Dh has died and the MN lifesavers are helping us to keep our heads above water

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread :). Thought I'd start this one like I ended the last one - Bertie crashed out after a busy day's mischief making.

Thank you Aunties. Having virtual shoulders to cry on is so helpful. Squirrels I haven't yet got to the stage of missing sex (sorry if this is tmi for people) - but I'm sure it will come and then god knows how to manage that. But I miss being touched and held with real love all the time.

Cake you sound like you're having such a time of it at the minute, I'm sorry so much stress is being heaped on you and I hope you get through tomorrow ok. I can't do next week but perhaps week after?

One of the pics I found earlier was of Mark at a New Years Eve dinner so I sent that to the couple who's house it was at, and they've been sending me lovely messages and saying what a man he was and what good times we had :(

Hold onto that Juan - those were good times. They haven't gone- , they are still part of you. Be sad, but be glad also you have had them xx

Cross posted magi. You can't really properly love Pot if you want Andy to win - therefore I'm staking my claim! He's all mine :)

Very true book, many happy memories to cherish.

I may even get the chance to watch the tennis tomorrow. I don't know Pot very well, and not a fan of Murray, so I can watch with no stress! - what time is it on?

I'll be joining magi behind the sofa for the tennis tomorrow because I don't know who I want to win

Chasing & Juan sorry you are both feeling so sad. I'm here for a handhold whenever needed.

Cake hope it goes as well as it can tomorrow.

Evening Drama.

It's the second match on (forget which court though) and play starts at 10. Given first match is a women's singles one I'd say Pot would be on round about 11.30/12.30? No hiding behind sofa for me, I'm very firmly on one side! He'll most likely lose though I know.

Strong thoughts for tomorrow and f-wit ex cake.

With John having been ill for some time before he died it had been a while, even before he died. I miss almost everything about him and our relationship, it wouldn't be true to say I miss sex the most, but I do miss it.

Can't join in on the tennis talk ☺.

Still awake! I'm fine...really. Haven't seen MIL since Christmas and she's coming to babysit so really can't moan!

Ok, text me what day week after works best, my calendar clear I think.

Hope you all get sleep. Will come and update once it's all over x

darn it - am out tomorrow , not back until about 1.30/2.00 . Hopefully still on by the time I get back
Right - bed for me
Cake - hope tomorrow goes as well as possible. Will be thinking of you
Have a good nights sleep all
Thoughts and Prayers xx

I've not got to sleep yet. I stayed up too late, came to bed at 2am and have just finished my book, crying though most of it - it was probably the wrong book to read at this point in my life, but also the right one. I've just put it down and dawn is starting to break and birds are singing.
I miss John so much, so very much.

This was my husband, my lover, my everything.

Oh Squirrels. You sound in so much pain. I'm so sorry.
Don't have any more to offer than that, as I've been feeling much the same myself lately. And then guilty for not being able to concentrate on counting my many blessings instead. It's just so hard sometimes, isn't it?

I'm most of the way to pulling an all-nighter, too. Hope you're asleep by now.

Hello squirrels, I'm so sad for your loss, I really am. Those are such beautiful photos of your beloved John. He looked so so happy there, and that was because of you. That can be some comfort, you made his life complete, but it doesn't take away your pain nor his loss, I know.

It's that the person is utterly irreplaceable, I used to say to myself that I could walk the earth for a million years searching for my late DH and I could never find him ever, but having known him and been married to him I didn't need to search because he is always there in my heart for my remaining years.

I made the mistake of reading Tuesdays with Morrie when I was on bereavement leave which was a bad move, but it was a beautiful and inspiring book!

Hope you are OK somerville, looks like there a few of us on the early shift! Hope you manage to rest. I expect your baby must be due soon?

Hi juan so sorry to read all your updates re going to your fave garden centre and getting upset Places, even mundane ones can be painful reminders of times you've spent together and I find it conflicting that it's nice on the one hand going anywhere where we had been together, but part of me never wants to go where I am reminded that he isn't around anymore. Weird isn't it.

I'm so glad you are enjoying the tennis, the delights of del Potro. I saw a photo of him yesterday next to Murray and he towers over Him, I didn't realise how tall he is!!

Not due until September unfortunately, daisy, which feels forever away at the moment. Between hay fever and hormones I'm a snivelling wreck at the moment.

