Dh has died and the MN lifesavers are helping us to keep our heads above water

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread :). Thought I'd start this one like I ended the last one - Bertie crashed out after a busy day's mischief making.

Still hot here, but there's a lovely breeze which is very welcome.

Willow you are a brave woman. I think I'd need some sort of protective hazard gear to go into my boys' rooms, especially DS1's. I just shut the doors and leave them to it these days.

Drama I couldnt stand it any longer! It was that bad, just really untidy. I wouldnt mind but they have plenty of storage for toys etc it just all gets dumped, dvds left lying around etc, drives me batty. Mind you upstairs looks like a bomb of books, comics and clothes went off, its all the way through the landing! Ds1 is gonna love me...got a pile of sweatshirts for him to try on as am sure they dont fit anymore. I will help to tidy it up if they just dont moan like they were being sold into slavery! Might try the 'penny' per item trick Upside is I found a pair of MY joggers in ds1's wardribe. I KNEW I had bought a pair sometime, I must have put them on his pile at some point, chaos rules in this house

Going to donate a pile of books (if they let me, we are kinda precious about books in this house) to school bring and buy tomorrow, and a pile of other stuff. Just to get it out the way.

Well just been interupted by washing machine guy phoning to say he was on his way!!!! He was supposed to call yesterday to let me know when he was coming! Mad panic to tidy up the kitchen before he gets here ensued Am itching to get back up stairs but have to wait for him.

Willow your last post made me laugh, especially the bit about finding a pair of your joggers in DS1's wardrobe. It sounds just like my house

Oh my goodness I am knackered!

But except for a couple of finishing touches it is DONE .

Have bags of stuff for school bring and buy tomorrow!

I can see the floor!!! (ok its filthy but I can see it )
The bookshelves are tidy, the storage is where it should be, the wardrobes are tidy! Its a bloody miracle. (Of course I will be crying by the weekend when I see the state of it)

Wasnt too hellish getting kids to help. Had a laugh over which of the million dvds to keep (most of them ) and get rid of.

Now I just got to do my room - found more stuff to pack, there is a pile of clothes that are too small for ds1 but too big for ds2 to root through on my bed. And a pile of stuffed toys that I just know will all go back into their room, oh well cant win them all.

Washing machine guy says there isnt anything he can do as the unit is sealed and they cant take them apart these days to clean them out (couldnt he just have said that over the phone and saved me £40?) He checked what he could but thats that. To try bleach another couple of times and if that doesnt work to get a new one! Put bleach in and the damm thing was leaking bubbles all over the floor! Hoping it was just the door not shut properly.

Hope you are all having a lovely day ladies, I hear its to get nasty tomorrow.

Well done Willow you deserve a medal! That's what gets me down about being a grown up. Feel like I have never got anything to show for the day... today all I can really say I did was kept everyone alive, watched sports day and cleaned the microwave and did the normal washing/dishwasher.

Tomorrow's plan is soft play and air conditioning and a trip to Mothercare. Seeing as soft play is in the garden centre, I will be getting bark chips, soil and some plants to put in pots where things have finished flowering died because I'm so shit at looking after the garden

Hope you're OK Juan, Squirrel and Selena and that the pregnant ladies are also not suffering too badly in this heat!

Any baby news book?

Evening!
had everyone for tea, then a rush to get out for a rather full on committee meeting. Lovely cool walk back .
Willow - I am in awe - my DD2 was the absolute worst for a humungously bad bedroom. I ended up just shutting the door and leaving it - much the same as Drama , but oh it took some doing....
Still no news on baby, apart from inducing hasn't worked, and may be heading for C- section. ( Baby not officially due until 7th July, but a really big baby it seems cue induction)
Heat and food is tricky here - DH would have meat and two veg every night of the week if he could. I made paella tonight, which is a favourite . Don't make it often now as DD2's partner doesn't do rice ...(.but he wasn't coming , so I could) . Very often do pasta with home made tomato and veg sauce ( I make gallons of the stuff and freeze it. ) I usually then just wilt some baby spinach in it for a bit of fresh veg.
I have a couple of good vegetable cake recipes - but here is the favourite
Chocolate Courgette Cake
120 gm softened butter
125 ml sunflower oil
100 gm caster sugar
200 gm soft brown sugar
3 large eggs, beaten
130 ml milk
350 gm plain flour
2 tsps baking powder
4 tbsps cocoa
450 gm courgettes, peeled and grated finely
1 tsp vanilla essence
Line a 20 x 35 cm baking tray. Heat oven to 190/ fan 170
Mix the butter, oil and both sugars together until light and fluffy. Gradually add the eggs, one at a time and then the milk until mixed thoroughly.
Sift the dry ingredients together and fold into the mixture. Stir in the grated courgettes and vanilla essence.
Spoon into tin. bake for 35-45 minutes
Cut into squares while still warm .
DGS adores it , and its very nice with some fresh raspberries and cream :)
Hope everyone is okay - and the coolness helps sleep and comfort
Thoughts and Prayers x

