Dh has died and the MN lifesavers are helping us to keep our heads above water

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread :). Thought I'd start this one like I ended the last one - Bertie crashed out after a busy day's mischief making.

squirrels sending hugs from me too.
cake what have they done now? It's not on surely they should be on the ball by now?

After tea came out restaurant and they had a table with fruit marshmallow and profiteroles and a choc fountain!! I wouldn't have had that mini pastry if I had known but I did try a prof or 2 just to be polite and refrained from just sticking my face into the fountain 😀😀

Despite gallons of suncream and aftersun kids shoulders pink and peeling and I finally have some colour! Ds2 brown as a berry as usual it's not fair. My legs are still peely wally😐
Went with ds2 to amusements and played pool (it's donkeys years since I played and it showed) and shot a load of dinosaurs😀 ds2 ended up playing pool with another kid which was good. His first time playing it and he loved it.
Cool evening with some breeze which was lovely until you shut the door and go to bed then got again.

Sleep tight all.

Then Hot again!!!

They were meant to mix them all up according to houses for next year (which would get her away from the bully, but leave her with a good friend in her class)

They informed her yesterday that they are keeping the classes as are but she'll be moved out of the class to avoid the bully, but couldn't/wouldn't tell her which class

Fuming! Will go find out who the head of year is and go from there. Just sick of everything being a fight...

Glad you're having a good-ish time, I'd love a chocolate fountain!

Up at 5:01 but giving DS his dues, he ran straight for the loo, so needed it.

Hope you all have a good day. Meant to be another hot one.

Sounds like you are having a lovely time Willow.

[I REALLY need to sort a holiday - ds2 asked last night if I'd booked something. I'm not sure I can, he said "that's okay mum".]

Hope transition day goes okay cake and the classes aren't as big an issue as you're fearing x
Ours have the first transition day in their primary class then the parents get the form list at the info evening that day and the second transition day is spent in their forms.

Sized ds2 for all his uniform and just need to order online now. I could have brought most of it there but there was a massive queue and as the trousers have to be ordered online anyway I thought I might as well do it all together.

I've been reflecting quite a lot recently on my thoughts and feelings and where I am with my life.
I've been sharing my grief with a fellow WAY member via IM, and also positing a bit on the WAY forums.
I'm trying to do more social things - I don't always want to be, but I am.
I sat at the Way-Up lunch I went to last week thinking "what am I doing here having lunch with this group of people I've never met, I'd rather not be here". But I didn't think that throughout it, and I had a nice lunch rather than sitting moping at home, and if you don't try it you don't know.
Someone said something that really resonated with me "I'm just trying to find something that takes the pain away for a bit" and I realised that's exactly what I'm doing.
The pain and the grief and the loss is underlying, and only time is going to begin to heal it.
But meanwhile I can occupy my time, and mostly when I'm doing so I can be in the moment and not in the pain.
I can't fill ALL my time and avoid the pain completely, and I wouldn't want to - John had become integral to my life and I don't want to just switch that off.
But I'm carrying on, without John, and I don't want to live the rest of my life in a pit of pain and grief, so I'm trying to find things to take the pain away for a while.

And I'm okay this week

Selena I'm thinking of you 🌷🌷.
I'm sure you've got plenty of people around you at the moment, and lots of things that might need sorting. But if you ever want someone to share with please feel free to IM me and we can get in touch, however don't feel any pressure to do so.

Morning all
Willow sounds like you are really enjoying yourselves - I do like a profiterole myself :)
Cake - that sounds like a total cop out, and I hope you can sort things out. It's so tiring having to fight everything. Poor DS1 and you, 5 o clock!
Chasing - you are starting to sound strong - yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel. But why wouldn't you miss John - he was a part of you .But I think you are amazing facing up to things, and managing so well. Can you think through what is holding you back from booking a holiday ?
Selena - hope you are coping - sending strength for the hard days ahead ((hugs))
Right - better get on - decided to go and pick those redcurrants this morning - there is a possibility of rain, and hopefully I can spend a bit of time picking the best strands and pop them in the fridge for tomorrow.
Have a good day all

Willow, sounds wonderful!
Squirrels, thank you
Cake, grrrr
book, send me over some of your energy, now please!

