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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My fucking, fucking husband

607 replies

CheesyChristie · 21/04/2017 18:59

He's been a monumental shit to me since ds2 was born (18 months ago). It all came to a head a couple of weeks ago and I told him I was leaving if he didn't change. We had a really good talk, I explained everything I was unhappy about - having fallen into being a sahm so he can focus on his career

  • moving to other side of country, again so he can focus on job
  • him leaving me in the house from 6am to 9/10pm due to combination of staying at work and running/ cycling to station rather than driving even when I had gastritis and was crying asking him to come home and help me
  • refusing to believe ds1 has autism despite diagnosis, thinks I am just overreacting to his behaviour as I can't cope with him
  • offering no support when I was diagnosed with pnd, not once in the last year asking how I feel about it, anything.
  • refusing to acknowledge ds1 needs any additional support
-doing nothing with the kids, ever Loads of other stuff I can't even think of now, but generally just treating me as a skivvy and not his wife.

Anyway after a long talk he promised to change. Look into doing one day a week from home. Only run to station once a week. Plan activities for weekend once a month.

I've just looked at my phone and I've had a missed call from his office at 3.30. He does this when he goes out with workmates - rings once when he's leaving so I can't get arsey because he didn't tell me he was going out. This means he'll be getting a taxi back from the station which costs about £35. Ds1 has an important grading tomorrow at 8.30am. It's the one thing he enjoys and is really good at. He is excited about it and I've never seen him excited before. I cannot attend if ds2 is there - ds1 needs me in the room and ds2 screams because he can't run around. Dh will not be able to look after ds2, he'll spend the morning still drunk, puking and shitting. I'm sat here sobbing.

The absolute fucking, bellend, arsecock. I want to go home. I just want my mum. I just can't do all this on my own.

Sorry, just wanted a rant really. I live in the arse end of nowhere, lived here for two years and still don't have any friends here.

OP posts:
Whatcouldpossiblygowrong · 05/05/2017 21:46

Sorry that was supposed to be a new thread not a comment here no idea what happened

CauliflowerSqueeze · 05/05/2017 22:05

He utterly utterly resented you spending a penny of "his" money. And for that reason I think it's very wise advice to get all his accounts looked into professionally. I'd bet you anything he has a private account stashed away where he thinks you won't find it.

He's repulsive for what he did when you had toothache.

Your son is with you the massive majority of the time. You being supported by family and feeling happier in your own "territory" is the stability he needs. The change of school will be fine.

mathanxiety · 06/05/2017 02:32

I agree with you, Rumbling. Get your own turf, OP.
I also agree with all the advice to get someone to track down all your H's money.

You have the summer ahead to scope out a new school and a new martial arts club.

buckeejit · 06/05/2017 20:37

I agree if it's best for you to be near your mum it will be best for ds. Also it will show dh that he doesn't control the narrative of your life. I'd express concern to solicitor that he has kept financial info from you. Hopefully you can get a clean break soon. Hang in there, you're doing great.

Teabay · 12/05/2017 06:17

Hope you're ok, OP.

Are things going to plan for you? Flowers

40somethingwonderful · 12/05/2017 06:51

Hope everything is okay op.

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