Cake - brain fade - well done to DD for coming second!

Thanks! She was nervous she'd make a fool of herself, bless her.

Will give that a go once I've done the 28 cupcakes for school!

Much cooler and don't want to jinx it but he's been asleep for 3hrs without so much as a murmur or sneeze!

Sleep well x

Cake well done your DD Good luck with the cupcakes.

book that recipe sounds absolutely lush.

Someone stop me ... have sorted through all the hand me downs too and got another bag for the rag bag at school. Was ruthless as they are mounting up! I will be aching all over tomorrow crawling around on the floor, poking under units and beds

Packed up the other new t shirts I had in the drawer in my bed (I forgot I had them for ds1!) snorkles, water guns etc. I can almost see my bedroom floor now! Got a pile of ironing staring at me but it can go to yon place tonight. Am veging out.

Fingers crossed for baby news soon.

28 cupcakes! Thank goodness those days are over for me. Usually bake for the school but didnt get much warning this time and its my last. Will show face and buy something though.

Poor DS2 is choked with snuffles and sneezes this pm, fizzing painful nose/eyes. Had Antihistamine but not doing anything so far. Dont know if its ye old hayfever or the dust in the room from all my tidying and dusting everything in sight! Poor thing is in a right state. Calpol, vicks to hopefully help clear his tubes and off to my bed. I might be joining you in the sleepless nights tonight Cake

Someone stop me OK Willow stop it! Just sit down and relax with a nice brew. You've earned it and you are making me feel very lazy

Slightly cooler here tonight, so hopefully will sleep better.

Love to all, especially Juan - if you see this I'm sending you a hug.

cake I think keeping everyone alive is an achievement!! Well done dd and hope the cupcake making went well.

Ds1 made flapjacks this evening, I don't know what he has changed but the last couple of times they've just not been as yum. He's making iced fingers at school tomorrow - hopefully, as I've been asking him the the ingredients list since the weekend but it's not appeared so he'll just have to hope we've got what he needs.

Willow you have been busy!!
I've got so much stuff of John's I need to clear, but can't bring myself to do so. I out all his shoes in the cupboard into a plastic crate yesterday, but then just put the crate in the cupboard.

Hey all

I'm not baking till tomorrow as we're taking them into school on Friday. Gives me time to bake and decorate. I don't mind doing cupcakes, but I find big cakes stress me out.

We slept!!!! Hayfever quite bad already this morning, but will dose all of us up in a moment.

Squirrel that must be hard, but I'm guessing there's no rush to get rid of stuff or make any decisions now. It's only been such a short time. Be kind to yourself.

Willow you are putting me to shame. Today is going to involve some basic cleaning and a bit of gardening and just surviving another hot day with 3 under 5!

Drama possible seeing Juan tomorrow if she feels up to it - if I do, I will give her some hugs in person from all the Aunties.

Cake I think you have plenty to do with the tinies, just running after them will be tiring enough.

Squirrels
Dont push yourself to get rid of stuff. I still have some of my mum's stuff and my dad's wallet in a drawer. I had other stuff but it took years to get rid. You will know when you are ready, when that is doesn't matter.

Took 9 carrier bags up to school this morning with ds2. And 2 bags for the rag box. Feel strangely liberated 😀😀
Now just got to face the pile of washing and hope the bleach has done the trick.
Overcast here today and a bit of a breeze but not cold. Hopefully will clear up for my washing 😀

Well that all went Pete Tong very quickly 😀 having a cracking thunder and lightning storm and its bucketing down😞

Agree on just keeping going with all the smalls cake.

