Tell me there's an innocent explanation for this...

[backscratcher]

Talk me down please.

Been with dp almost 3 years. Lovely guy, good relationship, no doubts whatsoever about him. Both in our late 30s, live together, I have one child from previous relationship. We're happy.

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday. Small party/family meal has been planned - details confirmed about 2 weeks ago. I discussed with dp who said he couldn't make it as he had to work overtime tomorrow and wouldn't be finished until late. Was unsure at what time exactly, but would be late. Overtime isn't uncommon in his workplace, but he doesn't tend to pick it up. We don't need the overtime money. Not well off, but not struggling - managing ok. I thought nothing of it.

Tonight he's gone upstairs for a bath and left his phone on charge in the kitchen. Phone buzzed with a message. It's an iphone where part of the message shows up on the homescreen but it's password protected and I don't know the password. Message said "6:30 suits me. XXXXXX does great french martinis!! ;-) Are you coming straight..." It was from David. I don't know a David. I don't know that he is friends with a David.
I googled the XXXXX place and it's a pub/restaurant place about a 40 minute drive away.

This was about an hour and a half ago.
He's in bed now and I'm sitting here shaking.

Please talk me down. This is innocent, right?

:-(

Thinking of you,go out have a dance and a few drinks, try put him out of your mind tonight xx

Oh no, I was hoping to look at the thread today and see that there was an innocent explanation for all this.

So sorry, you must be in bits x

Have just read this thread. Sorry for what you're going though OP.

What a dickhead. And what a pathetic thing to do, switching off his phone so you couldn't reach him to scream/cry/swear -whatever you felt like doing. It wouldn't have have changed anything, but you probably felt an overwhelming need to vent in some way, which he denied you. Arsehole.

I hope you get through your sister's dinner ok tonight

I'm sorry he's turned out to be a prick.

Fuck fuck OP, im so sorry he has done this to you. What a fucking wanker.

I hope you have locked him out and his stuff is waiting for him outside. Please seek real life support too, from friends or family.

This is one of those threads where I was hoping it was all paranoia - I'm very sorry it wasn't and I'm sorry he wasn't who you thought he was.

Was watching this with hope for an innocent explanation - you deserve better.

So sorry op, I really thought there was an innocent explanation. What a complete 🔔 end!

The fact that he has hung up and is now avoiding you, makes him even more of a shit. At least you know his time with fancy woman has well and truly been ruined, he must be shitting a brick right about now.

Good luck, OP. And good for you putting on a brave face and going out.

Been watching this from the start, my words of wisdom were to stay positive earlier.
I'm sorry OP, no one deserves this.

I was hoping for an innocent explanation so sorry OP!

I'm so sorry you're going through this! You're so brave going to your sisters meal so well done!

His phone will be off because he's frantically thinking of what he can say to get his out of this! Once he's thought of it you'll hear from him.. don't buy his bullshit and don't let onto him what you know! Remember he doesn't know how much you know! X

I'm so sorry OP, this is so sad

I think he knows the relationship is over so he probably is just reconciling himself to that fact.

I bet this isn't the first time he's used work as a cover for playing away.

I also have endometriosis I sympathise sincerely I thought he would turn out to be a nice guy there's castration

So sorry op been there and it's fucking awful. But you are better than this, you've rebuilt before and you can and will do it again

Sorry to read your update
Surround yourself with people who love you and can support you work through this. Get some help if you need it to work through your feelings and decide how you want to move on in your life.
You've survived this once before, and by the sounds of it you are much stronger now than you were then. You will come out of the other side.
Hugs for you OP xx

Oh god OP. You've been so incredibly classy. He can go fuck himself. What an absolute bastard.

This is so awful but you are now actually in a better position than you were in that you now know that this cheating asshole is a cheating asshole and you can start making decisions to break up, repair and move forward with someone who is genuinely committed to you and your DD.

I'm sorry though, I know that doesnt help right now.

You are so much better than this and deserve so much more.

So sorry for what ur going through Op. can't be easy. However why don't u just go to the 'french martini' place? See for yourself. Sometimes it's best to just bite the bullet and face things head on. That way no second guessing and you can make an informed decision.

Oh OP I'm so sorry. I really wanted to be wrong.

What a cunt he is.

Enjoy your sister and your parents. And you have your little girl to keep going for as well. You have great people in your court, whereas he is a sad fucker with a micropenis (in our minds anyway).

Hugs and gin to you x

Just rtft and hope you're ok

Yes, take your Dad with you.

Sorry to hear this OP.

I doubt he has been unlucky enough to get caught first time.

Please as a PP poster says go to a STI clinic and get checked out.

Was so hoping this would have a happier ending...think you have handled yourself perfectly-not sure I could be as dignified in this scenario.