My fucking, fucking husband

[CheesyChristie]

He's been a monumental shit to me since ds2 was born (18 months ago). It all came to a head a couple of weeks ago and I told him I was leaving if he didn't change. We had a really good talk, I explained everything I was unhappy about - having fallen into being a sahm so he can focus on his career

• moving to other side of country, again so he can focus on job
• him leaving me in the house from 6am to 9/10pm due to combination of staying at work and running/ cycling to station rather than driving even when I had gastritis and was crying asking him to come home and help me
• refusing to believe ds1 has autism despite diagnosis, thinks I am just overreacting to his behaviour as I can't cope with him
• offering no support when I was diagnosed with pnd, not once in the last year asking how I feel about it, anything.
• refusing to acknowledge ds1 needs any additional support

-doing nothing with the kids, ever Loads of other stuff I can't even think of now, but generally just treating me as a skivvy and not his wife.

Anyway after a long talk he promised to change. Look into doing one day a week from home. Only run to station once a week. Plan activities for weekend once a month.

I've just looked at my phone and I've had a missed call from his office at 3.30. He does this when he goes out with workmates - rings once when he's leaving so I can't get arsey because he didn't tell me he was going out. This means he'll be getting a taxi back from the station which costs about £35. Ds1 has an important grading tomorrow at 8.30am. It's the one thing he enjoys and is really good at. He is excited about it and I've never seen him excited before. I cannot attend if ds2 is there - ds1 needs me in the room and ds2 screams because he can't run around. Dh will not be able to look after ds2, he'll spend the morning still drunk, puking and shitting. I'm sat here sobbing.

The absolute fucking, bellend, arsecock. I want to go home. I just want my mum. I just can't do all this on my own.

Sorry, just wanted a rant really. I live in the arse end of nowhere, lived here for two years and still don't have any friends here.

So glad you went. I did something similar once and kept ds1 then age 10 out of school for a week. Not ideal but sometimes needs must. Your H is extremely selfish - wonder how long it will take him to notice you've gone?

Well done. And congratulations to DS1!

I can just picture you enjoying the rest and the sun in your face....

Well done to your DM she instinctively knew what you needed!

Hope you have a good chin wag later

Cheesy I have just read the thread and wanted to say that you need to give yourself a huge pat on the back for what you've just accomplished.

You sorted out bags, sorted out DS2 during the grading, went out with them and then drove all that way to your mum's! That's no mean feat, you know. I'm sure you're knackered now but anyone would be.

What I mean is, I think you're stronger and more able to cope than you think you are. Good luck for the future

Oh well done! I have been worried about you all pm!! I am so glad you are at your mum's. Take the time to take stock, relax and formulate a plan and the very best of luck to you .

Well done. You are such a great example for those boys.

Well done to your ds for passing his grading! Also, just to echo others, well done to you for sorting everything out without your husband. You're better off without him. Best of luck for the future.

Well done Cheeselet1!
Good boy, Cheeselet2!

Well done, Cheesy, well done to you.

Yes, it'll be tough at times, and yes you'll be sad angry happy upside down for a while, and dh will probably promise you the earth (but you know his promises are Two-Week Wonders). At least you now have people around you who can support and help.

Best wishes op, well done for leaving. It's hard but it's so worth it xx

awful though it is I'm not sure somebody binge drinking and puking is necessarily an alcoholic

Binge drinking is a major pointer towards present (or future alcoholism). It indicates that the drinker is unable to stop- even if s/he doesn't touch another drop for the next 6 months, when they do, they can't control their drinking. Not all alcoholics drink on a daily basis.

It is also much more likely to result in alcohol poisoning. I assume your H is in his 30's. He should have grown out of this sort of selfish, stupid, infantile behaviour by now.

Well done OP

Never mind your fucking fucking husband, this update is fucking fucking fantastic!

Well done you - any chance your mum has been watching from afar hoping she would get the chance to step in and help? Enjoy this time to really think about what is right for you and your boys.

for you and some for your mum who obviously worked out immediately what you needed.
Be strong and don't contact your DH.

What a great update! Well done DS and well
done you! You have taken a huge step in right direction today! Keep us updated. Lots of support on here for you.

That is such good news. So pleased you are at your mum's, and that DS1 got through his grading.

I'm sure that a good talk with your DM will follow. Wishing you all the best.

Omg seldom have I so strongly wanted to high five someone!

You are AMAZING! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻😃😃

Good for you OP. Enough of that shit. Congrats to your DS. Cheers to you

You rock. Cheers to you and to your mum.

I read this thread yesterday and was thinking of you all day today. So glad you took some positive action OP. I wonder if your mum has seen how sad you are and how much of a shit your husband has been and has been hoping you'd leave him. Stay strong OP and keep us updated.

Oh and well done to DC1 for smashing it and getting your new belt - that's awesome!!

Well Done! I wish I'd had your courage far earlier than I did. Here's to the future!

Well done both mums and ds. So pleased to see this xx

Well done you!!

Just got through the full thread - well done you!

It is never easy - there are so many "what if's" to face - but you have done the right thing for yourself and for your DCs.

You've managed the hardest part - your mum will help you with the rest.

🥂 bloody well done you! 💐

Your Mum sounds brilliant!

Move home, be with your Mum, the rest of your family & friends. You're going to need support with DS1 & you're not going to get it from the cockwomble.

It's really sad that he's shown you how it could have been if only he'd grown up, but please, no matter what he says now, don't be fooled into believing he could maintain this for more than a fortnight. He knows how decent men act but he doesn't care enough to do it and he never will

Don't be worried, it'll be easier doing it 'alone' that it ever was doing it 'with' him.

• you won't be alone, you'll have family & friends
• you weren't doing it with him, you were doing it alone with the hindrance of him.

So glad to hear this update!

Well done you, and DS1!