I don't want to get rid of stuff particularly, but the house is like he's just gone away - shoes in the understairs cupboard (although now in a plastic crate rather than lined up), phone and ipad on his bedside table, clothes in his drawers and wardrobe (although I did make an attempt at sorting these early on and have piles in the spare room as well). Then the dining room has stacks of old paperwork which I've had to sort through and can't really do anything with until it's all sorted.
And he hasn't just gone away for a while, he's never coming back and now I've made myself cry.

I've lived here for 16 years, first with exH, then on my own with the boys, then with John.
When I was on my own I had a small extension done and got new sofas and painted and got new flooring downstairs, but since John moved in we hadn't changed anything, I just repainted a couple of rooms on the same colours to freshen them up.
So nothing of the house is 'John' if that's make sense? It's like he moved into my life and just integrated but now he's just gone and it's just my life again. And when I take his things away that really is just my life.
I don't think I'm making any sense.

We'd talked about buying somewhere together but didn't really see the point in moving just for the sake of it, we'd both keep an eye on Rightmove and in the early days we viewed a handful of houses, but nothing that really grabbed us both.

Squirrels
It makes perfect sense. When he moved in you didnt need to change stuff just for the sake of it, he just fitted in perfectly without fanfare. Its a horrible thing to have to throw things out that have such meaning, and its sad to see them around the house. Its Hobsons Choice. Just take your time, a bit at a time if that helps, only you know whats right for you. (((Hugs)))

I see what you mean, squirrels, and it made me think of a thread elsewhere on MN about shifting-old-dead-spouse-stuff-out-so-as-not-to -piss-off-the-new-squeeze. I read it and thought: where is my DH not, where am I not in our lovely house?

In the nicest way, your current situation shows how a new relationship blends in with the old ones in the best way and is a testimony to how splendid you and John were together , but I see what you mean about where are the John era markers.

I've been putting out the last (I think) of my DH's old clothes, to go with others to a Sunday Market. DD and her boyfriend picked over the once-tragic now cool Levi jackets. :o I'm retrieving what's left of his lovely shirts (most given already given to friends) to turn into DadShirt bunting. Not because I give a toss about bunting, but because it will always be there.

Morning all
Willow - you really need a medal for getting through all that lot! And finding t shirts is always a plus ( am I the only one to pop things away for Christmas , and then find them the following Christmas, when once again I am putting things away. ... for Christmas)
Cake - just getting through the day with all those little ones is an achievement in itself . And congrats on the sleep!!
Chasing - I think the only thing you can do is what feels right for you I suspect it feels as if you are clearing him away, which is the last thing you want - to hang on to the precious memories of him being there with you.
I was up very early this morning, so went and watered and picked pounds of strawberries. Not quite sure what else is on today apart from the pile of ironing that didn't get done on Monday. Have a glut of cucumbers, so going to make some cucumber and mint soup .
I forgot to say - yesterday was lovely at the gardens with DGS and we saw a lovely family of ducklings with Mum - 12 of them! I tried to get them all in one picture, but they were all over the place, but thought you may like to see them -

Book thats so sweet, the lillies are gorgeous too. Sounds like a lovely place to go, wish we had similar here.
Yes I do that too, put things away 'safely' only to forget about them and find them when looking for something else! Or buy more of the something, like sweets for the guisers at halloween, because I think I havent got enough and find a whole bagful in the wardrobe

Ironing done (another miracle) got to hang up the washing indoors now, so cant do much today damm weather!

Lovely picture book

Surviving so far...

Echt that sounds like a good idea. i've seen similar ideas with T-shirts and shirts being turned into pillows or quilts etc.

(((hug))) Squirrel

Ducklings are just so cute.

I think it's the feeling of clearing him away, yes. And you are completely right - I obviously don't want to.

Just had a couple of hours attacking the hedge along the side of the house and pressure washing the path/patio there.
It's now in full sun, so to hot to carry on.
Patio carries on round the back of the house so lots more to do.
I was doing it this time last year to get the back garden sorted for our wedding garden party on 3rd July. It's been pretty much abandoned since then.

Hugs Squirrel of course you don't want to clear him away.

It was is so hot!

Juan isn't doing great so we are rescheduling, but I have passed on love from us all.

I feel completely beat so going to have a shower and slob. Tomorrow is a new day with thunderstorms forecast!

Cake send love &hugs to Juan from me too. Sorry to hear she isn't so great this week.

It's really hot now very muggy. Maybe another storm on the way?

Am slobbing too had ds2 at Tkd and for some choc in the way home, diet starts tomorrow😀