Dh has died and the MN lifesavers are helping us to keep our heads above water

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread :). Thought I'd start this one like I ended the last one - Bertie crashed out after a busy day's mischief making.

X post Drama... Go maire tú an lá

Thanks!

Somer sounds like you doing the right thing starting on the ADs, hopefully they'll do the trick. Just remember they take a couple of weeks to kick in. Hope you start to feel better soon

🎉🎉Happy Birthday Drama🎉🎉

Glad it's sorted cake.
Sorry to hear you are struggling Somer, I hope the meds help quickly.
Dress altering sounds good book.

I didn't wake up till 9.30am after my late night, went over to my parents for lunch md spent the afternoon there in the sun. Very down & quite a few tears. Just lonely and missing the companionship John brought to my life. My dad was reminiscing about long ago family holidays, and I thought I'm not going to have someone I can do that with when I'm 70.

gah x post with you Somer . I think its very wise to bite the bullet, and hopefully get back on an even keel . Take care
Chasing - no words can help , just (hugs) from me

Chasing I'm sorry you are feeling so low today. Those were lovely pictures you posted of John yesterday, he looks so happy in them.

Sorry you're missing him so desperate, Chasing. It is always harder to deal with that pain on days where there hasn't been enough sleep, I think. So fingers crossed you might manage an early night or a few more hours tonight.

Thanks for the warmth and wisdom, as ever, you lot.

Lots of people, his family and friends who'd known him for years, have said to me how happy he'd been the last few years since we got together. And we were so very happy together. It's just rubbish really. I know there is nothing anyone can say, and I know that the only thing that will help (if that is the right word) is time. Bit it really does mean a lot that you all take the time to acknowledge my pain. Thank you.

Hope you are okay Juan.

Happy birthday Drama

I agree somer bereavement/loss together with lack of sleep is an awful combination. Well done for taking meds which will help you rebuild, you've had lots of life changes to get to grips with (even lovely ones require lots of strength to adjust to!). I do hope you and squirrels and juan of course are able to get rest even if full deep sleep is difficult right now.

I'm going down to the village hall later for the annual summer craft fair, hopefully there will be a plant stall too, there's always room for another plant!

A belated happy birthday drama I hope you had a fab day! It was very sunny most of the day in my neck of the woods, I hope it was for you.

Morning. Have woken up to the horrible news of another attack in London. DH still asleep, but presumably we'll go ahead with our plans.

It's so sad that people can have so much hate for each other I feel utterly sick to my stomach.

Hope you all got some sleep and a big hug to Juan Squirrel and Somer

Morning
I too have woken up to this wickedness . We have to keep loving, its the only way to counteract the hate
Hugs to all today .
The sun is shining, I will be going to my allotment
Thoughts and Prayers to all, I will be thinking and praying very hard today xx

Me too bookbook today can be dedicated to love, to simple things and to caring for all around us, to reset the balance!

Have a lovely Sunday, all!

The sun shone today after misty winter morning.

I felt so much for my London family and friends.

YY to lovely Sunday which I spent weeding the veggie beds, planting ( very late) broad beans, making Thai pumpkin soup, chard and spud curry and cumin carrot salad. Oh, and dog walking.

Now it's back to back Downtown with DD.

Drama Happy Birthday

Cake Glad it was done quickly with minimum room for him to fuss. Well done your bank staff.

Squirrels sorry you are feeling so low, those photos are lovely, his smile lights up his face. He was obviosly so happy with you.

Not doing much today, generally tidying, ironing and stuff. Finaly finished bathroom, was about demented. Put the 'good' masking tape around the window frame and when I pulled it off it pulled of a big chunk of paint from the wall! Was about in tears! It just pulled off like skin!

Bad evening last night with kids, teen had a mega strop, got my character read again, they were asrguing over who was to wash and who was drying the dishes like crazy, I was ready to walk out tbh. Spent most of pm in tears as everything getting on top of me, stupid day to day crap, no jobs on the horizon and various other things. And have had to buy a bigger size of bathing costume for hols. Never been so big in my life need to get a grip and starve for a while And to top it all off NCIS had me bubbling when I watched it later pm. What a woose Just the mood I was in though. Would have cried at anything by that point. Really think I need to go see my GP.

