Angry husband, what he hiding?

[Carrotpuree]

My DH has been extra special lovely this last few days so was really looking forward to last night, glass of wine after DC went to bed. He said he needed to get some cash out for haircut first thing tomorrow but when I said I already had some in he could take he started making up reasons to still need to go tonight - none sensible. Then I said could he just stay in for one evening without going to the shop or the ATM and he absolutely exploded. He goes out during DCs bath time to run a errand 2/3 nights a week and then often goes out to run a 2nd after their bedtime while I'm cooking. I'm starting to get paranoid and judging by his reaction I think I may be right. DS woke up and so we both had a moment to step back so when DH returned I said sod it walk to the shop & get the cash, not sure how much I have a anyway (lie) and he went into stroppy toy taken off toddler mode. Won't go at all now etc etc WTF? I know him, angry attack is his defensive response. Any suggestions on how to recover the long weekend (he decided to sleep on the sofa) and get to the bottom of this?

Are there any single women living a few doors up?

Single women? Ooh ar, they're a bad lot.

Perhaps it could be someone from work? Before my sisters ex-boyfriend split up with her, he was being funny about her reading back his whatsapp messages. After they split, they were still sharing a place and she came home early from a work do to find him in bed with a girl from work who was 14 years younger than her.

I'm a different sort of person, but I'd be tempted to turn up to the place of work and sniff out who it could be. Or invite myself along to a work night out.

Spliff

I'm a single woman. I'm always looking for married men who are passing by my door after dark...

Is it not any different than walking the dog round the block just to get out of the house then?

Thanks CherylVole. "Go fucking you"

I am going. I am proud of myself that I have a wonderful DH. I am proud that I recognised I was in an abusive relationship, found information on mumsnet, did the freedom programme, left him, struggled on as a single mum, trained for a new career, and when I dated men had very clear boundaries and high expectations of their behaviour. I am proud that I learnt so much and am now with someone who is wonderful and kind and never gets pissed off and sleeps on the sofa. Go me.

Haha this thread reminds me of when I grew up with a single mum who always complained that other women treated her with suspicion and thought she might steal their husbands if they were introduced.

She did shag a fair few married men though, to be fair.

Have you ever thought he slept on the couch fluffy too avoid an argument? Like I've said by his reaction this isn't the first he's been questioned where he goes.

I think we all have our own views on what counts as an abusive relationship but because somebody sleeps on a couch I wouldn't say that's abusive at all.

I met someone last year - a married man - he was on my property for 15 minutes and tried to get me to have sex with him. I didn't know him and he only had 15 minutes to spare.

Don't assume 10- 15 mins isn't enough time. No doubt this guy's wife felt that way too.

I turned him down incidentally. I gave him a piece of my mind too.

Oh and I'm single and despite him being a shit, this guy was very attractive. I still said no!

15 minutes to have a shag with a conveniently located, willing woman is a bit of stretch but I suppose doable. To also be able to purchase a toblerone and a can of pop in that quarter of an hour slot is taking it too far

My dad does this, he just likes sneaking off on his own family joke now

Ask him

I didn't say it means it's an abusive relationship. I said I've been in one. I said that my boundaries would mean I wouldnt accept DH getting angry with me in this scenario and sleeping on the sofa. It's the context of sleeping on the sofa and the intention of the person doing it. How can you assume that he's been questioned before from his reaction? Maybe he reacted like this because he has something to hide. We don't know. Why not let the OP say what happened before. She's the one asking for advice and support.

Sorry Op this sounds identical to my friends situation. He was going out to do his evening phone calls (plural, not just one woman).
I hope it's not the case for you

I very much doubt he's actually shagging anyone in that time, but he could be phoning/texting them.

I'm still on kestrels

Them bloody kestrels

fluffy because she mentioned he does it frequently so I'm guessing she has asked before. Almost like some posters are guessing he is guilty and something too hide. I'm looking at it from he's fed up of being questioned where as some posters have taken it as first time asked and got defensivd.

Maybe it's the shop assistant that's the attraction?

Either a woman or gambling on his phone would be my bet. I'd be clocking who works the evening shift in the shop since he is so fond of going there of an evening.

Check all your accounts for suspicious transactions (dinners out or gambling sites).

It's scary the amount of suggestions for tracking him

You do realise that's illegal?! Besides if you have to track your own partner I think the marriage is over anyway, isn't it?

And for those who are saying he's 100% having an affair. Really? You know this how?

Nobody said he's 100% having an affair.

Where did you get that from?

Shameless placemarking 😉