Not happy with the idea of being tracked.

[MattMurdock]

DW wanted me to install an app so she can see where I am (and me her) at all times.

When I said I didn't like the sound of that she said why what do you have to hide.

I don't have anything to hide, but I don't feel the need to know where she is 24/7 and I don't like that she wants to be able to keep tabs on where I am.

She's saying that it was just interesting and reassuring but I feel that its controlling and shows a lack of trust.

AIBU to feel upset about it. She's saying to forget it if that's how I feel but I'm worried that if I don't install it she'll feel that I do have something to hide.

[Cantseethewoods]

A friend of mine's husband can check her credit card online. One day he commented about where she had lunch and she was furious and only uses cash now

I have an additional CC on DH's account, so he could do this in theory, but judging by the number of unopened statements sitting on the desk, he's getting behind on his stalking

[eddielizzard]

no way. controlling and lacking in trust. is she controlling about other things?

[TheNaze73]

Dreadful idea. Who the hell does she think she is? Massive red flag

[Westray]

I would hate to have him turn his phone on to 13 missed calls with me just trying to catch him for a little chat during the day.

You would call up to 13 times a day just to try to have a chat?

Why not just one simple text message.

13 calls sounds stalkerish.

[purplecoathanger]

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. DH is welcome to track me to the park, work,the shops, my best friend's house, I couldn't care less.

[Spudlet]

We have it on our phones. We use it when the other is travelling - I can see how close DH is to home and decide whether to start putting DS to bed or to wait, DH used to use it to see how my train was getting on so he could be there to pick me up. I used it a lot recently as DMiL was dying, and I could see whether DH was still at the hospice or on the way home, and wait up or go to bed accordingly. We also both use it when the other person is driving a long distance so we can see how they're getting on and when they've arrived safely (we are both worriers by nature).

I've only tracked a whole journey of his once, and that was when he was on the way back to the hospice having just heard that she had passed away - he was so tired and I was worried about him driving when he was tired and upset.

We find it useful and not stalkerish, but it has to work for both parties. I don't think that installing one of these apps is a problem in itself, but not being able to talk about it sensibly is, IMO.

[LedaP]

No way would i want this.

I hsd an awful day at work last week. I manage to get a early finish. I didn't want to talk to anyone and went for a drive. The last thing i wanted was dh calking me asking why i was driving round and not in work.

I have a right to some privacy. The kids were at school and sorted. I have a right to do to go for a drive if i want to.

I know what time dh is due home, if he is going to be late he calls. Like an adult would i dont need to track him.

[Ikillallplants]

We have glimpse. I can send a link to OH so he can see me for a set amount of time. So of I am on a long trip I can set it for four hours or whatever, when the time runs out I am no longer visable.

[Mehfruittea]

OMG are you my DH?!

I just recently asked him to install a find me app. After the bomb in Manchester (we are close by) I want a way of knowing he is safe and vice versa. DS is too young for a phone. I'm disabled.

In an emergency evacuation DH would leave with DS as quickly as possible, I have to wait until last as I'm in a wheelchair. I'm ok with this.
DH also has a hobby, solo bike rides, and often goes late at night as it's the only time he gets. I just want to know he's safe. We have nothing to hide. Last night he got an alert that my phone had 9%battery left. Not weird or intrusive at all.

[HaPPy8]

We have find my iphone and findfriends and i have no problem with it - but then we don't use it to spy on each other just things like people have said above - has OH left work etc. Its really no biggie in our house and rarely mentioned!

[Fiona1984]

My partner likes to go cycling in a couple of remote locations. This could prove useful for these occasions, but there is no signal out there anyway. It's a case of 'if I'm not back by X time, call mountain rescue'
We totally trust each other, so no other need to have such an app. He has Bluetooth in his van so I can call him when he's driving anyway.

[SeaEagleFeather]

Reminds me of the old fashioned ASBO bracelets!

Agreed that it's fine if you both like the idea of it but if one of you doesn't, then it isn't going to work.

[DameDeDoubtance]

How often do you go cycling op?

