My fucking, fucking husband

[CheesyChristie]

He's been a monumental shit to me since ds2 was born (18 months ago). It all came to a head a couple of weeks ago and I told him I was leaving if he didn't change. We had a really good talk, I explained everything I was unhappy about - having fallen into being a sahm so he can focus on his career

• moving to other side of country, again so he can focus on job
• him leaving me in the house from 6am to 9/10pm due to combination of staying at work and running/ cycling to station rather than driving even when I had gastritis and was crying asking him to come home and help me
• refusing to believe ds1 has autism despite diagnosis, thinks I am just overreacting to his behaviour as I can't cope with him
• offering no support when I was diagnosed with pnd, not once in the last year asking how I feel about it, anything.
• refusing to acknowledge ds1 needs any additional support

-doing nothing with the kids, ever Loads of other stuff I can't even think of now, but generally just treating me as a skivvy and not his wife.

Anyway after a long talk he promised to change. Look into doing one day a week from home. Only run to station once a week. Plan activities for weekend once a month.

I've just looked at my phone and I've had a missed call from his office at 3.30. He does this when he goes out with workmates - rings once when he's leaving so I can't get arsey because he didn't tell me he was going out. This means he'll be getting a taxi back from the station which costs about £35. Ds1 has an important grading tomorrow at 8.30am. It's the one thing he enjoys and is really good at. He is excited about it and I've never seen him excited before. I cannot attend if ds2 is there - ds1 needs me in the room and ds2 screams because he can't run around. Dh will not be able to look after ds2, he'll spend the morning still drunk, puking and shitting. I'm sat here sobbing.

The absolute fucking, bellend, arsecock. I want to go home. I just want my mum. I just can't do all this on my own.

Sorry, just wanted a rant really. I live in the arse end of nowhere, lived here for two years and still don't have any friends here.

He's proving himself to be inadequate as a father and husband. Bet he thinks he's great - earning all the money.

Hope he came home Cheesy.
Thinking of you, and hoping your little boy passes, best of luck little man. ⭐️

Hope he came home good luck to DS1!

Good luck today. Hope DS gets to do his grading.

You have plenty of time to deal with H and I hope you have the bravery to LTB. He really doesn't deserve you.

I'm in the Medway arse end of Kent if you need help OP.

Good luck to your DS today

Also wanted to send good wishes for today, hope it all goes well

Hope today goes OK OP. Throw whatever is necessary at DS2 - iPad, headphones, snacks etc. Whatever it takes to keep him quiet.

Then leave. He's a twat and I suspect your depression and struggles will lift when you aren't shouldering 12 stone of selfish arsehole.

Hope you are ok op. Good look to your son today.
Please make plans for a new life without your disrespectful h.
He will say anything to, keep you, but trust me he will not change.

Hope the grading went well

Hope it all went well this morning. Please give us an update when you can.

❤️❤️❤️

I'm currently sat in the garden at my mums with a glass of wine.

Dh came in at 2ish. I'd moved myself and ds2 into spare room (we co-sleep so obvs can't have him in the same bed with us if he's drunk). Packed a couple of bags and put them in the car last night. Went to grading with both boys this morning. Ds1 got his new karate belt and is thrilled to pieces. The very lovely reception lady agreed to look after ds2 and he was apparently very happy the whole time. We went for pizza after and I told them we were going on a surprise holiday to grandma's. The drive down was relatively ok - both boys slept for most of it.

I turned up at my mums (hadn't prewarned her as she'd start scrubbing the house and baking cakes) and she just told me to sit in the garden with a glass of wine. She's taken the boys to the park. I'll tell her about dh once boys in bed but guess she's worked it out!

Not heard anything from dh. He's probably still in bed and thinking I'm being extra nice taking boys out so he can rest.

Thanks for everyone's advice - I'm feeling at peace right now. I know I'll have to deal with dh soon but right now I'm perfectly happy.

That is a lovely update to hear.
Well done on your DS
and well done you

Well done, have a good evening 👋

Amazing congratulations to your DS and to you for being a phenomenal mother. You've done the right thing, your wine

Well done indeed. Let your mom look after you for a while x 🍷

Really pleased to read this update. Take some time to clear your head

Well done. And well done DS1!!

Congratulations on DS's shiny new belt! And on your new happier self.

What are you going to do next? Is this "it"?

When he notices gets in touch, what are you going to do? Is there anything he can possibly do to make this right? Etc. Know yourself and your dealbreakers.

Have a lovely evening!

Love this update! Yay for DS1 and the receptionist and your mum. Enjoy your wine and the peace.

Don't worry about school- I'm a primary school teacher- they will understand. Sorting out your family/life is far more important than a few days/weeks of primary school.

Amazing update, well done you!
Enjoy this well deserved breather at your mum's.
I suggest you get a very good solicitor.

You are an absolute legend op. Absolutely fantastic course of action. You should be bloody proud of yourself- cos even though I'm just a stranger on the internet, fwiw im bloody proud of you.

And huge congrats to ds1 - what a little

Youre fabulous x