Dh has died and the MN lifesavers are helping us to keep our heads above water

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread :). Thought I'd start this one like I ended the last one - Bertie crashed out after a busy day's mischief making.

Good morning

Thanks book he did ring and he will be looking into options on Monday and I've told him he's not to speak to DD about it until he's spoken to me.

Had a night full of dreams so up and tired. Going for a quiet day at a NT property, taking a picnic lunch and then a bit of cleaning as I didn't get round to any yesterday.

Selena you are sounding remarkably calm and goodness knows, spinning scares me so well done to you. Sounds like some good advice from echt on how to manage the paperwork.

Have a good day all! willow when are you back?

Morning all
Lovely sun here. Am due at the shop for 10, but am thinking I may go early ( its situated at my allotment site) and go and get some planting done at my plot first , and have a quick tidy around . Otherwise I will just fritter away time doing not very much .
DH has mentioned a little local auction to look around this afternoon , so need to get back and a quick lunch. I suspect there isn't much to appeal, but the joy of auctions is you never know :)
Then hopefully back to catch a bit of tennis.
Cake - take care - was it the stress of DD disturbing your sleep more than usual? Hope it calms down. Enjoy the NT trip
Hope everyone is okay, and will have a good a day as possible

Morning all

cake we leave here Monday pm and get home half one in the morning Tuesday! Not looking forward to it tbh. apparently they have rooms you can use once out your apartment so you can stay at hotel till departure bus comes but not sure how that would work if you are using pool and need to put stuff in cases. Will ask this morning. Didn't sleep much again restless kehd kicked in them people down below us thought it was a good idea to come back after 1am and clatter around them then sit on balcony playing music and chatting in loud voices for an hour was not happy😐

Think it's combination of heat and uncomfy bed and only one pillow cant wait for my own bed 😀

book I have 2 pictures of you in my head. One has one of those fab gardeners diaries full of notes on particular veg that are good croppers and planting plans, empty seed packets etc (I love stationary)
The other doesn't need one and has it all in her head as she breezes through the year planting and reaping all that lovely produce like a female Monty Don 😀

Wonder which one it is😉

Just checking in.
Feeling a bit lethargic today - had a shocking migraine last night which I could feel behind my eye all afternoon but was ignoring and then it just ramped up. Took some paracetamol and slept it off all evening on the sofa then went to bed, but it's wiped me out.

Had lunch with a couple of ladies from my WAY meet up yesterday, both similar ages to me although different circumstances (aren't we all). And plans to meet again.

Hello

Hope your shift at the shop went well book and that the auction was interesting. Have never been to one.

Willow rather you than me - you'll need a holiday to recover from your holiday. I also love my bed the best.

Squirrels I hope that you feel better soon. Thankfully never had a migraine. Glad you are building up your support network (even when I know you'd rather not be in this position).

I've had strange dreams all week so have no idea what's going on. We had a really good walk with barely any moaning from DS and he loved the new nature play area. Rewarded ourselves with ice cream.

Thinking of you all, especially selena

Somer I hope that you are feeling a bit better than last time you spoke here about yourself. That baby must be nearly cooked now?

xxx

Evening all
Willow - well , in truth a bit of both! But mostly Monty Don -ish . I do have a detailed plan of my allotment and a seed box where the packets of seed are arranged in sowing date order - but the rest is in my head . The weather is so variable from year to year, that I tend to sow/plant when it feels right, rather than what is on the packet :)
Every holiday I have ever been on , the last couple of days is always me hankering for home - your own bed is a sanctuary !
Chasing - horrid headaches - I am like Cake - never get them, but DH used to ( a lot of it stress related tbh) and the next day he was so wiped out - as you are . But you are truly amazing, giving new friendships a real go
Cake - we love auctions - became hooked on them when setting up home over 40 years ago with no money . Half my house was kitted out with auction buys - some I still have! Now its a hobby - little bits of interest etc. Today , we bought some great gardening stuff for next to nothing, so it was worth the trip :). The shop was very, very boring - so 2 hours of sitting crocheting basically - 2 customers in the first half an hour, then four right at the end as I was closing up (typical!)
Hope everyone has a nice Saturday evening - we are sat watching F1 qualifying , instead of the tennis

Ah, Found you all again.

I've got 8 weeks to go, cake. I'm actually in bed, with a rather painful pulled muscle right now, but in general I'm fine. Happy pills definitely helping which is good as only a very low dose that my doctor thought she might need to raise before they kicked in.

selena you're in my continued thoughts. Hope the paperwork mountain doesn't become overwhelming. If you've got people around you who you don't mind knowing your financials, then rope them into help whereever possible.