Morning all
oh, so many not sleeping last night - you poor things - nights seem so incredibly long.
Chasing - he has such a kind face , smiling out of those photos .
Somer - hormones and heat on top of everything else really doesn't seem fair somehow .
Take care and take it easy on yourselves today, rest up .
I am out to the big market today - the Italian bread stall makes the most amazing things, and I need to top up. And I must remember to get the material I forgot earlier in the week....
Cake - sending some virtual support
Hopefully back in time to see some tennis
have as good a Saturday as you can all
Thoughts and Prayers x

Hey bookbook snap. Just heading off to the farmers market in my village. They do delicious boules, baguettes and fruit tarts filled with confectioners cream, glazed strawberries and peach slices. Don't forget your material! What's it for?

Take it easy somer maybe an afternoon siesta, eh. Go continental. I wish we had siesta time in UK I always feel like a nap around 3pm when I'm in a meeting haha

I hate to be so indelicate magi but I heard ElPot has a groin strain so I hope he gives it a good stretch before the match! I'll leave you and juan to scrap over who's going to give him some prematch assistance, or maybe one side each. on that note I'd better make myself scarce.

Happy Saturday all.

Hi all, secret agent cake taking a quick break from cleaning. The staff at the bank were fab and as I'd got there 15 early, they processed my side of things, so that upon his arrival he just had to sign in 2 places and show his passport. It was over and done. No apology or remorse - not sure why I keep hoping he will be decent and worst of all, he'd brought his wife and baby into town too so saw them and had to make small talk ffs!

Off to a children's party with DS who has been up since 4:30 today just for a laugh!

Thinking of all the usual suspects and Somer...pregnancy is tough and you must be thinking back if when you went through that with DH1 etc bitter sweet xxxx

Afternoon.
Hope everyone is having a good afternoon. Just finished watching the match .Juan and magi - sorry for you!
Cake - glad to hear it went relatively well.
daisy - material is to sort out a dress that DD bought - its lovely, for work, but too short really. It has a simple design blue on white cotton, so I have been and got material in a plain blue to add about 4-5" around the bottom as a contrast. Bought my ciabatta, olive bread and various other stuff, I also went to the French patisserie stall and bought a tarte Citron for after my tea ( only small one !) I was exceedingly tempted with the fruit tarts , but I adore lemon desserts .
Had a really good day tbh - we have a lovely cheese shop too, so filled up on lots there, and then went into a newly opened clothes shop and saw loads of my type of clothes. I went a bit beserk - a (very) early birthday present from DH . I did put most of it back .
Off to potter and plant out some bits I bought at the plant stall.
Enjoy the rest of the day everyone

Hi all a pleasant afternoon here warm and sunny.

Bookbook i take my hat off to you altering your DDs dress and I bet it will look lovely. I do loads of crafts but anything to do with dressmaking Im utterky useless. I remember my first foray I sat with a friend sewing a skirt for a lovely piece of cheescloth fabric I got in the local Aladdin's Cave shop. OMG when I tried it on one side was several inches shorter than the other. I gave up and went back to soft furnishings and x stitch. Mayve I need evening classes!

Secret agent cake, so brave well done dignity intact I'll put up some virtual bunting for you to say "onwards and upwards"

Hope all is OK today with everyone - I didnt see the tennis (Im a weirdo without a TV:-D) but do I take it that hushed tones are needed. Xx

Lovely sunny day here & it's my birthday

On a bit of a whim I popped into a piercing studio this afternoon and got a rook piercing in my left ear. I've been thinking about getting it done for a while & finally decided to just go for it. Most disappointingly the boys & DH didn't turn a hair when I showed them.

We are going out to dinner tonight, which will be nice. Going to try out a new place which has opened recently.

I watched the Murray/Del Potro match. First two sets were really good, but the DelP injury proved too much. Much as I love DelP I found I was glad to see Murray win.

Hope everyone has a good evening, and I wish all you night owls from last night better sleep tonight.

I bit the bullet today and started the anti-depressants that I was prescribed a few weeks ago. I've been rebelling against a diagnosis of ante-natal depression, thinking it's 'just' a resurgence of grief, but DH2 kept looking at me so forlornly today, after 2 nights in a row of barely any sleep, that I've decided to try them.

Before I was feeling so rubbish, I dusted off my sewing machine and did some dressmaking. Well, dress adapting. I bought some XL floaty dresses in the Anthropologie sale, and have taken them in over the shoulders so they work as maternity clothes. If I get some energy back I'm going to make black out curtains for the spare bedroom/future baby bedroom next.

Happy Birthday Drama
I have no idea what a rook piercing is, but hope you like it!
daisy - I come from a line of 'make your own clothes' people, so I made all my own clothes for years . I don't much anymore ( apart from knitting) but still do mending/altering /hemming ......