I'm meeting a friend this just-turned-sunny morning then DS and I are meeting the person taking the service next Friday. Hope he can find some ways of filling it because my brain's turning to cotton wool (not much difference there then, I hear a voice from above) after selecting the music. Then off to see my brother who's just back from holiday.

I've been reading the Probate and Inheritance Tax forms online - clear table in my favourite coffee shop for a few days of financial work I think!

Hi all
Squirrels you sound like you are getting stronger and have a good plan. Of course the pain won't go away quickly but all things considered you are doing so well I don't know how I would cope with something so huge.

Cake get them sorted out why is everything such a fight with schools?

Selena my brain is permanent mush so can't help you there😀 thinking of you having to deal with all the never ending paperwork and organising

Book busy as ever your allotment sounds packed with lovely fruit and veg am so jealous.

Ds2 dragging me off to play pool again!

She's a sociable girl and would cope in any class but it all smacks of punishing the victim and a big lack of communication - why weren't we told 1st!

I've been for a 5K walk with a hot chocolate and brownie pit stop in the middle. It was lovely and quiet(ish) and lots of flowers, butterflies etc.

Now need to clean before collecting DS, then entertain him in the park for an hour before DD finishes.

Squirrel you are sounding stronger which is good, but I'm guessing John is never far from your thoughts.

Selena good luck for wading through all the stuff that needs doing at a time when you've got the least energy/mental capacity for it.

waves to all the rest, must get on!

Evening all
Ended up with quite a lazy day. I picked redcurrants for an hour, and came home for a shower and a cup of tea, and to hang washing out. DH decided today was a good day to go to the showroom to look at fencing [hmmm] But we had a nice trip out , and lunch. Then had to get back to buy some bits for tomorrow 's lunch - Dear sis in law and her DH is having a visit before she sets off home. Took a little time browsing the cheese counter at our local deli - a favourite pastime tbh :) Bought some lovely cheese, oatcakes and something we have not tried before - 12 hour roasted figs, wrapped in leaves. It seems they are a good accompaniment for cheese. I wasn't arguing - I adore figs.

Did a bit of watering, gardening , tidying, bringing in and folding washing. Picked a big bowl of raspberries. Then sat down to eat and we have had an almighty thunderstorm and rain , just blowing over now. Better watering than any job I could do.
Going to watch some tennis now, and browse crotchet blankets, ready to settle down .
Hope you all have a nice evening

Phew it was hot! just a lovely breeze now...but the car said 32 earlier

Two very tired children and mixed results from transition day.

Tomorrow I'm having coffee with a friend, trying again to book DD's ear piercing and having my phone handy - waiting for next year's year 6 head to ring me.

Have a nice evening book et al

Popping by - what with tennis & training for walking in the Alps I don't know where the days are going.

Will be with Ds & co in about 10 days time & am determined to walk up a mountain so am out every morning doing 4/5 miles up & down round Beachy Head. My legs ache!

Squirrels - just such respect to you for where you are & how you are coping. You are doing great.

Hi all

book your idea of a lazy day makes me smile

I got some cleaning done today as the place was starting to look neglected due to Wimbledon but still sneaked (snook?) in a bit of tennis. Did the big shop and just sitting down now to catch up on the scores.

Snuck not snook I had to google it and it seems I was right to use sneaked!

magi that sounds exhausting. You will be fit as a fiddle by the time you come down from the mountain

Haha Jane - I barely got going , an amble through the day, and then DH made tea as I wanted to watch the tennis
magi - you are going to have calves of steel :)
Cake - I hope you get that call, and it sorts things out.
I am not really looking forward to going to bed - it's so warm. I have all the bedroom windows wide open in the hopes of a bit of cool. It has just been too hot for Yorkshire !
Night all , sleep tight xx

Morning

Hope you all got some sleep! Bit cooler today. Our night was restless but we got up at 6.

magi hat off to you. My legs also sore as I've tried to do a lot of walking this week.

jane I say snuck

Sorting uniform is such a pain Squirrel They want you to order things now but children grow! Luckily DS's school sells jumpers etc at their reception and DD shouldn't outgrow the overly big PE kit we ended up buying last year due to the stupidly vague measuring guide.

