrs arrived at work safe. I'd probably use it to check he'd managed to catch the train home for tea and to check that he'd got to the station okay in the morning.

Christ almighty, does your H have some kind of neurological condition? You check every morning that he has managed to cross the bloody road?

You have serious problems if you think this is normal behaviour. You need counselling at the very minimum.

[Lostinaseaofbubbles]

Stepping away from this thread. I represented myself badly. I've seen some horrible accidents involving pedestrians on that road and I do worry (there are lots of roads to cross, there's just one awful one). In reality I don't check up on him every day to make sure he's crossed the road okay, it's just we do tend to email during the day.

I was saying that in my situation I could see me suggesting it and it I would consider a benefit to it being able to check to set my mind at ease. It's alright. I don't make him hold hands at all road crossings. I'm not a complete loon!

That said, he doesn't even have a smartphone and if he happened to get one and I suggested it and he objected to the idea I would genuinely not really be bothered.

There really is no need to jump on me. I am neither tracking my DP nor am I saying that the OP should install the app. I'm merely saying it has its uses.

[Cakietea]

I'm still getting over the post abou the OPs DW texting him from upstairs to come up and commence sex completely misses point of thread

[SandyY2K]

If people want to know where their spouse is, why not call and ask them. It's not like their off hiking in a remote location and you need it for safety.

It's as though one is a prisoner with a tag. Good lord. I know some who have been cheated on use it, but my personal view is that if my relationship comes down to location tracking, it's over.

Having it for a child is different, but I don't feel the need to have it on my teenager's phones, although I can think of of times it might have reassured me when they didn't answer calls or texts.

If a husband who is getting dinner made for him, can't be bothered to phone and let his wife know he's on his way home, then I would say he can wait till it's ready or do it himself. If that happens a few times, he'd soon remember to call.

[CheeseQueen]

. She sits on her phone all night, if I go out for a drink with friends I'm sure she will be watching where I am throughout the evening, which pubs I visit, hell if she zooms in she might even be able to tell how many times I go to the toilet.

If DH installed one on me and did that, if I was you I'd be going to the local sleazy bars and strip club for a few drinks and then loitering outside a Premier Inn/Travelodge type place for an hour or so just to wind them up.
(but that's just me)

[CheeseQueen]

so if it hda been a woman comingon here saying her dh wants her tracked because its fun and he can see where she is what would the response be hmm

Yes, I can see the response would probably have been an unanimous LTB!

[MattMurdock]

I'm still getting over the post abou the OPs DW texting him from upstairs to come up and commence sex

It's not unusual for us TBF, she'll text, I'll finish whatever I'm doing, let the dog out for a wee, put my mug in the dishwasher etc. and then join her.

She was busy getting things organised for her weekend away with DD which is to do with an interest they share. It's half term so DD has turned almost nocturnal and goes to bed later than us. A text letting me know when she'd nearly finished doing the stuff she needed to was a bit more discrete than coming down stairs inviting me to come to bed, I think DW doesn't like the idea that DD might be aware that her parents actually have sex.

As for other questions raised.

Yes she works, she (we) are quite busy people, we both have interests which take us out on evenings. We have one day off together and so both have a day to ourselves when the other is working so she is not sat around being bored.

We have talked about it, before she went away, and she wants to put it behind us. She's assured me that its not a trust thing its because she worries, I have to accept that but equally I can't change how it came across to me or how I felt.

DW went away yesterday, she's not text to say she's arrived safely I wonder if she will say that we had the app I'd be able to check.....

[TulipsInAJug]

I'm finding this quite a disturbing thread. I trust my DH and have no desire to track him. If I want to know what time he's home for tea, I'll call him! It's called communication. The idea of creepily watching his every movement on a map freaks me out. And surely it enables anxiety issues.

We share everything and have access to each other's online bank accounts and emails, we've nothing to hide. But this would be a step too far.

anchor, why did you find it was the slippery slope for you and your OH?

[FeralBeryl]

As others have said-if it works for everyone then great!
Me, I'd hate it.
I'm currently sitting at my mum's having a covert sausage butty before I go home.
DH thinks I'm still at work I'm harming no one but he doesn't require this information so I won't offer it.
I would hate to have my movements recorded by anyone. I have not and will not ever cheat, I just like doing my own thing from time to time.

[RavioliOnToast]

Me and DH do this. Have done for years. He drives all around for work and it makes me happy to know I can see him on the move and know he's ok.

[Squishedstrawberry4]

It would be fine if she was your mum and you were 13

[TondelayaDellaVentamiglia]

she is playing games with you...not texting to say she has arrived is just plain rude.

[Sn0tnose]

If it works for other people and all parties are happy with it, then good for them, but it certainly wouldn't work for me and I'd be really cross if my DH suggested it so he could track my movements. It comes across as extremely controlling and would make me think my marriage had serious problems.

You say how she checks your daughter's belongings, does she do the same with you? Does she ask for passwords etc?

[Sn0tnose]

And if she's not texting you to say she's arrived safely purely so she can make a point, then that is downright manipulative.

[squoosh]

So creepy. It would be a flat out 'no' from me too OP. No I have nothing to hide but I do not need to be remotely monitored by technology. How claustrophobic.

Smart phones are really nurturing the inner stalker.

[HmmOkay]

Yeah, don't get drawn into asking her why she hasn't texted you. Just ignore it and enjoy your weekend.

Funny how she is anxious about your safety but can go for a day without contacting you at all in order to make a point, isn't it? You could have gassed yourself in the kitchen for all she knows.

Perhaps not that anxious about your safety after all.

[jeaux90]

Actually I'm not sure you can win. If you ask why she didn't say she text to let you know (a common courtesy) then she'll mention the app. If you don't ask then clearly you don't care. No win for you. (I'm totally against the app)

[PollytheDolly]

Is she anxious/worrier?

[LiveLongAndProspero]

If you RTFT you would already know the answer to that.