Ex has died, child support have written.

[SimplyPut]

Not sure if this is the right location but here goes.

I left Ex when DC1&2 were under 2.5yrs. He was abusive to me, financially abusive to us all and choose to have no contact with the children from then on. He had paid a total of £472 in maintenance over a 13yr period. He frequently left jobs etc with CSA found him, arrested his wages at one point so he moved again. Of the £472, £40 was made up of £5 postal orders sent when he was unemployed from the DWP.

He recently committed suicide. Today I received a letter stating he owed over £20k in maintenance. Of which £16k is owed to me.
If I don't make contact then they will pursue his estate for their share only.

What would you do? Do I upset his family (3DC's and a partner/parents) and pursue this for the DC's or just leave it be?

You get that it IS money owed to his DCs, no?

No I don't really get it actually.

The children are owed £16,000 and the CSA are owed £4000 - which is something like their commission? So if there is only £4,000 left in the estate after creditors the CSA will take it, the children won't see it. As the CSA is supposed to be about ensuring children are properly provided for, I think it's a bit gross that they'd get their costs fully met first. Or do I have it completely wrong?

You have it completely wrong, I think. Generally all creditors (CSA & OP are creditors) get paid in proportion to the amount available in the estate. No?

Sorry missed the middle of a sentence out there

Get paid in the proportions of what they are owed, from what is available in the estate

Eg if £5k available and no other creditors then CSA gets £1k OP gets £4k. Is my understanding.

Persue. It's a no brainer. How old are DCs now? Whack it in a help to buy isa or something. It'll be invaluable.

That isn't how it would work at all.

And even if it were like that, (which it isn't) I don't see what's so extraordinary about their estate being used to pay back money that they owe.

www.pensionsadvisoryservice.org.uk/about-pensions/saving-into-a-pension/dependants-benefits

"I thought pensions were only transferred to spouse's?"

No - he probably would have filled out a form stating who he wished to benefit from his pension or any death in service benefit. Most people will tend to list their OH and/or children. As 43percentburn states, people often forget who they name as beneficiaries and often are under the illusion that pensions/life insurance policies/endowments will fall under a Will or into the intestate estate; however, that is not the case. They are dealt with separately. It may be worth looking into as you and/or the children could be named beneficiaries and he may not have updated.

I think you should pursue it. To be honest it doesn't sound that hopeful that you'll get much, if anything. But, on the other hand perhaps he did have a little nest egg and your children are entitled to their share of it. Reply and see what comes if it.

Of it

After you die, any tax you owe the estate has to pay to the HMRC so why should paying owed child support be any different.

Also I understood that for some pensions the trustees can use their discretion who they pay out to. Surely all the children of the deceased should receive equal shares of any payments made to child dependents.

Yes the trustees normally assess the situation after death. They take into account the wishes of the person who has died (if they left any expression of wish). But they can take into account children not named for example and decide to make an award to them.

So worth finding out if any pensions or workplace benefits .

I believe death in service can be changed by the employer if they deem other dependants are more in need. I'm sure mine states they will look to pay out as per my wishes but it's not guaranteed. At the end of day most parents look to provide for their children, if he was too selfish to do that, take all you are legally allowed to. Pop it away for driving lessons, weddings or towards house deposits. It only gets more expensive!

Just read your vulture comment. Sadly society wants women to be seen as money driven so they choose not to pursue men for money. It's strangely seen as acceptable for an absent parent to not pay maintenance, they are not seen as greedy skinflints. I cannot imagine entering a relationship, let alone having a child, with anyone who does not contribute over the cms minimum for their child. Regardless of whether the resident parent is on benefits or a millionaire. I can't think of any acceptable justification.

You are not a vulture picking over the remains. You are pursuing your children's legal and rightful claim. That is the correct thing to do as they are too young to pursue it themselves.

What do you kids think? Not sure I'd ask them though.

I'd pursue the money and put it towards Uni.

Are you entitled to any bereavement payments as you would be if you were a 2 parent family?

Evening everyone, I have been mulling over everyone's thoughts and advice. I honestly don't know where to start looking with regards to Ex's pension etc. Does anyone know?

I know you are all right, I need to do this for the children.

You need to find out who the executor of his estate is. A lawyer ought to be able to tell you how to find out so that you can claim on behalf of your children.

If you know where he worked, the Hr dept will be able to give you details of the pension scheme administrators or trustees. Many workplace schemes provide for childrens pensions as well as spouses & in addition to any lump sum payable on death. Hope that helps.

Post on legal to find out where to start.

Contact his work HR department.

did you ever have joint life insurance?

Do you have legal advice as part of your employment contract or building/contents insurance? Mine has a 24 hour legal helpline. That would be a good starting point.