Tell me there's an innocent explanation for this...

[backscratcher]

Talk me down please.

Been with dp almost 3 years. Lovely guy, good relationship, no doubts whatsoever about him. Both in our late 30s, live together, I have one child from previous relationship. We're happy.

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday. Small party/family meal has been planned - details confirmed about 2 weeks ago. I discussed with dp who said he couldn't make it as he had to work overtime tomorrow and wouldn't be finished until late. Was unsure at what time exactly, but would be late. Overtime isn't uncommon in his workplace, but he doesn't tend to pick it up. We don't need the overtime money. Not well off, but not struggling - managing ok. I thought nothing of it.

Tonight he's gone upstairs for a bath and left his phone on charge in the kitchen. Phone buzzed with a message. It's an iphone where part of the message shows up on the homescreen but it's password protected and I don't know the password. Message said "6:30 suits me. XXXXXX does great french martinis!! ;-) Are you coming straight..." It was from David. I don't know a David. I don't know that he is friends with a David.
I googled the XXXXX place and it's a pub/restaurant place about a 40 minute drive away.

This was about an hour and a half ago.
He's in bed now and I'm sitting here shaking.

Please talk me down. This is innocent, right?

:-(

Alpies, I'm not sure it would be wise for an emotional person to drive 40mins there and 40mins back to confront someone who quite probably isn't there anymore

What a bastard

Oh backscratcher I'm so sorry to read your updates.

What an absolute cunt, OP I'm so so sorry. It's better you knew, but I'm so sorry you're hurting. It's not fair that it's the innocent one who gets so hurt in these situations.

Please take care of yourself.

What a bastard. And why? You've no kids together. He knew your history. He wanted to try for kids yet he's having an affair?!?

I'm so sorry op xxxx

Absolute fucker. Hope you are ok and have some irl support op.

So sorry lass. I hope your evening was as good as possible.

I am so sorry I really hoped there was an innocent explanation.

Thinking of you.

Sorry to read your updates OP. what an asshole. Future is bright though woyhout these cheaters.

I had a similar thing with first uttercuntofa h. Didn't have mobiles then but he convinced me he was meeting a male friend. When I found out it was a female, she, of course was gay (according to him) I had just had our first baby and was very unwell with pnd. The last straw was finding letters from her and half written unposted ones from him to her. I can still feel that gut wrenching pain. I'm so sorry

Sorry OP.

I'm so sorry this has happened, but I am glad you've found out before having a child with this man. You deserve better

Fucking hell OP, what a twat he is.

You sound incredibly strong, you'll get through this.

One of my Ex's OW was called " Edward". Only found out about her because his phone lit up with messages. Lots of "hello". Men don;t text each other like that. I rang it and Tina answered. She was lovely. She thought I was the "lodger". Nice. Why the fuck did I stay for more? But I did. Tina had slept with him of course but nice girl as she was, she was horrified as she thought he was single.

Iv felt sick reading this. I'm so so sorry op. My heart is breaking for you.
He doesn't deserve you, never did

I've had a text from him. Hedidn't hang up on me -his phone ran out of charge. He's only just been able tocharge it. He doesn't know what the fuck I'm talking about re: french martinis and xxxxx. He'd blown off the overtime and gone out with some guys from work to watch the football. He doesn't know why I'n being so arsey with him. What the fuck is wrong with me? What's the point in him coming home if I'm just looking for an argument. Enjoy your night and ending with a x.
All this in text from the man who can usually only bear to text a three word response. I've tried to call. Phone is ringing but no answer.
I'm going home soon and doors will be locked and his shit will be out front.

Either he's telling the truth, or it's taken him this long to formulate an excuse. Still doesn't explain him taking his aftershave, does it?

I don't understand why he didn't come to the meal if that was the case.

So he's denying even receiving that text??

That's the best he can come up with after four hours?

Don't believe his lies, you deserve better and you know you do.

Chuck his stuff out the front as planned and cut all contact with the arse wipe.

Here's to the future without cheating toads.

Quite plausible. But doesn't explain the text you saw.

Don't let him pull the wool over your eyes!!

Of course he knows what you're talking about - the text about the martinis was on his phone!