Tell me there's an innocent explanation for this...

[backscratcher]

Talk me down please.

Been with dp almost 3 years. Lovely guy, good relationship, no doubts whatsoever about him. Both in our late 30s, live together, I have one child from previous relationship. We're happy.

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday. Small party/family meal has been planned - details confirmed about 2 weeks ago. I discussed with dp who said he couldn't make it as he had to work overtime tomorrow and wouldn't be finished until late. Was unsure at what time exactly, but would be late. Overtime isn't uncommon in his workplace, but he doesn't tend to pick it up. We don't need the overtime money. Not well off, but not struggling - managing ok. I thought nothing of it.

Tonight he's gone upstairs for a bath and left his phone on charge in the kitchen. Phone buzzed with a message. It's an iphone where part of the message shows up on the homescreen but it's password protected and I don't know the password. Message said "6:30 suits me. XXXXXX does great french martinis!! ;-) Are you coming straight..." It was from David. I don't know a David. I don't know that he is friends with a David.
I googled the XXXXX place and it's a pub/restaurant place about a 40 minute drive away.

This was about an hour and a half ago.
He's in bed now and I'm sitting here shaking.

Please talk me down. This is innocent, right?

:-(

Ah Jesus, what a twat. I recommend getting some friends over and getting completely trollied. OR driving to the hotel and smashing davids face in.......

I found a similar message years ago.
I rang the hotel and asked to be put through to Mr Ferris room.
They put me through and he answered.

OP can you call somebody to be with you right now so you aren't alone?

Sorry OP. What a cunt. Pack his shit and go to your sister

What a prick. I would pack his bags, leave them in the garden and go out and celebrate being rid of him with your sister.

for you

Been lurking, hoping that this was something else going on. REALLY sorry to read your update.
Just wanted to echo TheMadHugger and send you a virtual hug.

Things are going to be shit for a while - but it will get better (eventually).

Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

I'm so sorry

Oh my goodness OP, I'm so sorry

OP you must be devastated so sorry.
I echo PPs, pack his stuff leave it in the back garden. Text him to tell him where it is (or leave a message at the hotel desk). I'd also change the locks if poss, then go stay at your sisters. What a shit he is.

Oh fuck. So sorry op

So sorry OP. He is a cunt. Go to your sisters, get pissed and block him for tonight x

Tell someone in rl, you need someone with you. Get a friend or someone round, open a bottle of wine and have a good cry with them.

Well done for holding it together and not suddenly exploding at him last night. You did amazingly to get through work today. Please try to surround yourself with some other people or have someone come to you x

I'm so sorry OP ❤❤❤

Go and have fun at your sisters tonight you deserve it!

So sorry OP. What a complete shitbag!!! Shows there is no 'type' sadly....what an utter bastard.

X

Well done OP. I say go get pissed with your sister and leave him to it for tonight. X

I am really sorry op. Wishing you strength for dealing with this fallout. Well done on confronting him.

Pack his stuff and deliver it to him. He can enjoy it with his tart and martini

I am so sorry OP.

I'm not sure I'd be away from the house tonight tbh, he might be on his way back and that's why you can't get hold of him.

Can you speak to anyone in rl? I know it's your sister's event but can you speak to her? You need some rl support.

I'm so sorry.

I've called the hotel. No room booked in his name. I've checked joint account - all ok there. He has a credit card that I don't have access to.
His phone's still off.
I considered phoning the pub and asking to speak to him but (a) I'm scared to and (b) he's not likely to say 'oh yes I'm cunty mccuntface, I'll take that call and (c) if he knows I know the place then he probably won't be there now.
I'm not going to drive to the place for the same reason as (c). Plus, I need a fucking drink right now. Plus I don't want the humiliation of doing that.

Thank you all for the hand holding. I'm going to pour a drink then rip apart this house to see what I can find.

What a fucking shit bag. Hanging up on you Twat.

Can you call someone and let them know? I know it's your sisters birthday but I would hate it if my sister had this happen to her and felt she had to keep it in so as to not ruin my birthday.

Call her

Bless you. I second having a few tonight!

And brace yourself to stand strong if he dares to say you've got it wrong somehow....!!

What an utter cunt. I'm so sorry OP.

Because OP wanted to post it, Zesty, so keep your stupid humphy face to yourself.

OP... I would take one bit of advice from a PP on this thread. IF and when you need some proper support, start a new thread. Steer well clear of this one because it's full of disgusting rubberneckers masquerading as well-meaning posters.

Not all are like that, there are some very wise and kindly posters in amongst your thread but you'd be hard-pushed to differentiate because of the mawkish drama twats desperate for drama and pain that they don't actually have to live themselves.

I'm so sorry, OP! The fucker!!!

Just be aware that he has now got time to formulate a plausible excuse for you!

I wouldn't believe a word of it!!!