[BluebellsNsunshine]

We call it the stalker app too!!! We both have it on our phones and on the children's phones. My MIL is always constantly messaging us if we are home safely yet etc when we go out so I installed it for her so she can stalk us if she wants. It saves the incessant messaging and checking in on us. She worriers way too much.

I kind of see it as a safety thing now esp since we both work in London with the threat level changing - or if we Or one of the kids lose their phones. Like pp said, you can disable it at anytime and often it doesn't work properly/accurately anyway. Only do it if you think you'll both be happy but I'd definitely consider your wife. Maybe she has trust issues and you need to consider how are you helping that by saying no? Will it reinforce her trust issues? Will it make your relationship a bit better if you installed it? Good luck.

[Fernanie]

We have this for the same reason as others, re meal planning, knowing if each other has been close to an incident, not wanting to risk calling in the middle of a meeting etc. The 'Android Device Manager' app sends your phone an alert every time it's been located. So if one of us was constantly checking up on the other, they would know, because they'd get 1000 alerts throughout the day saying "your phone was located on Android Device Manager" or something.
OP can you install something similar, see how much she uses it, and uninstall it if she's abusing it?

[OnionKnight]

I have find my friends installed as does my wife but I've never used it to track her, I've actually just checked and I disabled location sharing for it.

It'd be a huge red flag if my wife was more than suggestive that I install it.

I have noticed some posters ITT trying to insinuate that the OP has something to hide because he won't comply

[StephanieAteMyLunch]

Dh, myself and Ds1 who is 14 have it.

But I don't spend hours watching a map to see if they have moved around.

It is useful for Ds1 when he has been on a school trip so we can see when he is approaching school on the coach but again, unless I actually need to know where his phone is I don't look.

Dh went and bought my birthday present without me knowing when he did it, because again, I don't sit looking at the map having an aha moment.

[exLtEveDallas]

We have 'find my phone' turned on solely to find our phones if they are lost/stolen. Other than that, no I'd never use it. I quite like the idea of the 'lo jack' option for stolen cars - because it's only used if a car is actually stolen, not day to day.

[SnoutFish]

We have this. DH suggested I install it so I can see if he's still at work or if he's left so I can time the cooking! But it's useful, if i need to call him during the day, I can check if he's on his lunch break before calling.

When we first had it, he did once complain I was having coffee rather than doing entertaining things with the Dc (I'm a sahm) and I told him what I thought! I then started turning it off, so I think he got the message. He's never mentioned checking up on me since. He uses it to find where I am in traffic when we are coordinating picking him up in front of the traffic lights on the way home from an activity.

The Dc like it when DH is away as we can look on the map to see where he is.

[Proseccopanda]

We have it too. We all share the same Apple ID, so have the find my iPhone thingy. We use it for the DC, and it came in particularly handy when he lost his phone. As for DH and I, we don't use it in a 'checking up on' way, but like others, I'll see when he's on his way home, and the DC often like to know when Daddy will be home. DH also travels a lot for work and I like to see how he's doing on his journey and whether he's reached his destination safely (he does usually text to let me know, but sometimes it can be a while before he gets the chance).

[spankhurst]

I agree, OP. I would HATE it. You either trust or you don't. Why do people need to know exactly where you are all the time? Weird.

[BigSandyBalls2015]

Most of my teenage DDs friends have this so their parents can check where they are. Beyond weird IMO. These are 16/17 year olds!!

[Joysmum]

Me, dh and dd all have it. It's brilliant!

It started when I got a dangerous hobby, had a scare and then was worried nobody would find me if I got hurt.

It's been great as dh has long unpredictable hours and often can't just sneak out to text or call and doesn't have signal. I know if he was 70 miles away away an hor ago he won't be having dinner with us.

Knowing where dd is speaks for itself and is a condition of her having a smart phone. Plus she can see where we are too obviously.

We can all switch off sharing our location at any time if we need to. Having find friends has made life easier and stopped rensentment in my part as I lost vount of the number of meals I've made when he's not been home for them.

[PurpleDaisies]

Having find friends has made life easier and stopped rensentment in my part as I lost vount of the number of meals I've made when he's not been home for them.

Doesn't that just abdicate him of the responsibility to let you know if he won't be home for dinner?