But its nothing to what some of you ladies have gone through so I really should give myself a shake and get on with it.

Hugs to all.

(Go Andy, us Scots have to stick together )

Just read last post it sounds a bit of a self pitying rant, sorry.

Dont mean to hijack your thread Juan.

Hugs Willow

oh Willow - its enough to get anyone down (hugs) . Just allow yourself to relax if possible. Shut out the rubbish of day to day, and try to do/read/listen to something for you even if it is only 15 minutes

That does sound like a crap day Willow Hope today has been better.

We had a good day out despite concerns. Had to answer a few questions from DD about the attacks, but yes...living our lives and loving etc

Love to all x

Happy birthday for yesterday drama, you'll be having a tattoo next! No need for apologies Willow, we're all human. I'm sad that a few of us are struggling a bit. I went out last night with my self absorbed friend and spent hours listening to her. I do genuinely feel for her but I was thinking to myself "is it not even crossing your mind that my world has altered beyond belief?" Answer is obviously no!

Then I got home and put tv on which is, apart from the tennis, one of the only times I've done so, since Mark died, and saw the dreadful news. Ds1's best friend from school is in the met so I was worried about him - Ds tried contacting him to check he was ok but no response until about an hour ago. Turns out he (ds's friend) was one of the first officers to respond and confronted one of the men with knives. Friend was at work and couldn't say much or speak long but has asked ds to go and sit with his wife tonight who is expecting their first child in November.

I don't know if I just have Sunday evening blues but I feel so flat tonight. Nothing this year has turned out the way I anticipated (in so much as I did) and the whole map of my future has changed. I can't see a whole lot to look forward to - like you squirrels no happy memories yet to be made with our respective loves. People and life obviously and rightly move on but I feel my world stopped turning on Feb 27th and I don't know how to move on anymore. I've tried being busy, I've tried being strong, I've tried giving in to the tears, I've tried going out, I've tried staying in. Out of ideas now. And they're coming to collect Mark's dialysis machine on Thursday.

Apologies for self pitying bollocks - just in one of those moods tonight. :(.

you have every right to be 'in one of those moods' Juan , and you have been trying so hard not to be. In truth I think maybe you just need to be, and not try to force yourself to be something you can't be at the moment.
We are all human , and I think that the events of the last couple of weeks has knocked the stuffing out of all of us, - and you have all the additional problems and emotions to cope with.
((hugs))

Juan that sounds so hard. (((Hugs))) for you.

i hope your DS's friend isn't too traumatised by last night. We owe a great deal to these wonderful front line heroes. Your DS sounds like a wonderful, caring young man and a trusted friend - you and Mark did a good job there.

I know Sundays/Mondays are the worst, but I'm thinking that it may be worth looking into some counselling/professional help too? While we're all here to support/help/listen they may be able to offer something we can't.

Poor DS's friend. Little E's parents are Met too and it does worry me also. Can't imagine how worried their families will feel! Have thought about baking them some cake but don't know if that would go down well...?

Hoping we all get some sleep tonight. Back to school tomorrow!

Horrible news about London, it's been another upsetting day.

Sorry your day was rubbish yesterday Willow. If you are feeling more than usually overwhelmed & tearful a chat to your GP might be a good idea

Juan sorry you are having a bad day too. I think book is quite right and you have to go along with your emotions & not try to do & be too much. It's still very early days yet

Bank holiday here tomorrow, no plans to do anything so far. The house is a bit of a tip, so will have to try to motivate myself to tackle that I think. Trouble is, I'm sadly lacking in motivation recently.

Just dropping by to say good night.

juan don't expect anything of yourself at all. Go with the flow and recognise that every swing of emotion is totally natural and expected. It's so awful for you and Squirrels and I know Somer is having some sad feelings atm.

We are all here rooting for you all and even though all we can do is pop by and see you every day on this thread, you know we will give you support for as long as it's helpful.

It will be another milestone when they come to collect Mark's dialysis machine, but I would hazard a guess that if Mark were there, he'd be saying that it's good because it will be helping someone else with the same condition as him.

Night, night all, sleep / rest well.