Thinking of you today Selena

Morning all
Lovely today, just a tweak fresher.
Just ran around to tidy , off to the allotment now .
Must be back not too late so I can sort everything before visitors/lunch
Selena - thinking of you this hard day ((hugs))
Hope everyone else is okay

Selena thinking of you today. ((Hugs))

Off to beach. Am swithering about going in sea as to being able to change under a towel these days😀😀 ds1 full of moans but he was the one moaning he hadn't brought swim stuff last time!! Bloody teens 😤

Evening
well, dear sis in law and DH didn't leave until gone 3 , so a lot of day gone . Did mange a good workout at the allotment first though , so don't feel too lazy :)
Just been watching nailbiting tennis....and now sat with crotchet now , and rather warm ......
Have a good evening all x

My goodness that was a scrappy match wasn't it? I sure picked the wrong week to go on holiday 😀 can't sit and veg watvhing tennis out here.
Spent time at the beach had lunch and walk around them back kids went to pool and for me to flake out😀 didn't get to sleep till about 3.30 this am and we were up early.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

Thinking of you and yours selena .

Well, I've survived the Registrar, had all the right paperwork. Then went to one of his banks (sounds good!!) and have to go back next week, although she took details. Then went to the other bank and so lucky that the right person had a surprise free slot and everything got done.

Now started a bit of his paper mountain, one of several ranges - did he throw ANYTHING out? No, is the simple answer. I'll be clearing till this time next year. Would sooner be alongside you on a real mountain, magi.

Very envious of those with hot weather, been grey and coolish most of day here.

I've got 35 In Sympathy cards, they're all lovely with non-soppy messages - and not one the same. How amazing is that?

Sleep well everyone. I'm spinning tomorrow morning, if I manage to get up and summon any energy - just chuck some up to the North West, please, book?

Selena - sounds like it all went well though, all in all. Paperwork mountains - hate them , and the decisions on what needs to be kept, what you can shred. I don't envy you .
I am sending energy vibes your way across the Pennines - tomorrow morning I am stuck in our little horticultural shop, and there is rarely a queue ! Spinning? is that some sort of exercise thing?

Well done with the first, necessary steps, Selena.

I prepared probate in Au and the UK when my DH died suddenly, so know about the paper mountain.
One thing I found, and still find useful is an A4 ring binder, with A-Z dividers. I headed ordinary lined A4 paper with the name of each of the institutions I had to deal with and filed them in the folder. Every time I made a call, I noted the date, time, who I spoke to and action needed by me or promised by them. It's proved immensely useful as, a year later, some stuff still turns up.

I found UK institutions much easier to deal with because they most of them have bereavement sections, and also because I could deal with them in my Aussie evening. The reverse was characteristic of many Au institutions, who appeared to have no systems for dealing with death, and I had to fit all my enquiries with them around my full-time job.
Good luck with it all.

Well done, Selena.

You can come up a mountain (real) with me whenever you want. But as I don't think that'll happen, we'll all be here to help you climb those other mountains.

We won't go away, sweetie.

Thank you for the tips and good wishes!

Spinning is exercise bikes to (loud) music. Can either work very hard or just let your legs go round and pretend, which is why I like it. With a good instructor, good music I find I'm working much harder than I intended. Two of us, probably the oldest in the class by about 20 years, meet for coffee beforehand every week and debate whether we should bother. Then we meet for coffee afterwards and congratulate each other about how we can keep up with the young(er) ones!!! Bit of cod-ology works wonders.

gosh, that sounds tiring .... but good fun :) good luck with it tomorrow - I shall be sat waiting for sales of slug pellets and compost ...
Cake - hope that teacher rang, and you got some satisfaction
Willow - hope you manage some sleep tonight!
I am heading for my bed.
Thinking of Juan and Chasing tonight - and of course everyone else
Sleep well all
Thoughts and Prayers x