Angry husband, what he hiding?

[Carrotpuree]

My DH has been extra special lovely this last few days so was really looking forward to last night, glass of wine after DC went to bed. He said he needed to get some cash out for haircut first thing tomorrow but when I said I already had some in he could take he started making up reasons to still need to go tonight - none sensible. Then I said could he just stay in for one evening without going to the shop or the ATM and he absolutely exploded. He goes out during DCs bath time to run a errand 2/3 nights a week and then often goes out to run a 2nd after their bedtime while I'm cooking. I'm starting to get paranoid and judging by his reaction I think I may be right. DS woke up and so we both had a moment to step back so when DH returned I said sod it walk to the shop & get the cash, not sure how much I have a anyway (lie) and he went into stroppy toy taken off toddler mode. Won't go at all now etc etc WTF? I know him, angry attack is his defensive response. Any suggestions on how to recover the long weekend (he decided to sleep on the sofa) and get to the bottom of this?

Suspicious. Getting angry at a reasonable request rather than calmly saying I just need a breather.

Getting angry and then sleeping on the sofa mean that OP is less likely to question the behaviour directly again which is what the DH wants.

This If my DH got angry with me for making a simple request or slept in the sofa because he was angry I would think I had married the wrong man and leave him. is the best bit of the thread so far

I also thought that was a slight overreaction fecking

Good relationships are based on consideration for the other party and honesty. There's not much of these going on. What's interesting is that he chooses his moments: either the OP is engaged with bathing the kids or preparing a meal. His reaction to being deterred from his "escape plan" is very, very telling indeed. And so is sleeping on the sofa when there was patently no reason to. He's definitely up to no good, the only question is "what"?

In the OP's shoes I'd say and appear to be doing absolutely nothing while remaining vigilant and putting a plan together to find out where he goes and what he does. And it's clear that it's not a brisk walk to get some space and do some thinking!

Many years ago I had a failed attempt to give up smoking, DW was/is an ex and became very anti.

I acted just the same, finding opportunities to nip out for a smoke. Managed to conceal it for several months before she found out and we had the inevitable big row I had been trying to avoid.

My ex used to do exactly this. Lasted months. I'd had enough and checked his ipad. Found messages to OW saying "I'll tell her we need bread, ring you in 10 minutes" etc.

Just be alert OP.

"Luckily my husband is wonderful "

Go fucking you.

Well done everyone who has a fantastic husband. I assume you know that because you regularly check his phone and have a tracking device installed on his person, otherwise how would you know? Could be up to all sorts.

MAYBE he has befriended a kestrel and is trying to teach it tricks

My money's on ten minutes fucking peace, but that's just me

That'll be it Cheryl Same thing happened to my friend.

Kestrels. The love that dare not speak its name.

Could be obsessed with FaceApp and likes to see himself as a woman in private

Now something like that DID happen to my family.

Aaah now I'm reminiscing about the women's clothing in the loft thread.
The coming home to a house of lit candles thread.

Mibbe he needs to get his step count up for his Fitbit.

God I'd love that

You don't need to leave the house to be "up to something" on your phone. Also, who couldn't be phone someone for a few minutes from work or on his way home? Why draw attention to it by making a special outing?

Checking his phone bill will prove nothing as you can voice chat and text in many ways that will never show up on any bill

Are there any other periods during the week apart from the 10-20 minutes he goes out to get some Cheesy Wotsits or whatever, that are unaccounted for?

Maybe he fancies/is going to see the person working in the shop?

You do need to leave the house if you actually want to speak to someone on the phone without being heard. You can walk to the shop at the same time as well.

Five minute phone conversations to secret lovers are a bit 1980's

#KenMasters

I would bet my bottom dollar on a crafty fag

He's doing the love messages/arranging to meet while op is busy so that when they meet up for 10 minutes they can get straight to it with no preamble. The getting angry and sleeping on the sofa is way over the top for it to be just a needing space issue.