Hi All,

Yes, great advice re financial stuff, thank you all, and I've had 2 offers of help from people I trust which is good. Not looking at paper mountain this evening, that's going to be weekday evening tasks - if I feel like it. I put the car insurance into my name today and get DH's full no claims bonus, hurray.

Been a beautiful day, which helps me at least. I was thinking of you book as I tackled some heather which had overgrown and over into the lawn. After 5 mins I decided I would still be at it this time next year and one of my helpful neighbours came across and did it all in an hour. Bald lawn now, but how kind people are, even the car insurance bereavement unit. Restores your faith in humanity.

Somer all sounds very painful, but presumably means you are able to rest?

Willow home is really where the heart is? (plus I do like my own loo!!).

Evening all.

book I wish I was like you it's my idea of a lovely life but I know it's bloody hard work too. If I ever remember to buy a lottery ticket and win I will buy a nice house with huge garden and employ a gardener😀 I want fruit (ideally a fruit cage😀) and veg as well as flowers. I don't want much ha ha.

chasing have only had a few migraines in my life but they were hell hope you feel better soon.

somer hope you feel better soon too, take it easy.

selena glad you have good support around you it makes such a difference.

Having a Cuppa then you g to tackle the clean washing and pack up.stuff we dont need. Left kids at amusements after a couple of games of pool with them. Choc fountain again tonight 😀 makes up a bit for the rest of the crap food. I have not finished anything on the plate yet!

Think I will attack the wine left in fridge to see if it makes me sleep tonight😀

Then going to tackle ....

Somer - good to hear from you - not long to go now, hope the weather stays a bit more pleasant, but a pulled muscle sounds nasty , so take care .
Willow -it is a lovely life - I am much blessed with lovely family and friends . Growing things, making things, feeding people just makes it even more special for me. Though my only gardener is DH - and he answers back . It has been very tough at times in the past, so I think I appreciate it so much more, and realise how lucky I am. Wishing you luck on that packing
Selena - people are kind in these places - I remember when I was sorting out my DM's money/estate - the only time I truly broke down was when they were too kind . How big was that heather - an hour to cut back!!! The grass will regrow with a bit of light , damp and patience - along with a bit of grass seed to encourage the rest :)
wishing you all a good nights sleep
Thoughts and Prayers x

Ha ha book. The heather started as two small plants about 15 years ago and for some reason 'exploded' 2 years ago to be 10 feet across, ok as in soil behind low retaining wall, but 3 or 4 feet in depth, not ok as over the wall, well over the grass and very dense. Would have been better had they grown backwards not forwards, if you see what I mean, to fill the soil (kill the weeds) behind. But they didn't.

Yes, it's kindness that sets me off, at the moment realising how people are rearranging their lives to be at the funeral on Friday.

And just realising that this time next week it will be over. Not sure how to feel about that yet. So I'll plod on.

Time for bed, sleep well everyone.

Packing done as much as possible anyway.
Watching skyfall with ds2.

Will be glad to get home they had another stand off tonight. Its like 2 rutting stags locking horns 😤 they have been warned 😀

Morning all

Up too early again. I've cleaned the kitchen now it needs wrecking again as I make picnic for the day ahead. Off to the theme park again...why does he not tire of it???

Somer I'm sorry to hear you are in bed, but glad you're feeling better emotionally.

Selena good luck with it all, how did the meeting re the service go? Hope it's all falling into place.

willow that sounds stressful - I think we have this image in our head of quality family time, but really we're just not used to spending so much time in one place

Squirrel I hope you feel better today.

book I hope Wimbledon gets a look in around F1. I'm not a big tennis fan, but we watch a bit of it, but DH watches all the F1s.

Enjoy the sun whatever you're all up to.

Morning
absolutely lovely here - being Sunday thinking so much of Juan and hope she and her DD are coping,
Chasing - I do hope you are feeling better after that migraine , and today is better for you.
Cake - do you ever get enough sleep? Kitchen cleaning early morning! Hope the theme park isn't too crowded :) Luckily, tennis isn't played on Sundays ( well, not when the weather is good, and they are not behind on games) so no problem with the F! - mind you , we don't have Sky, so will have to wait to see it later on C4 which means not looking for the result!
Willow - homeward bound soon - how old are your two - is it all raging hormones? , or do they just need a bit of space - holidays do cage you up a bit, don't they .
Selena - ((hugs))
I have just a quick query - a sad one. A friend has just lost her DH to cancer last Tuesday - I have sent a card, but I would like to do something for her - would some soup/casserole be suitable - or do you have any other suggestions. She hasn't been able to eat much the last few weeks, so not sure if food is the right thing to do?

A bit of a slow start today - no family today, so off to the allotment soon, and a gardening/housework /faffing sort of day
Well, nothing getting done sat here
Hope everyone has a good day xx

book - so far as my very limited experience (one week today ) goes, just let her know you're there for her. Eating enough is never a problem for me (!), but I'm going out for coffee with friends, and one of them had a large ice cream sundae to make me share a bit.

DH was big F1 fan too, so might put it on.

I'm off soon for my regular Sunday prom and coffee, maybe sausage barm today, therapy. Hugs Juan and everyone, hope you all have a good, stress-free day.

book, again limited experience (thankfully it's not something I've ever been through before) but in the last few months of John's life I was just totally immersed in his illness and had no time or energy to spare for myself or friendships. In the days afterwards I needed people, even if just for short periods - I don't know your relationship with your friend, but gently reminding her you are there if she needs you but in a non-demanding way.
Maybe regular texts saying you are thinking of her, asking her if she'd like to join you at home for lunch or dinner, or a coffee but telling her no pressure if she's not up to it.
Maybe just drop round something she can easily reheat, I found this helpful as it required no thought from me - I didn't have the headspace to think about how people could help (when they asked me) but when they did just help that was fantastic.
And continue to be there, as I'm sure you already know grief isn't just a few days or weeks. After the funeral everyone goes on with their lives, somewhat saddened by the loss of their friend but secure in the framework of their own life. To those closest to the deceased the framework of their life has disappeared.

Afternoon ladies.

Having a quiet day
Kids don't even want to go to pool! Enjoying the cool of apartment watching tv and on devices! I have been sunbathing on balcony but too hot when breeze dies down and loungers are plastic with slats so very uncomfy😐 only ventured out for food.

Going to be a long day tomorrow out of appt at 12 and bus not here till 5. There is a room to put cases in but don't know what we will do for 5 hours. I really must plan better next time. (Next time we could be back to a caravan in UK much less hassle😀😀)

book they are 15 and 12. Ds1 is bigger and pulling the whole "what you gonna do about it" crap and ds2 trying to exert his wants too and doesn't know when to stop pushing buttons. Both are very emotional and usually ends in tears all round. The joys of parenting🙄 Definatelty time to go home.

Hugs to selena & juan

Evening all
Thank you for the advice Chasing and Selena - I will try to do what I can.
I am just having a break from the crotchet.
I do seem to have ended up having had a busy day in the end, not quite sure how that happened !
Willow - a change of clothes in the hand luggage - let them swim, change early-ish so swim clothes will dry , stuff in a plastic bag back in hand luggage , then maybe something to eat, very slowly....
Hope everyone has a good night, and sleeps well
Thoughts and Prayers x

Evening all, sorry I've been missing for a few days.

Sending love to all, especially Selena and Chasing and of course to Juan.

Morning all.

5AM start to set the tone for the week. normal week for DS but track events for DD today and year assembly tomorrow. DH at home for a week now so that's the end of my normal routine until September!

Nice to see you drama

I'm sure any help and support you offer your friend would be great book but I guess just being there will ease the burden. I like the idea of some easy meals or some of your lovely fresh fruit.

Morning all
gah Cake - thats barely sun up ...
Just had a shower, and gearing up to go to the doctors ( just a smear test, but I really don't like them , but thats life ) . I like it done first thing so I don't spend all day focussing on going.
I was going to put a load of washing in, but its started to rain - not on the forecast , so will forget about that, and the blackcurrant picking too - it needs to be nice and dry for best there.
So, need to decide what to do - the kitchen needs a thorough clean, so may get the steam mop out, and also clean out the fridge too.
Other than that , hoping to see some tennis, go and pick some veg and I have a committee meeting tonight .
Willow - hope you have a quiet, easy day , and a good trip home
Have a good day all

Morning all.
All set for the check out. There is a safe in the wardrwardrobe and door doesn't stay shut unless wedged with something. Emptied everything out and double checked to find something on floor and when I stood up smacked my temple onto the bloody metal door edge. Was damm sore was sniveling like a baby! Think I am just tired and hot and want this day to be done.

Had ridiculously decadent breakfast of waffles and what seemed to be 2 kinds of Angel delight and lovely redcurrents😀😀 well it's last day after all😉 thought of Book when eating the redcurrants😀

Hope you all have good days.

Willow hope you have a safe journey home.

Hi Drama missed you on the tennis thread. Hope all is well.

Good luck with the doctors book. These horrible things have to be done!

Hope everyone else is ok.

And Willow hope your head is ok, ouch!